Aibu to think some parents are really desperate to appear progressive & cool but it's having a detrimental effect on their kids?

[Primroseoil]

We have plenty of acquaintances that appear to be extremely left wing & it appears to be an attempt to fit in with who they seem "cool" families.. Media types, Boho types.. But it appears to have had a detrimental effect on their children's education, behaviour & attitude? Aibu to blame the parents?

Because of the divisive language used by both the right wing Tories and their echo chamber channels like GB News and TalkTv, this is why we have people like the OP using “left wing” as an epithet.

They hear the term used to describe people who don’t act like them. Who allow freedoms for their children that they find uncomfortable.

There’s no actual accuracy in the term when it comes to what left-wing actually means. They might as well say non-conformist, or progressive, or god knows what.

People like the OP also use terms like “woke” incorrectly, because they see it in the Mail and GB News.

I’m just amazed at the number of people describing themselves as left wing yet educating their kids privately. I don’t have a beef with private education but wouldn’t describe myself as left wing. Obviously the definition of left wing must have changed over the years-it would have been seen as extremely hypocritical for left wingers to use private education in the past.

I’m the same as you, no beef with private but have found that combination on here surprising and yes hypocritical

Wtf are “media types, boho types”? And what is far left for you? Acknowledging the existence of non-binary people isn’t exactly synonym with nationalising the means of production. Maybe you should continue to just hold your views about what good parenting is and let others do the same.

Agreed. Buying privilege with some hand waving about the inadequacy of local state offerings for your offspring is the ultimate Tory aspirational stance.

State education is in crisis, I guess it challenges a lot of people's political values when faced with the reality of how badly the Tories have wrecked schools and the prospect of sending your child into that disaster.

Do you feel inferior to them in some way OP? Because that’s what I’m getting here, loud and clear.

I had no idea being left wing meant I was supposed to get my kid a phone and not make them do their homework. What an eye opener.

@HesterRoon @EasternStandard @Craicbaby

None of them are left wing, they just think they are. What they are is liberal. They're all 'left wing' until their own privileges are threatened (despite already having a big share of the pie) and then they scream blue murder. One they are not about is fairness and they turn themselves into pretzels trying to justify themselves.

I don't think it's such a juxtaposition. I want my child to be educated and give a shit about others.
I am sure plenty of people on benefits vote Tory!

I'm left wing in that I care about society as a whole, understand the benefits that immigrants bring to our country and believe in climate change and that huge investment is needed in green initiatives. And many other 'left' views. My son is going to private school this year because his state school can't meet his needs. Because it's underfunded by the Tories. I feel like I can be both.

@RespiceFinemKarma maybe some people who are on benefits vote Tory because they see the party as aligning with their values. Maybe they see themselves in a temporary situation where they need help. People who say they’re left wing yet buy themselves privilege while ‘caring’ about others make me smile. In societies which we would describe as left wing, state education is seen as the norm even for wealthier people. I remember my Danish friend coming to our little west London enclave and expressing surprise at the number of kids in private school.

@HesterRoon if state schools in the UK were as good as state schools in Denmark, I'd be pretty surprised by the number of kids in private too. Wouldn't it be great if all of our children had access to good quality education that meets their needs?

Blimey, I didn't know I was sending my kids into a disaster!

It seems some people feel their children's needs must be met more than others

It seems some people feel their children's needs must be met more than others

Exactly the situation in my DS's class. The disruptive kids demand all the teachers attention and DS has been invisible for years. Dyslexia completely missed by all his teachers.

So the disruptive kids are because of tory underfunding?

Yes. Not enough teachers to support classes. Lack of mental health support for children with SEN. Issues at home due to living in poverty due to benefits being cu and increased cost of living. I could go on. It's well known that the situation in our state schools has worsened under the Tories. And behaviour has worsened.

I think we all understand that a child with a TA to support them is likely to be less disruptive than a child without a TA.

This is pretty basic. I'm sure you know this.

"So the disruptive kids are because of tory underfunding?"

When my son with severe sn is properly supported in school he doesn't display the behaviours there that cause problems for others.

I'll buy my child the "privilege" of proper SEN teaching just as much as the holier than thou grammar school lot buy mansions and cars, but always glad to make someone smile.

@HesterRoon I describe myself as left wing as I support having a high tax with high spending on public services economy. I vote for left wing parties. If I lived in Denmark or Norway with their well funded schools then I'm sure mine would be going to state schools.
Unfortunately I live in England where schools have been underfunded for decades by the tories.
Im not going to deprive my children of having nice experiences and a fantastic education. Just like I'm sure you wouldn't deprive your children of swimming or dance lessons because other less wealthy families can't afford them.
I will vote and campaign so that hopefully one day all children can go to great schools and have state funded after school and enrichment activities.

Pretty arrogant to assume you know better than the child's actual parents what school suits them best. FYI bullying happens in independent schools too.

To true 😂

I would consider myself left wing, yet I am considering private school for my child because of his additional needs (not severe enough to get into a special school, but he's missing a lot of mainstream school). I also have used private healthcare when we weren't getting anywhere with NHS for my other child's health issues.

I don't think it's that clear cut. I'm not willing to let my child potentially suffer life altering health issues or miss out on an education in order to honour my ideology.

Under a series of right wing or centrist govts our education and healthcare have got a lot worse... Maybe if that hasn't happened you'd be less likely to get people in this situation.