Please help me choose a house. It's driving me insane..

[arghdecisions12345]

Please give me some advice… I've never been in this position before…

My partner and I have separated, and I have a two year old child. I'm trying to find a house to buy. I did consider renting for a couple of years while I save up more money to buy a house that I truly want but a lot of advice I've received is just buy anyway for now because it will be more efficient than renting.

I'm really struggling to decide… I have seen a cute very little cottage. It is very very small. It's on a row of cottages in a very tiny quiet country road.
Apparently it is very sought-after and those cottages do not lose money so when I sell it, I could potentially make a little bit of money on it. It's certainly affordable. It's within my budget. But like I say it's small. A little dated. I'd definitely need to update it a bit.

I viewed another house that is £45,000 more than the cottage. It is big and beautiful and I loved the decor throughout the whole house. The only problem is the bedroom for my DC is very tiny. I didn't want her to have a tiny room.
But to be honest, the small bedroom in the cottage is probably the same size. That is also very small.

It might be that neither of these houses are the ones for me, but does anyone have any advice at all?

Neither. Things that you need/they need as they get older.
Off street parking (they eat loads as they hit teens and lugging shopping or getting a delivery is shit otherwise)
Decent sized bedroom
Larger downstairs space (otherwise they will drive you mad with gaming/their mates)
Garage if possible for bikes/scooter storage

My advice is stretch yourself now to try and get the above in a decent area.

Oh and I'm a lone parent, practicalities really matter to make your life as simple as possible

That's the thing, I know with the cottage I would probably do it up and only stay for a couple of years unless I really loved it then of course I would stay longer. But at the moment I imagine I would stay for a couple of years while I save up to get a bigger house.

But I do need to think of the practicalities. My daughter is almost 2 at the moment.

25 minutes from nursery sounds a long way, unless it's near work

I imagine I would stay for a couple of years

I’d go for the lower outgoings. When I bought my house five years ago, as a single parent, it was really affordable but I feel squeezed now. Like everyone really, but with only one wage it hits harder. And the cottage sounds sweet.

Hi op. You are asking the wrong questions here

Where is the primary school you like and cab you live walking distance. When you look at any house look at what that will mean for school choice

Try to think a few years ahead so you dont need to move again...

How close are parks and playgrounds ? Ideally you want at least one less than 10 mins walk

What about when she is 4 or 5 and starts having boisterous playdates? Is there a garden and big enough living room?

As a londoner I wouldnt expect private parking but you would be mad to buy a house without considering schools parks and shops etc

If you can...choose a place you can walk to at least a small shop for milk...

And ideally within walking distance you want the school so her friends will live nearby

@Mynewnameis I work from home.

@waterrat

I Don't imagine I would still be in that cottage when she is older just because it is very small and we would definitely need more space. So if I did buy the cottage, I would spend a little money doing it up and making it a little more up-to-date, and then would sell it in a couple of years so that I can buy a bigger house When I have a little bit more money.

My ex is moving closer to the nursery and near the school that they want DC to go to. I don't want to live too close to my ex so this house is a little bit of distance away from where they will be living.

I'm really struggling to decide. I'm still looking at other houses. And ones that are a bit more expensive, but I'm not sure what money I will have because we haven't sorted out the finances yet in the divorce. We are still having Mediation which is why I'm looking at houses that are more affordable, just in case .

Write down all the things you need.
Then all the things you would like

Then score the cottage and the house against each of these, perhaps giving double points to the things you need as opposed to want.

See which scores the higher. THink about whether this feels the right answer. If it doesn't, see what you've missed out in your lists of needs and wants. Keep going round the loop till you have a decision which feels comfortable. Sleep on it. See whether it still feels comfortable.

Neither. So some maths first.

Work out the fees you'd spend buying then selling again. Work out what the interest on the mortgage would be.

Compare the above to the cost if renting over the period before you'd need to move again.

Does either property have the scope to build an extension?

I wouldn’t buy either. There has to be more than two properties out there and if you’ve not finalised the financials yet, are you in a position to offer yet? It doesn’t sound like the cottage is that desirable or is overpriced as it would have been snapped up already. Equally, I wouldn’t buy a house without parking.

I would do my utmost to buy something that will last many years because unless you’re up North and looking at super cheap houses, stamp duty is just dead money. If you factor in two moves in only a few years, with the uncertainty of the housing market over the short-term, you might have been better renting.

But - moving is expensive - and stressful - a couple of years is nothing in a home - you then have to pay stamp duty when you buy again plus fees.

You also don't know if there will be a recession or somethign that stagnates house prices.

Much much wiser to find the right house that will see you through at least the early primary years now. And the best advice I can give is live somewhere where there will be other families/ near the school you end up at - that is what creates community.

@waterrat

I did wonder about that. The cottage is under £200k. Do you still need to pay stamp duty when it's less than £200k?

Neither.

Cottage might need expensive work that will need paying for.

House obviously needs something.

With respect, unless your ex will be doing the vast amount of the school runs, I'd pick something in walking distance as its easier for playdates and commuting and you'll lose less working hours around the school day.

Don't fall for the Buy Now! panic you're feeling because you feel subconsciously pressured to buy a "desirable" property. Its not that desirable if its not already sold and it could go down in value like anything so make a sound investment on what you need. Proximity to a good school never goes out of fashion.

You might not want to live close to your ex but he is going to be in your life and if you move first, you can't stop him moving nearer to you.

I'd also think longer term here .. . If he lives walking distance to the school and you don't, he might slide into manipulating your child to ask for more time with him because he will live nearer friends and parks that they want to play in after school.

I always tell people to try and live as close to primary school as possible - it really has such a huge impact on your life in so many ways. Friendships/playdates - people to help with drop offs and pick ups if you are ill or have work patterns that make it difficult. You are more likely to find after school care easily if you are near school etc - you will know more of your neighbours.

I really would prioritise that above most other things.

If your ex is the one closest to the school she might not get that school anyway if she’s registered as full time with you. Your address with be the address for the catchment.

Maybe neither are quite right as you'd be jumping at the chance if either of them were perfect x

Neither….cottage will mean taxi-ing child back & forth when they’re a bit older.
Bigger house-no on site parking….definitely a no no!
can’t you get something in between…with parking…near schools & shops?

I also don't like the boiler in the bedroom. For me it would depend on the location most and I hate driving everywhere and we didn't think about schools with our house and it is pretty far so end up driving every day which is annoying. Our old cottage is also a pain for maintenance and has no parking which drives us a bit mad

neither sound quite right. can you look a bit longer?

It’s a bit odd that you’re asking that when you’re already viewing houses. How do you know what your budget is when you don’t know what charges there are? Stamp duty thresholds are very very easy to Google search. I think you need to do that, and read an online buying guide too.

You say these cottages never lose their value… that’s estate agent speak, and sounds naïve. Everything has a ceiling price. Over the long term in the U.K., very very few houses haven’t increased in value. Thats house price inflation, not specific to these cottages. In fact, they may only have been rising with inflation in recent years and no more.

Neither of the houses sound right.

And why is your ex deciding where your child goes to school? There might be a good reason, but there also might not.

If you think the cottage is a banker and there's parking, I would prefer that. The bigger house still hasn't got a decent 2nd bedroom, no parking and a busy road so little if any advantage.

Or keep looking, but you'll lose the cottage to another buyer in the meantime.

Maybe look for something mid way? Cottages always seem a little dark inside ,also will you be able to build an office in the garden, or do they have any clauses that may make this difficult.The house may be a stretch financially too