Saying shut up to a 1/2 year old

[Redruby2020]

I could say alot about this situation, and I can elaborate if needs be.
But I just want to focus on this point for now. Parent/s saying shut up to a child whether it is said in a nice or nasty way I don't think it's appropriate. Said child is now saying it back to the mother, which obviously children will do. And today, mother has got annoyed when child has said it back to her.
Well that is very hypocritical for a start.

Also what do you think of kids being stuck in all weekend, there might be some days out, or events happening. But can very often be stuck in from Friday after school until Monday morning.
Also in the holidays unless a holiday is planned, maybe out 1/2 times in a week. There is a garden and children aren't encouraged it doesn't seem, to go out in it. I am aware said children have asthma which I'm sorry to say it, the mother smoking heavily throughout both pregnancy's can't have helped.
Do you think that's got anything to do with being more anxious about taking them out etc?!

Also letting youngest run up and down the kitchen/sitting room from 8/8.30 anywhere up until 10/11pm. I'm not saying for 2/3 hours straight, but frequently throughout those hours.
I have to put my headphones on because once my DC is in bed. I want to do some chores and unwind a bit etc before bed. This is all I have to listen to every night.
And them waiting up for whenever the bf father of the youngest out of two kids, gets there. Who apparently doesn't live there, so she claims on her own, but is there 7 days a week. He is a big mouth too doesn't care that anyone else might have kids asleep I find it all very disrespectful.

Very little of that has anything to do with you, or the problem, which I guess is noisy neighbours.

You really don't like the parents, do you? I'm not really sure that other people's parenting choices should be a concern of yours, what you're describing isn't abuse.

Oh ok it's just for things like that others have paid consequences for. So why is it others business what people do with their kids when it suits, and not on other occasions 🤷🏻‍♀️
Weren't we told that child welfare is everyone's business?
Also if someone claims benefits and has a partner living with them that is not included, that is nones business either then.

If you are being affected by the going's on and noise, why is that not my problem either?

I'm assuming they live next door to you?

They aren't parenting choices I would make but there is very little you can do. Instead of judging why don't you offer support?

Is this a neighbour? You can't exactly call social services because someone is saying shut up to their toddler. I think you just need to keep wearing your noise cancelling headphones and hope that either of you can move away in the next few years.

You really don't like them, do you?

If they are noisy neighbours you can complain to the council.

The rest of it is their choice as parents. Not ideal, but not abusive.

Oh ok I was told different in the past. So telling a one year old to shut up and then getting upset and you being nasty back is ok then.
I've seen posts about less on here, and some more positive responses and understanding ones too.

Well they probably wouldn’t win an award for parent of the year, and I’m not condoning benefit fraud (if that’s what’s going on). But none of it sounds remotely close to a safeguarding issue and is probably fairly typical of lots of families lives - not great but not terrible either.

I’m sure it’s sometimes annoying to live next to, but I think it falls squarely under normal family noise. I’d advise ignoring it as much as possible and not getting involved.

What is your purpose for posting?

That's not the case others have been scolded for the same.

I feel sorry for you OP. The mother sounds horrendous and it is hard to hear adults shouting at little children and not being able to prevent it.
It is draining and upsetting to listen to shouty parents. I feel for you

As the original question says saying shut up to a 1/2 year old.

Who has been scolded?

The noise affecting you IS an issue but it's separate from their parenting. They don't sound like particularly great people and some of the things you describe could be potential risk factors e.g. putting her own needs before her unborn baby's health, not bothering with a bedtime routine, telling toddler to shut up etc, but as it is now, there's nothing anyone can do about it.

@WillJeSuis Thankyou, it was just to say it out loud, and to get some points of view on the situation.

When my DC would have tantrums she would ring my bell, shall I now do the same every time her youngest is crying and she is telling them off or shouting.

@Wolfpa
The purpose of posting is to write down her concerns. Who made you the MN police? I am sorry for you OP. I hate hearing shouty, verbally abusive parents.
Some MN posters (and it is only some) will condone abusive behaviour towards tiny children They would condemn it if it was a man being abusive to his wife or partner. Verbal abuse is abuse and in my opinion worse if it involves very small children

She puts her nose in to things, but does not look at herself.
I have another post on things. Where she has used her baby sleeping in the afternoon as a reason to answer the door when my bell went.
But what concern is there at night to get the child to bed. Or for anyone else's that are sleeping then.

So you are just posting to ask if it is ok to tell a child to shut up and the rest of your post is nonsense?

it’s not OK to tell anyone to shut up but it is also not a criminal offence.

I'm with you OP, just telling them to shut up isnt abuse though.
My neighbour regularly verbally abuses her children definitely crossing over into emotional neglect, regularly shouting and swearing at them aggressively, one is a toddler the other Primary age at an additional needs school. Mum clearly has some additional needs and/or MH issues herself but I don't think that excuses calling her older child a "fucking retard", mum is nice as pie if anyone is in her house but literally as soon as the door shuts shes screaming at them. I reported to NSPCC and the additional needs school as she clearly needs more support.

Teen DD is autistic, extremely quiet and needs quiet and has taken to wearing her noise cancelling headphones most of the time.

Who’s been “scolded” for what?

Have you been in trouble for noise or your behaviour towards your children and are now upset that behaviour you see as equivalent from them isn’t being addressed?

Honestly, people tell their toddlers to shut up (and worse) all the time, just walk round my local Tesco! It’s far from good parenting, but social services are not going to get involved simply because of that, smoking in pregnancy, not going on days out or children staying up until 10pm.

If you believe benefit fraud is happening and you want to report them then by all means do so. If you believe child abuse is happening then you absolutely should report it, the details of how will be on your Local Authority website - but if it’s as you describe I’d be surprised if any action was taken, at least the kind of action you’d notice as a neighbour.

@WillJeSuis Yes when she was expecting they told her, her smoking could cause her to have a small baby, and she said well I will just have to have a small baby then 🤷🏻‍♀️

They sound like terrible parents. Poor kids.
Not sure what you can do about it though.

Some people say a lot worse , not sure what a 1/2 year old actually is but what's your point about that anyway?

As we can check others previous posts, I am straight up that I had issues within my own family unit, so I know what things are not right.
But she is the kind of person who thinks she can do what she likes, but others can't.