To ask that people STOP giving incorrect Legal advice!!!

[PoisonMaple]

I see this time and time again.

Stop it. Especially in family matters.

I get it, some information is generic and helpful, but seriously, the details!!! Stop it. These are people who are struggling and looking for understanding, give it, but stop giving Legal advice unless you're qualified to do so.

No, you are not garaunteed spousal maintenance.

No, you cannot name the OM/OW in Proceedings.

No, you cannot delay your divorce to force the other side into financial disclosure.

No, you are not going to get to keep the house because you've been at home with children. Even if you do get the house, it'll be for a set period of time until the Courts deem that you need to sell or find an agreement which allows the other sides longterm housing needs to also be met.

No, you cannot just 'get his payslips,' get your 'ducks' in a row, screenshot the messages, and then assume that you'll get a better settlement with all this evidence. You won't.

'Custody' is not a thing. Your child(ren) will live with and spend time with.

No, you cannot ensure PR remains only yours. A Declaration of Parentage is simple and straightforward, as is the process to prove you're a parent and get PR, even abusers are entitled to that. It does not guarantee contact, but you can't stop PR by not adding to a birth certificate. Especially if the other side is persistent and wants that right.

I understand more than most how emotive a marriage/relationship breakdown is, both the human and legal aspect of it.

The bottom line is this, every matter is different. The process may start off the same, but the outcome is not the same each time and never garaunteed. A settlement that I can get for 1 client is absolutely not going to be the case for another client, even if their circumstances are the same.

Well either MN puts caveats at the top of posts/boards saying 'seek professional advice rather than listen to advice given by random posters' or they don't.

Ditto maternity advice as I keep seeing on here 😱

The ones that say it's fine your baby hasn't moved for 4 hours just have a glass of water scare me

I do feel sorry for HR people as lots of MN posters seem to think they are a one-stop conflict resolution service. My colleague is slurping her tea too loudly - go to HR. I don't like my manager's new policy to filing - go to HR. My manager says I'm not allowed to work from home caring for my six week old triplets - go to HR. I've been sacked for stealing the day's takings out of the till - go to HR.

As if HR will sort it all out with a wave of their magic wand, and always find in favour of the employee. Madness.

To be honest I’d have more confidence that someone has some kind of law experience if they could spell guarantee and Paralegal’s - what ?!
I’ll get my coat ..

😭😂😂

MN does put disclaimers. The Legal matters forum says : Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Similar on dedicated medical boards. But most people don't post there, they put threads in Relationships or Chat or AIBU for "traffic".

I think people would prefer to get 200 responses on AIBU along the lines of "that's awful, poor you, sue for damages and you're entitled to six weeks off work" than posting on a forum for dedicated legal advice, and getting 2 responses from people who do actually know what they're on about.

That's rubbish. Depending on the firm, and a lot now WFH, a lot of qualified solicitors, do offer at least a free 30 min or hour consultation slot, this is from law firms where I've worked and used in the past. It was not for Pro-Bono work or for eligible clients either. We didn't take legal aid clients either.

However, from my experience, this 'free' service is mostly to gauge what the client wants, especially if it's re divorce and usually it's not giving any concrete advice, it's just a 'tempter' appointment and a way to draw the client back into considering using them for their e.g. divorce.

For conveyancing never is this offered.

Employment law, maybe. I once back in early 00, saw a very good employment lawyer (2 of them actually) in Minories area I think, who gave me some good and free advice (which I used), and I actually would have used that firm going forwards for my employment law case if I'd had one (I didn't need them/it after all).

You do get some lawyers who never ever offer free advice, but there are some who are more human who sometimes do this, only because it's a way they could get work now, or in the future, or get a recommendation. It also depends on how busy their day/week is. If they're very busy then of course they won't/can't offer this then.

From what I recall too, advice/information/knowledge varies all the time. When you factor in how often the law and legal rules around areas of law changes (spent many hours changing the Lexis Nexis/Dentons filing books) and how with complex law, it's not straightforward and often a more experienced lawyer (like my ex boss, 88 years old then) will be able to advise/assist younger, less experienced lawyers/paralegals on certain areas of law, then it can be very complex indeed and you are paying (from my experience) from a lawyer's information and knowledge. Any initial 'advice' you may choose to give, as a lawyer, from your own time, will be purely (again in my experience) very loose initial advice as it's there to reel you in, to sign up the client for the case and then start billing them, or fixed fee, depending which it is.

Her praise of paralegals actually makes me think she is one herself. I don’t think she actually claims to be a lawyer - only talks about her clients, which a paralegal would be able to do too.

But there are some qualified HR experts here. Sometimes they will advise or sometimes they won't. I have had some 'advice' from posters who work in HR here in the past.

I feel like this with the medical threads, I'm no longer in the medical professional but I cringe when I see people giving downright dangerous advice on here, so confidently!

No, you cannot name the OM/OW in Proceedings.

I'm confused about that part, because you can? Unless it's changed since I got divorced a couple of years ago.

No - she clearly intimates that she is a lawyer - "we are in court, a lot."

You completely missed @VestibuleVirgin's point that you had made a somewhat unfortunate spelling error.

I'd be wary of engaging a lawyer who was so unable to understand this basic point.

Instead you went off on a tangent about paralegals and then after your original spelling error had to be explicitly explained to you, you doubled-down.

I'm not sure it is Vestible who is lacking in common sense here.

But they have no idea of knowing if those two people do actually know what they're talking about. No one sensible would give detailed advice in their own profession on here, and no one sensible would act on advice from here because they think a solicitor/doctor/accountant posted it.

200 posts advising OP that she has been hard done by and giving her the confidence to seek some form of resolution may actually be more useful.

When I got divorced 5 years ago, my solicitor (not paralegal) said that you could but that they advise against it. Thats because it made no difference to the outcome, but could slow things down (I think but I’m not sure, that they have to be informed that they’re named and that’s extra admin) and also she advised that it can for some people be inflammatory and she advised to just keep all proceedings as calm as possible. All good reasons not to - but like you, I was certainly told that you could.

'Also irritating are unnecessary apostrophes in plurals. Just saying.'

Thank you! OP, you're really going overboard with those!
Possessives have apostrophes, plurals don't.

And if you are looking for pointers - state which country you live in. The law is not the same in each part of the UK!

Yes, generally advised against, and like you say, it makes no difference and looks aggressive - but you can put them as a co-respondent, on the petition if you want to, or at least you could. I filed my own divorce and the option was there.

Edited to add: My best friend named the OW in one of her 'unreasonable behaviour' reasons.

YANBU OP. It happens in all aspects of forum life. No one should take professional advice from anonymous screen names. Health & legal are two huge areas where it happens way too frequently.

Divorces are now all no fault in England, since April 2022 not going to comment on while of UK. It doesn't matter how awfully either party has behaved or who with.

I said 'some' because I knew someone would be a long to say 'not always'. Instead, you came along to say 'always'. Got to love AIBU, where whatever you say, there is always someone who disagrees. 🤦‍♀️🤣

@Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain However, from my experience, this 'free' service is mostly to gauge what the client wants, especially if it's re divorce and usually it's not giving any concrete advice, it's just a 'tempter' appointment and a way to draw the client back into considering using them for their e.g. divorce

Exactly - the "free advice" is like the supermarket giving you a cube of cheese and a recipe leaflet - it tells you what you're likely to get and what you might be able to do with it - and isn't of much use on its own. Law firms need to assess whether there is a case that they can take there, (eg the Common Law Marriage myth), and how much it might be worth (he owns nothing and she won't get legal aid - case not worth taking); and the Client needs to get a feel for what she might be able to do and how she feels about the law firm who might do it.

So OP isn't wrong. No solicitor will give "free legal advice" as such. And won't actually do anything for you. But they will tell you whether they might be able to do something for you.

I also agree with OP about the quality of what people "advise" on here. (And her typos were clearly typos - evident to anyone with half a brain - and common when using phones with time keyboards and predictive text!)

@LeaveTheClocksAlone absolutely brilliant 😂