Saying shut up to a 1/2 year old

[Redruby2020]

I could say alot about this situation, and I can elaborate if needs be.
But I just want to focus on this point for now. Parent/s saying shut up to a child whether it is said in a nice or nasty way I don't think it's appropriate. Said child is now saying it back to the mother, which obviously children will do. And today, mother has got annoyed when child has said it back to her.
Well that is very hypocritical for a start.

Also what do you think of kids being stuck in all weekend, there might be some days out, or events happening. But can very often be stuck in from Friday after school until Monday morning.
Also in the holidays unless a holiday is planned, maybe out 1/2 times in a week. There is a garden and children aren't encouraged it doesn't seem, to go out in it. I am aware said children have asthma which I'm sorry to say it, the mother smoking heavily throughout both pregnancy's can't have helped.
Do you think that's got anything to do with being more anxious about taking them out etc?!

Also letting youngest run up and down the kitchen/sitting room from 8/8.30 anywhere up until 10/11pm. I'm not saying for 2/3 hours straight, but frequently throughout those hours.
I have to put my headphones on because once my DC is in bed. I want to do some chores and unwind a bit etc before bed. This is all I have to listen to every night.
And them waiting up for whenever the bf father of the youngest out of two kids, gets there. Who apparently doesn't live there, so she claims on her own, but is there 7 days a week. He is a big mouth too doesn't care that anyone else might have kids asleep I find it all very disrespectful.

“my child is in bed, which is where her kids should be”
Your posts are really obnoxious.
If you had a genuine safeguarding concern you would have made the appropriate telephone calls.
Im sure there are plenty of things you do as a parent that some of us would find appalling.

Yes most likely you/they would.

I feel bad making such calls others don't. That's why I haven't done it.
Also because it is well known how many councils services are already stretched and might not even look in to things.

You don't have to be in a council place to do that.

No I don't purposely answer someone else's bell that's really nosey.

@Wolfpa he goes to work. He doesn't stay anywhere else he sleeps here. How many fathers do you know of who pay rent elsewhere but spend 7 days a week at their gf's.
He only used to live with relatives.
That's not the same. Hence why when people say they couldn't possibly be living somewhere because their name is registered elsewhere. Do you know how baby people have their name registered elsewhere, for a few reasons.
Also when it is a relatives house, it is easy to move out, and just not bother to move everything over. Because there is no need.
Not like if you had been renting somewhere. And even then I have known people not move things over then either.

Sounds really tricky. I would hate to listen to that too.

I really can't work out what you are hoping to achieve with this hough? Are you just looking for a moan (understandable!!) Or advice?

My neighbours are similar, on both sides so count yourself lucky you only have it on one side! Their kids seem to go to bed early but there is shouting from 6.30am.

I do feel sorry for the parents as it can’t be easy, but at the same time it is crap parenting, I don’t even think it’s normal noise. And I do judge and feel sorry for the kids. It’s bad but it isn’t abuse and SS probably wouldn’t do anything, they are likely to be on their radar anyway.

You are far too invested in this family's activities, and it's actually coming across as creepy and unpleasant. I suggest minding your own business. And perhaps a hobby.

Too much drama, you know an awful lot about what your neighbours are up to. Telling a 1 to 2 yr old to shut up is not ideal.

More mutual tolerance would be the best way forward here.

I'm assuming you've never had contact with people like this?

What do you mean "people like this"?

If you mean parents who are not making the same choices I would then yes, of course I have. In both a professional and personal setting.

I mean the type of people that tell their children to shut up and fraudulently claim benefits. You're likely to get a fist sandwich.

So, basically, you've already decided that you aren't going to do anything about this. In that case, what is the point of this thread?

If you were asking whether people thought this was something you should report, and actually wondering if a report to social services might help the children, that would be a perfectly valid reason to be talking about this on Mumsnet.

But in fact, you've already made the decision to do jack-shit about it, and just wanted to start a thread on Mumsnet you can get some entertainment out of encouraging other people to slag your neighbours off along with you.

If you think the children are at risk, it's awful not to report it. If you don't think they're at risk, it's awful to be using their lives as misery-porn on Mumsnet.

Saying shut up isn't polite but it's hardly abuse and is probably and end of tether reaction to endless talking. I'm sure she's worked out where the child learned it and is feeling crap about it.

Maybe they don't like their garden. It sounds like they have a nosy neighbour which would put me off going out there. If the child has asthma cold air or pollen could set it off. Or they might get foxes and cats crapping everywhere. Without knowing what they are doing you can't really judge their choice to not use the garden. My child spent their entire time outside at nursery when he was there, so we didn't prioritise being outside at the weekend and did crafting type activities instead (which he missed out on at nursery due to being unwilling to leave the mud he was wallowing in).

A child who wakes up at 8 and has a long nap in the daytime could easily be up until 11. It probably suits the parents to not be woken up at 5 and to get some time in the middle of the day while the kid sleeps.

Aw man, I've not heard the phrase "fist sandwich" in years! Although people round my way call it a "knucke sandwich"

Telling a child to shut up is horrible, don't get me wrong but it sounds like the mum is at the end of her tether.

We also don't know she's fraudulently claiming benefits, this is something the OP suspects because she spies on next door.

A bit of kindness works wonders sometimes, is all I'm saying. But it could also lead to a fist in the face 🤷‍♀️

Oh god, OP. You sound like a really nosey neighbour. Stop your obsession with what they're doing and focus on your own life. What you are detailing is not abuse - you're just being judgey.

I'm not getting the vibe that you're worried about the child, more you want to get revenge on your neighbour.

Do you have a job or a hobby you could take up?

It was to say it out loud to someone nothing wrong with that, and not to say oh well you should only come on to ask if it should be reported.

They are not either side of me, they are in the property below.
She told me all that I know, I don't go around catching information.
Also we have a piece of like board that segregates the flats so unfortunately I can't hear everything not sitting listening out for it.

Poor kids, sounds quite horrible for them.

The running up and down in one room is not your business, neither is the perceived benefit fraud. Her guy may sleep at the house a lot but if he has his own place, he is not actually residing with her. Anyway, you don't grass up neighbours for things like that.

It would be nice for the child to go in the garden and I have no idea why the mother doesn't allow that but I doubt SS would do anything about it. As for her smoking, pregnant women did that for years before it was considered unhealthy for their babies and most were fine.

Your problem is a noise nuisance and I sympathise. Environmental Health are the people who deal with noise nuisances but you can't depend on them coming round at a time when the noise is happening.

I do wonder sometimes if people actually check whether you can hear things through walls in houses before they move into them. There is usually a survey involved which will tell you what sort of walls and insulation there is. I hardly hear anything through my adjoining wall. At my previous house, you could hear everything from either side and they could hear us, it was awful but it was a 'first house', all we could afford then and not forever, so we put up with it.

Any chance of you, or her, moving? She sounds obnoxious.

Surely a 1/2 year oldustbbe a 6 months old baby. 1/2 a year.

I can tell you that you are describing a home environment where the children are fed & cared for in the best way they can be by these parents. There are millions of children who are genuinely neglected, abused and have shit lives. It doesnt sound ideal and it would be a huge issue for me but I'd probably report to social services if really concerned about abuse or move house. As all teachers and nursery workers know there are plenty shittish parents but fuck tons of deprivation and poverty. I can't believe what I hear parents say to little kids. Just move.

The last bit of what you said really doesn't make sense.

@LBFseBrom Surveys 😆 do you do that when you rent 😆 they weren't living here when I moved in either.

They aren't on either side of me they are below.
I have been through alot and finally got some housing when I got this place. So moving isn't really an option now.

As for her i wouldn't know, if she would consider moving. She lied to her housing assistance in the first place and held out where she was previously because she thought she would get council, sadly not.
Bf clung on too, as he had nowhere for his kids from previous to go, so when she got what she has now, he took the opportunity to shack up there.