AIBU for not wanting my child to be called "cheeky monkey" by the staff at a nursery every time they greet him?

[ekatk]

My DS is 3.5 and is quite an active child and lately I noticed that one of the staff members at the nursery calls him "cheeky monkey" every time she sees him. I don't want him to feel "branded" with this and think that it's a norm to call someone this word all the time, cause someone might consider this offencing. Should I talk to the nursery staff or AIBU? What would you do?

There's not a comparative word for this analogy - but let's just imagine the phrase "cheeky bimbo" became a term of endearment for boys and girls alike - surely you can imagine a situation where girl parents get offended by their daughter being endearingly referred to as "cheeky bimbo" because that term was historically used in a pejorative way towards women. Would you then say "so boys only can be called terms of endearment- got it" in that scenario?

Can you now see why it can be problematic to call a black child "monkey", even endearingly, in circumstances where monkey is still used as a racist term for black people around the world, including in this country (just go to your average football league game and see some of the chants occasionally made at black players)?

Disagree entirely. It's all about context.

I’d calm the fuck down

I always called mine monkey girl because of her insane ability to climb anything from babyhood. It was an endearment nothing more.

Parents are getting worse.

There's a soft play near me called Cheeky monkees. I really don't see the problem

Aw I missed the funny onion post when I scanned through earlier. It's what my dad used to call my eldest, love it.

I'd feel the same way about little tinker - it's solely derogatory here.

As a pp said, pick your battles. 'Cheeky monkey' wouldn't bother me. Adults called me that when I was a small child. It's just a term of endearment.

What DID bother me was when my older DD (Hannah) started nursery (at 4,) and one of the teachers used to say 'hello Hanny-Banny,' every fucking morning that I took her in.

After the first 10 times, I had to say 'I know this is trivial, but can you please stop calling her Hanny-Banny. Her name's Hannah.' May sound precious, but FFS Hanny-Banny. She did stop. But I shouldn't have had to say anything really. Just call her by her name FFS.

nb, Hannah is not my older DD's real name, this is an example. But it was just as ridiculous and annoying what the teacher kept calling her!!!

Do you mind me asking where you’re from @CelesteCunningham? I wasn’t sure precisely what connotations it had in England (we were living in the rural East Midlands), as we’re not originally from there.

Aw. My DD2 has a long name that little ones struggle to pronounce. All of her friends and some of the staff call her something like Hanny-Banny, I love it. As long as she's happy with it it doesn't bother me.

There are literally loads of Nurseries called Cheeky Monkeys.

It’s a term of endearment.

I can’t believe that you actually want to speak to the nursery about this term of endearment spoken to your child.

People really do seem more precious than ever before frankly.

I'm Irish @LandArt , assume you are too? Think I recognise your name from a haitch thread or similar haha.

well it's better than 'ah here ye are ya wee gobshite'

which is what my Scottish uncle used to call me 😂

Whatever. You will utterly embarrass yourself. But many parents are odd these days. Branded …….

Yes, I am. And a haitcher!

I suppose I was wondering what connotations it had in England, as no one in Ireland would use it affectionately as a term of endearment.

Thanks for being brave to share your experience and I'm sorry you had to experience all that.
It's still your right to bring it up, if you have the emotional energy to do so, as inclusion is about making people feel included, and clearly that's not the case if they are (even unknowingly) using terms that upset you.

I see the op’s point a little-playing devil’s advocate we’d call our son a cheeky monkey as have teachers- but it’s because he’s the joker of the class, he’d tell jokes, say what you don’t particularly need him to at that time then he’d say winkedy blink and wink. It’s in good nature and he’s a legend and seen as the glue of the clad (gets on with everyone) but If someone says that in front of example their school teacher they could potentially be ‘branded’ the one to watch?! (He’s one to watch so I wouldn’t mind and he’s popular with all the teachers so again no worries but I get op’s issue!)

They might stop calling him Cheeky Monkey and start calling you That Mother!

I read the title and thought aww! I loved being called a cheeky monkey. My favourite was “trouble”. Here comes trouble! It’s endearing.

People often say this and it's so untrue. Some young children are very active (and their parents know who they are!) while some are much more sedentary. It's not a reflection on either type of child's character or behaviour. It's just about their energy levels.

One of my children has been acknowledged right from the start by school/nursery staff as extremely active - he runs circles around the playground when let out at break and lunch time - and I haven't once had occasion to be spoken to by his teachers/carers about his behaviour at school or nursery. Not once.

OP - like you, I have mixed feelings about "cheeky monkey" but if used as a term of endearment, I'd let this one go.

🤭🤭🤭 Just when I thought I’d heard it all 🙄🙄🙄

Well at least it's not Baby Reindeer....

I think it's sweet! You're going to have a very long road ahead of you if you find this offensive...

I'd probably go with "can be offensive" rather than "is offensive" but I try to avoid offending the parents of kids I know, so don't generally use that term.

There's a soft play near me called The Funny Farm.
I'm not convinced they'd go with that if they were starting out now.