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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Please help me choose a house. It's driving me insane..

98 replies

arghdecisions12345 · 26/04/2024 18:31

Please give me some advice… I've never been in this position before…

My partner and I have separated, and I have a two year old child. I'm trying to find a house to buy. I did consider renting for a couple of years while I save up more money to buy a house that I truly want but a lot of advice I've received is just buy anyway for now because it will be more efficient than renting.

I'm really struggling to decide… I have seen a cute very little cottage. It is very very small. It's on a row of cottages in a very tiny quiet country road.
Apparently it is very sought-after and those cottages do not lose money so when I sell it, I could potentially make a little bit of money on it. It's certainly affordable. It's within my budget. But like I say it's small. A little dated. I'd definitely need to update it a bit.

I viewed another house that is £45,000 more than the cottage. It is big and beautiful and I loved the decor throughout the whole house. The only problem is the bedroom for my DC is very tiny. I didn't want her to have a tiny room.
But to be honest, the small bedroom in the cottage is probably the same size. That is also very small.

It might be that neither of these houses are the ones for me, but does anyone have any advice at all?

OP posts:
WowIlikereallyhateyou · 26/04/2024 18:32

The cottage. Its a banker.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 26/04/2024 18:33

The bigger house.

Space is necessary. And her room would be small regardless.

Pottedpalm · 26/04/2024 18:34

Are they on Rightmove?? Can we look??? ( not nosy at all ..😂)

MumMumMumMumMumMumMum · 26/04/2024 18:34

So both bedrooms are same size so that's neither here nor there. But is one house generally bigger than the others? What are gardens like? Are they both tiny country roads, what are locations like in comparison?

Riverlee · 26/04/2024 18:37

What’s the location like for both of them, schools, parking, garden size etc.

It sounds like a heart and head situation - heart is cottage and head is larger house .

£45000 is a huge jump in price. Is there something in between (or did you mean £4500?).

DisforDarkChocolate · 26/04/2024 18:38

Can you move a wall in the bigger house to make the second bedroom bigger?

Will the cottage mean you have to get the car everywhere?

What about school?

There is something to be said for having a small mortgage and bills when you're on your own financially.

At times you need to do the things that bring you joy.

FlexIt · 26/04/2024 18:40

Your description makes me think the cottage feel like duty rather than joy.
If there arent any other factors and it’s affordable then the lovely spacious house.

Tulip32 · 26/04/2024 18:55

I would look at the running costs (is the cottage well insulated?) and also consider maintenance too. I love old properties and my heart would say cottage but they can cost a lot to run/maintain.

Looking ahead a bit, what about schools - does this edge you one way or another? If not settled on either, then keep looking, the more you see, the easier it is to know the right one when you walk through the door.

BakedTattie · 26/04/2024 18:57

The spacious house

MatildaTheCat · 26/04/2024 18:58

Bigger house. The cramped one will drive you mad.

SarahAndQuack · 26/04/2024 18:59

Can you get a decent survey on the cottage? If it's dated, has it been well maintained? Older houses can be a bit money-pit-ish.

I love cottage-y tiny houses, but I think neither of these is right for you really. I'd definitely say if you think it is a very small house now, it is going to feel absolutely tiny when you move in. What are the dimensions?

AdamRyan · 26/04/2024 19:02

Keep looking, it's a buyers market atm. Clearly neither house is "the one". Make sure your EA knows you are keen and proceedable.

Bearbookagainandagain · 26/04/2024 19:05

I love cottages but would never buy one. They tend to be small, dark and very impractical. I've rented one and found it very difficult to find storage or create some, and we really struggled with how dark it was in the summer. Finding furniture was difficult too because of the odd dimensions and weird angles.

If you are even considering a bigger and brighter house, then you need to understand how important those things are.

determinedtomakethiswork · 26/04/2024 19:07

No way would I buy a little cottage in a little village.

I've seen too many threads on here where people haven't been accepted into the village.

But in any case I would go for the bigger house. Does the bigger house only have two bedrooms then?

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 26/04/2024 19:11

I am in your position and am on attempted purchase house no. 3

First 2 were cottages that fell through for issues related to their age. I'm buying a 1950s terrace to get myself on the ladder now.

I still would love a cottage though. But the bigger house will be better for now. Cottage when it's just you :)

seethingmess · 26/04/2024 19:15

The bigger house if it's affordable and the location is good. I've known people to move the wall between bedrooms to even up a big and small one.

jeaux90 · 26/04/2024 19:15

Bigger house.
But, which one has less neighbours?

BrieHugger · 26/04/2024 19:18

We were in a similar position 15 years ago and went for the smaller house. Luckily (in hindsight) it fell through and we stretched to the bigger one. Good job, as we’re still here and would’ve outgrown the cute cottage years ago as the children got bigger.

Once you’ve been in a few months and got it looking right and homely, you might not want to move again as soon as you think, especially if your kids are established at a local school.

Twiglets1 · 26/04/2024 19:20

Look at the floor plan for both so you know for sure which house has the bigger bedroom for your daughter.

Post both houses on here if you want, from the Rightmove website.

schloss · 26/04/2024 19:42

Why is the cottage small? Is it all the rooms are small? Are there less rooms downstairs?

If the bedrooms are the same size, I would say think about what your next move will be? If you plan to move on and you can be as sure as you can the cottage would make more money when you sell, I would see it as a stepping stone to getting a bigger property if that is what you want.

Villages and cottages can be wonderful, some people love them, others find village life not great.

CamoPenguin · 26/04/2024 19:46

I would go for the bigger one, but would also consider neighbours. We have always bought detached as don't want to risk noisy neighbours, so if one was detached or had less immediate neighbours that would be a big factor for me.

Original poster
arghdecisions12345 · 26/04/2024 20:13

To answer some questions ..

With the cottage -
It's insulated well.
I would need to decorate to update it a bit.
It's a 2 up - 2 down. No loft or anything.

There's a drive way. And a little garden space where I could have a little office built for my work.
It's a little row of cottages that are apparently very sought after.

They're very rarely up for sale. (Usually only sell when the owner has died, which is sadly what's happened in this case). Other people on that row have lived there between 10-50 years.

It's very quiet and close to lots of walks through the countryside. Anyone I've mentioned it to that I was going to view have said "oh my god, I've always wanted to see inside those cottages. It'll get snapped up. They're small but the location is just picturesque"
Which is true really. It's a gorgeous little lane.

When I walked through the cottage, I got some weird lonely feeling. Don't know why. It felt odd too that the owner who died, all her things were there, exactly how she left them. Bed unmade, her make up on the side etc. so it felt a little strange.

I know if I sell it in the future I'd probably make a bit of money on it. Apparently that row of cottages never lose their value.

The other house:

When I walked through the living room, dining room and kitchen I thought 'wow..'. It was gorgeous.

No parking. It's on a busy main road so I'd park on a side street.
Upstairs the main bedroom was gorgeous and big.
Everywhere was beautifully decorated.
I wouldn't need to change any of the decor.

The small bedroom is currently being used as an office. The boiler is in there. It's small. Would just about fit a single bed.
There's a loft with this property with a spiral staircase to get up to it. So I'd need a stair gate for that.

Nice back garden with decking.
But this house is on at £45,000 more than the cottage.

With schools, me ex is very focused on DC going to a school near their house. So who knows. DC is 2 and currently at nursery.

OP posts:
Xmasbaby11 · 26/04/2024 20:16

Personally I prefer the sound of the house but I’m not a fan of cottages and village life.

which location is better?

Riverlee · 26/04/2024 20:22

If the cottage is likely to get snapped up, chances are other people are interested in it as well, so you may not get it.

mathanxiety · 26/04/2024 20:25

I would avoid the busy road with the parking difficulty. Also, the boiler in the small bedroom doesn't sound great.

The cottage would be ideal imo. There's just you and your LO, so you don't need to factor in room for expansion to accommodate more DCs, and if you updated the decor it would feel and look (and smell) like yours. The driveway and local natural amenities would be a huge plus for me.

A £45k difference in price is substantial. Money really matters.