Aibu to think some parents are really desperate to appear progressive & cool but it's having a detrimental effect on their kids?

[Primroseoil]

We have plenty of acquaintances that appear to be extremely left wing & it appears to be an attempt to fit in with who they seem "cool" families.. Media types, Boho types.. But it appears to have had a detrimental effect on their children's education, behaviour & attitude? Aibu to blame the parents?

@Lex345 I am also a northerner I just watch a lot of American box sets 😂

So you barely know these people, you just don't like their politics.

On parenting, I think you can't really tell how it turned out until about 21.

I think it is best to focus on your own kids, I'm sure there are areas you could improve too.

not sending your child to private school if you can afford it (and how on earth are you privy to their finances?!) is not the same as not being a good parent!!
also I can assure you bullying happens just the same in private schools. You get unpleasant unhappy children everywhere.

Just once, I'd love to see someone anti-pronouns truly commit and not use any pronouns at all in their writing.

Likely, they’re not really committing there

I know a family who meets all this criteria. But the reason they are very anti-private school is because they can't afford it but they pass it off as 'their principles' because, well, they're champagne socialists so don't want to appear that they can't. Except they drink Prosecco. Now I'm confused. But they are annoying if that helps.

I think your friends need new friends.

Ooh. I'm a left wing person who didn't make their children do homework at primary.
One has got a double First from Cambridge.
One has no qualifications beyond GCSE.

Hmm.

So ... basically this is a post to say that anyone who has views that are different to yours is unreasonable?

None of the examples you've given seem to be in themselves detrimental to their children. And, considering you hardly know these people I'm not really sure how you can be so sure that making a different decision would be so much better for the children?

What's wring eith child at local primary rather than, in your words 'lovely private' school?

None of your business.

Gender pronouns, yep shit nonsense but up to them if they want to call themselves zeii zeee them or batshit or whatever. Just don't use them yourself. Many are realising for the majority it is social contagion and a trend. Just don't use them.

Parenting styles are different so again you do you and ignore theirs.

Do they chat to you often about their children's underperformance academically?

I can imagine exactly the kind of people you are talking about in terms of demographic and lifestyle.

I think there is a group that simultaneously have high expectations for their children academically (because they were academic themselves) but also a disdain for the education system. They seem to see themselves as above things like spelling tests, dress up days and don’t care about attendance or being late. It seems to me to be rooted in a belief that their children will naturally succeed.

Really not meaning to be snippy, but I would say this is a projection based on your own issues/prejudices/insecurities.

Judging people you don't know based on demographics or visible lifestyle is pure stereotyping.

🤣🤣 I was 8 in 1976, and never DARED spend my emergency 2p on SWEETS! Is it too late to find my rebellious inner wild child? 🤔😂

Then why are you wasting time and energy on them?

Judge Judy

No one knows whether a school acquaintance can afford private school or not! You can only guess, but have no idea what debts or expenses they have. And bullying also takes place in private schools so it isn't a magic solution.

Pronouns on social media are pretty common and most people who work in media have them - it may even be a policy of whichever company they work for.

Aren't all children supposed to find their parents cringe? My 5 year old still thinks I am awesome, but the bigger one has pretended he doesn't know me in public a few times now. Oops, I used a pronoun too!

You've obviously started this thread to slag off parents with a different view on sex and gender to you. Yawn.

This is hilarious - @Primroseoil are you on the wind-up?

what I find fascinating is that this post, this OP, is exactly why I miss working abroad and why I hate my own country sometimes.

It’s the desperate need for everyone to confirm to a set mediocre standard that makes everyone uneasily comfortable for the minute they feel they’re in the same set.

If you’ve got a car, make sure it’s an SUV so it’s “safest for the ickle ones”. Anyone who chooses an old Polo or Golf clearly doesn’t care about their kids or hasn’t worked hard enough.

When you discover rear-facing for older kids, make sure you proactively judge others who don’t. Take one or two holidays a year, but not more than that or you might be seen as fickle and not hard working enough. Don’t ever rent - why would you - it’s “literally throwing money away”. Ensure your child goes to loads of after school activities without ever monitoring their progress as a human being or having to spend time with them. We don’t talk about politics, because the Left is “woke” and secretly we vote Tory because it matches our idea of our financial position in life.

I could go on, but my god I’m bored of how people come across in this country.

so what someone is “left wing” and doesn’t send their kids to private school even if they could afford to. Why on EARTH do you care so much?!

YANBU but this is one of those threads where the first few replies were outraged or contemptuous so the other posters have taken their cue from them.

Yes, ‘left wing parenting’ (no proper sanctions, acting like your child’s mate, ‘respecting their pronouns’, drilling into them that the system is elitist and controlling and they’re entitled to be a little yobbo) is crap. And damaging.

So you are bitching about a couple you don’t like, who may also happen to have bad parenting skills, under the guise of boho media parents? (A praise that means nothing.)

I hate to break it you but you used 4 pronouns in your OP alone……

Seems like random petty gripes about another family who do not require and have not sought, your approval.

Do you often ruminate angrily about people who haven't done as you would? There are a lot of people like that. I'm not sure why you think that you get to set the bar.

Try minding your own business?

People post what they think, just because your view is the minority one here doesn't mean everyone else has 'taken their cue'.

And I think people have taken a cue.