AIBU for not wanting my child to be called "cheeky monkey" by the staff at a nursery every time they greet him?

[ekatk]

My DS is 3.5 and is quite an active child and lately I noticed that one of the staff members at the nursery calls him "cheeky monkey" every time she sees him. I don't want him to feel "branded" with this and think that it's a norm to call someone this word all the time, cause someone might consider this offencing. Should I talk to the nursery staff or AIBU? What would you do?

I understand I think. Not quite the same but it makes me flinch a bit when people call my baby a ‘good girl’ or say ‘uh oh here comes trouble’ in a lighthearted way to my nephew for no reason other than he’s a boy.

But, I don’t know that I would go as far as saying something to the nursery.

It's a playful term of endearment.
Could your refer to that particular teacher as Burpy Whale. Your child could call her that sometimes in response - for fun..

I mean, if they called him a cheeky brat or something then you'd have a point. But cheeky monkey is generally used in affection! My DS2's nursery key worker used to call him cheeky sausage, he's almost 6 now and I still call him it. I thought it was cute.

You're entitled not to like it I guess, but I think you're very unreasonable to think your three year old will "feel branded".

My dd was a 'funny onion' at nursery. I quite liked it!

I think some of the replies are a bit harsh. I get you, if it’s not a phrase you like or would use. Tbh I found nursery staff would say all kinds of shit that I wish they wouldn’t say, but like this, I don’t think you’d achieve a lot by raising it. Some of this is just what we deal with when we entrust other people to care for our kids.

There are several strange ones in non-native English all started this lunch time.

Good God. Imagine being offended by a term of endearment?

I honestly have no idea how people get through life if things like this offend or upset them. OP, the nursery worker is being nice & interacting with your child. Surely that’s what you want.

My god I've heard it all now. Chill out

YANBU. It's usually only said to boys, too.

Yes that's understandable. You would hope people would know better than to use it to a black or mixed race child, albeit it's a long-standing endearment in English culture and fine to use for a white child.

Non-native English, seriously? Plenty of native people can't spell.

With every mumsnet post like this, it reminds me why I've decided not to go back to working in nurseries.

I really like when nursery staff do this, it comes across as warm and homely to me. It's all down to preference though I suppose. My DP was called an endearment at primary school which rhymes with his surname, and is apt for his character, and his friends he's known since then still call him by it, so they can stick. I'd think cheeky monkey is too generic for that though.

In my family and in OH family it's high praise

One of mine got called a dippy little soldier in preschool. It was cute, it was affectionate and he liked it. Stop overthinking things is my advice.

My daughter's key worker greets her with "Hi, Button Moon" when she arrives. I am fuming. DD is neither a button nor a moon, and I don't want her thinking she is. I have enough issues with her bedtime without her suddenly deciding she has to be shining all night. I will definitely be speaking to the staff.

Lookout for signs of her trying to balance heinz beans cans on her head and getting chatty with the wooden spoons

100% this!

I had a similar name in primary, not offensive at all, harmless. I remember it, it stuck, over time I did think people believed it and the name was actually not reflective of what I was like and I did feel branded and misunderstood a bit.

It took well into adulthood for most to stop associating me with the daft innocent name, with some surprised I wasn't actually like that, The funny thing was, I was never like it, they just went off the daft innocent name.

So I can understand the irritation

Get a grip

Its fair enough you don't like it but certainly it's not going to brand a child. Its just a turn of phrase. Say something if you want but honestly that's the kind of thing that will make staff think you are an unreasonable parent. I suspect they will be having a laugh about it in the staff room.

@LateAF I think you make a very fair point too though.

I’m a teacher … I say cheeky monkey … it’s said to my lovely sweet funny kids …. It’s 109% a term of endearment

I would never call a pain in the arse kid a cheeky monkey

You will do damage to their relationship if you complain… trust me .. pain in the arse parents mean you do take a minuscule step back from the kid to protect yourself

Unless you are a black Briton or otherwise a POC, please don’t be that parent!!!