I sent my dyslexic daughter to private school in Year 4 and pulled her out, with no where else to go in Year 7. I have two others that have always been in state.
I personally don’t think there’s an issue with sending one if it’s the right school for them and that’s what they need. It’s not fair, but then neither is dyslexia or any other diagnosis that makes them a square peg in a round hole.
However, I do think you should guard yourself against seeing private schools as inherently nicer, more supportive places than state schools. Often they really aren’t, they’re just very good at marketing themselves. Also, fees will increase. Be prepared for that. My daughters school stayed off at 12,000 a year. It’s now £18,500.
In year 7 when my daughter moved from the prep school, she was drawn into a very unhealthy relationship with a girl who encouraged her to view pro anorexia / self harming content on social media. She almost groomed her into it, this girl destroyed her relationships with everyone else and then completely cut her off so she was totally isolated. The school’s response was to allow her to sit crying in a classroom every break and dinner time, rather than cry in the toilet. The head of year told her that she needed to make up with this girl and try and fit in. When they’d done literally F/A and she started self harming by taking a pencil sharpener apart and cutting herself with the blade, I was told this wasn’t a safeguarding concern. There were reams and reams off WhatsApp conversations and social media content that showed exactly what was happening and they couldn’t have cared less. I suspect it was because the other girl was one of three siblings and that I was only paying 1 set of fees. This is how it came across. They didn’t speak to the girl, talk to her parents etc etc . I pulled her out eventually giving a terms notice on the penultimate day of term, so I wouldn’t have to pay two terms worth. They went absolutely mad at me. I can’t tell you how awful their response was. I was told I was making a big fuss about nothing, despite the evidence I gave them and that they’d sue me if I didn’t pay the extra terms fees. I didn’t get upset or angry or give them any abuse I just said , no I can’t keep her there and they hung up on me! They could not have given less of a fuck about my daughter who at that point couldn’t go outside without having a panic attack. They were an all round school that prided themselves on their pastoral care and provision for children with dyslexia , ASD etc. My husband pursued a complaint against them. I just didn’t have the energy to do it at that point. I just wanted her out of there. It wasn’t about the money, we were totally prepared to pay a term’s fees but in the end they wiped these off, admitted fault rewrote their safeguarding policies and provided extra training for all staff etc.
My daughter chose a state school for her next school. She went to view two other private schools too but decided on that one. She was out of school for six weeks while we sorted another place. I was really apprehensive about her moving to state. It was a school that had a complete overhaul in recent years and had not got the best reputation. She’s been there for three years now and they’ve been bloody brilliant with her. The pastoral care is fantastic. She’s happy, she’s doing really well academically. She walked through the doors and became a totally different person. In addition, with the huge amount of money we’re no longer paying in school fees I’ve bought three horses/ ponies for her and her younger sister. I feel like the horses are far better value for money in terms of developing soft skills.
Sorry for the long post but I guess my point is don’t be drawn in by their glossy marketing and state of the art facilities. Try and see past the bluff and realise that ultimately they’re all businesses. Think what you could do if you spent the money indulging other interests and whether it’s the best value for money.