Do you send failing asd kid to private school?

[Pippy2022]

Have a little dilemma. I can only afford private school for one kid.

Do you send the non-academic (1-2 yrs behind), dyslexic, autistic child to a non-selective supportive private school (Y7+) so she has the 'best' possible start in life (IF private school let's her in....she is atrocious at any sort of tests). She is more straightforward and less overwhelmed than child no.2.

OR do you send next child who is also possibly autistic but is bright. This child may pass 11+ and go to a good grammar. However, this child is very emotional etc and would benefit from a smaller classroom.

Which would you choose?

I dont think the extra tutoring, piling on the workload at weekends etc is good for an asd pupil (or anyone) who struggles in mainstream. Isn't it better they receive the quality education they need throughout the school week instead?

I'm not sure kid no 1 meets the criteria for an ehcp. She is mildly autistic so I haven't attempted an ehcp. Just very behind at school. Is this wrong? She's being assessed for dyslexia but I'm sure she is.

Lots suggesting private schools aren't good with SEN. In my experience that tends to come from those who have no experience of what a private school can offer for children with SEN. We're sending DS to a school which has a specialist unit for dyslexia and is well known for how well it supports children with it. Indeed when I told friends we were doing this, the first thing they said is we'd be better off staying in state as we'd get more support. Not sure where that comes from as support for SEN is woefully underfunded where I am but I think it's just a common misconception.

The criteria for EHCP assessment is might/does have SEN and might/does need support in school.
It's a very loose legal test.
Don't believe any of the myths about academic achievement and so on, focus on the law not local or school policy.
The fact that you are posting and asking suggests their needs aren't being fully met.
She could be behind due to class noise, not understanding instructions, sensory overwhelm and so on.

Personally I'd fire off the request, there are template letters you can adjust. And go from there. You've got nothing to lose spending an hour on that really.

Depending on who your LA is be aware that some unlawfully refuse all requests without considering them correctly. You can appeal and parents win over 98% of the time. Just in case you are in one of those areas.

Yes, my impression is that state schools let kids fall behind. That's certainly what's happened with kid no1 at primary. They don't offer anything extra and they have a specialist asd classroom which she doesn't meet the criteria for.

I'm in Kent. I've just asked the school senco about an ehcp, thanks.

So many people saying private isn't good for SEN. Yet whenever the subject of VAT on school fees is broached there's an avalanche of posters wailing 'but what about SEN?' Which is it?

If Senco says no you can apply yourself. The LA will contact school later in the process anyway.
A lot of schools try to put parents off due to the costs involved as the first bit of money comes out of their budget.

Lovely FiL offered to pay for youngest to go BUT When I looked into it there were hidden pitfalls and extra costs. I used the ‘see if you can see a child that reminds you of yours and look to check if they are happy to be there’ as my schools rule of thumb.

Instead I opted for an inclusive primary. This offered smaller breakout teaching groups for SEN, provided additional support for youngest and differentiated for horribly gifted ASD son. They could also bring in SALTs physio and OT to work with youngest as well as specialist focus outreach teams. It would have cost me a lot if I had had to fund all that on top. FiL paid for additional out of school one to one tuition for youngest and access to extra gifted teaching for horribly gifted child. That helped both of them. Youngest continues to have struggles inc health but managed to gain GCSEs. Son blagged his way onto a higher apprenticeship and had his degree paid for and was paid to learn.

Look at the possible longer term gains and keep your children’s options open.

Could you send child 1 if it’s going well enough for child 2 apply for a bursary/scholarship?

Wishing you the best of luck with Kent. They are probably the worst LA in the United Kingdom, from my experience anyway. Prepare for battle sadly

I suspect all those claiming private schools are not good for SEN don’t have first hand experience, or maybe have experience with one school that isn’t good with SEN. There’s a lot of diversity across what private schools offer, so anyone making sweeping statements like that is not very well informed.

my dc’s school sounds very similar to what the op is evaluating- a mainstream but nonselective private that has built a reputation for supporting ‘milder’ SEN such as dyslexia and autism. probably a third of the junior school children have SEN, and there is a great deal of expertise amongst classroom teachers, not to mention SEN lead and a literacy specialist on staff.

My two dc sound a bit like the OP’s in that one was clearly ND and was struggling in her state school before we moved her. My other dc maybe has some literacy challenges (looking at dyslexia now) but that was not on my radar when we moved her with her sister. In retrospect I am really grateful that we moved them both, as when second dc started to struggle we were able to intervene immediately, which wouldn’t have been the case had we kept her in state. I am not sure how you make the decision, but I don’t think you have to give each exactly the same when they have different needs.

Is there a good SEN/dyslexia school for child 1? I would definitely try for an EHCP if they are 1-2 years behind.
If child 2 needs smaller classes then I might look into private for them. It will be harder (not necessarily impossible) to get an EHCP for child 2 with no diagnosis, no behavioural issues and not academically behind. But a grammar might suit them too.
Wellbeing is a more important factor than academics in my opinion (having 2 teenagers who have both struggled to different extents with secondary) although it sounds like they might both benefit which makes the decision hard.

Because those saying private school isn't good for SEN and those concerned about VAT for those with SEN are not the same people?

It is really hard! I'm grateful for your responses!

Can someone tell me if an ehcp really makes a difference for someone mildly autistic?

One in private and one in state is fine if it works for the kids individually.

Not read full thread, but spotted some discussion of grammar schools and SEN. I am a parent of SEN dcs, and all have been (or are going to) grammar schools. The lessons I have taken from my dcs’ experience is that grammar schools can be a good fit for SEN (they can sometimes offer more SEN input, per child, as the numbers of SEN children tend to be lower in selective schools (because of the nature of the entrance tests); but this depends massively on the school, and how flexible they are willing to be, in terms of how many gcses each child has to take, and what the arrangements are for exams and mocks etc (which can make a massive difference to how a child performs), and what the pastoral support is like.

OP I did exactly that. DD adhd and ASD went to all girls private school that have great SEN and she is thriving.

My neighbour is doing exactly what you are proposing to do too.

You chose the school that is right for your child and if the other DC is really bright grammar is probably the better place.

Mildly autistic isn't really a phrase that's used these days. A lot of kids have what's called a spikey profile anyway e.g. excel in some areas and struggle in others. Also they may mask so your mild child may be internalising their experience and that does often end in complete burnout and shutdown later in life.
If you mean academically able then I can say that my kid has thrived once moving to a suitable independent school funded by the LA.

It will vary though depending on the quality of the EHCP and the assessments that feed into it.
If the EHCP is woolly e.g. 'child might benefit from a smaller class on occasion' then it'll be crap.
Make sure it is measured and specific e.g. 'child requires a class size of 15 or less at all times' is better than the phrase above.
Also make sure they've included everything from the professional reports. They do accidentally miss things especially if they are expensive.

I would not pay for private for one & not the other.

Even the private that claim to be supportive with SEN, generally aren't the way the state sector is required to be.

People on this thread, some have no clue what classes of 30+ in massive mainstream schools do to a SEN kid

Go private OP

It’s just weird what people’s perceptions are of ASD. If your child is high academically performing with poor social skills your average academically selective private school would be a far, far better option than your average state school. Private school kids are on the whole better behaved / calmer because their home lives are much more likely to be stable. a calm atmosphere with calm kids is what many many high functioning ASD kids crave.

Child no. 1 is not academically able that's why I'm considering private because I'm worried she will continue to fall behind in state. I've seen no particular benefit at primary level. They don't do anything extra. The TA just assists them abit more than everyone else. And this is a school that has a sen classroom.

I looked into it for my own failing ASD kid.
Everything around us would have required him to sit and entrance exam. Which he would have failed.
I remember thinking that if state school had prepared him to pass an exam like that- I'd have no complaints with state school, in the first place!
I ended up home educating for three years. He'll be starting at a SEN hub attached to a mainstream school next term.

A significant proportion of SEN schools (the ones which fall under section 41 of the education act) are Independent and they are funded essentially via Local Authorities, almost exclusively for kids with EHCPs. There would be no way that parents could afford the fees that specialist provision charges, and no way that the LAs could provide similar on their own purse so they effectively sub-con on a case by case basis. For example the ASD senior school near here, takes kids from 3 counties mostly plus boarders and the day fees start at £54,000 a year. These are children who could not be accommodated in mainstream.

So for the govt to whack VAT on that, shoots themselves in the foot to some degree and there would have to be separate legislation to deal with this conundrum.