To have avoided the "outstanding" school?

[Thaimoon]

We live in a large city. Pfb is 4, off to school in September.

I admit to being anxious and to overthinking most big decisions I make so throwing this out here for some perspective and the benefit of other's experience.

Just received confirmation that the school we picked as our first choice is the one our child has a place at, all good. On looking round, it seemed a nice school with a good friendly feel to it, it's very diverse and extremely local to us. So, I was happy with this.

Then, preschool tells me that all dc's little friends are off to the outstanding rated primary down the road from us (both schools in walking distance from our home).

We did look around this school too. It has had an outstanding ofsted twice in a row. It is a faith school, and we do not practice any religion in our family. Not necessarily an issue for many, I get this, but I thought it might be a bit confusing for dc.

However, the main thing that put me off was the treatment of a child with learning needs that I witnessed whilst being shown around (by a senior member of staff) which to me was distressing and disturbing to watch.

Its got great academic results and clearly is doing something right. But for me the behaviour I witnessed was a deal breaker.

Just having a last minute wobble about the fact that most of dc preschool parents have picked an outstanding school, and that they won't be with their friends. AIBU to pick a lower rated school based on a gut feeling from one incident I witnessed?

This mirrors our situation. We decided on the "good" school over the faith "outstanding" school as we had a better feeling about it. Best. Decision. Ever.
Our dds school is the most caring supportive school, always doing clubs and events for the kids. The other school, I later found out, uses its faith selection to avoid any obvious nd kids. My friend who moved here mid school year was told they didn't have the facilities to take her autistic ds.
Trust your gut and not the offstead rating

My child goes to an Outstanding school that is awful for anyone with SEN. They even try to discourage you from applying if you have SEN because they know they won't be able to provide adequate support. Not sure they're allowed to discourage prospective parents, but they do. So I really wouldn't apply for a school purely based on Ofsted. Your child will make new friends, that's what settling in sessions are for. Reception teachers are truly amazing and they'll make sure all the children form friendships.

Good luck, but I'm sure it'll all be fine!

I sent my children to two outstanding primaries. I made a mistake with the second. I should have chosen the good school that was a better fit. I did not actually understand what was outstanding about the school except it had some good equipment!

For me, an outstanding school is one that nurtures all its pupils, not just those who find learning easy. The way a school deals with children with additional needs speaks much about its culture.

I think you should congratulate yourselves that you haven't simply relied on the reports you e read, that you’ve taken the trouble to read between the lines, that you’ve thought carefully about the ethos of the school and whether it fits your child. I think you’ve made the right decision.

So glad I posted!
Thanks so much for all the encouraging and reassuring responses, much appreciated

I don't know that I agree really. Kids without SEN are absorbing messages about the support and inclusion of those with SEN. I think a supportive environment for those who need it most is valuable for the whole school tbh.

Absolutely agree.
My children are pretty privileged. They're bright, quite talented, financially secure with a stable home life and access to plenty of extra and super curricular activities. I didn't want them in a school where people who didn't have all their advantages were seen as lesser and I certainly got that vibe from the "Outstanding" primary school in our area.
No, my children didn't "need" the SEN programme themselves but they certainly benefited from being in a school where those pupils were valued and included in everything. I think children absorb the attitudes of people they spend a lot of time with so I wanted a school with an ethos that fitted with our family values far more than I wanted one with exceptional SATs results.

Ofsted is just a game (ex teacher here).

I believe they’re in fact changing their system of one word assessments as far too much hangs on that one word ‘good’ ‘outstanding’ ‘unsatisfactory’ etc which is now deemed unfair and misleading for parents. About bloody time.

I opted for the good community school over the outstanding faith school or the outstanding community school further away. The good school was very open in its communications and doing activities in the community as well as partaking in lots of local events. They are a two form entry school and had much bigger grounds as well as more extra curriculars. Their SAT results weren't as good overall but they had lots of kids achieving greater depth. Their Key Stage 2 progress is also better.
Now I have kids there I know that the community school has more children with additional needs and a higher number of EHCPs compared to other schools. My daughter is autistic which we didn't know when she started school but they have been brilliant at supporting her and us and making sure she is able to participate in school life and achieve her best.

The faith school has very small premises and whilst it boasts about running amazing trips abroad and uses this on its social media and prospectus, these trips are limited to a few pupils and financially not accessible to all. My children are also from a mixed Ethnic non religious family and I wasn't prepared to lie or attend CoE services for years to get a place as it would have been a sham

I chose a ‘good’ school over an ‘outstanding’ one that was much nearer. Not regretted it.

I made the mistake of sending ds to an outstanding faith school. It was where he was horrifically bullied & the staff denied he was being bullied even when I showed them pictures of the handprints on his neck where another pupil tried to strangle him. It was also the school that when I went to give them a copy of his autism diagnosis the teacher threw it in the bin in front of me & denied there was anything wrong with him, the school refused to allow the Autism in Education come in to show them the changes they needed to make to allow him to learn & refused to fund the educational psychologist recommended in the report. You have dodged a bullet.

"I don't know that I agree really. Kids without SEN are absorbing messages about the support and inclusion of those with SEN. I think a supportive environment for those who need it most is valuable for the whole school tbh"

@NamelessNancy so true, well said. This particular child was being kept separate from the rest of the class. I understand this may have been for the benefit of the child, but by contrast I saw SEN children amongst the class/their friends and still receiving support at the school we picked.

YANBU.

’Outstanding’ is an overrated term, mostly to do with how well the school is with paperwork. Good schools are perfectly fine.

No way would I send my kids to faith schools either.

I am in the middle of two primary schools. One to the left of our house, one the right both around 1mi away.

One was outstanding and one good. I felt the outstanding rating was from so long ago it wasn’t worth considering, the other school was rated good.

Fast forward to my DS starting and the outstanding school went into special measures as it was finally reassessed. It’s been through 3 headteachers since too.
All sounds a mess.

Glad I stuck to my instinct.

When I applied for my elder DDs Secondary place, there was one school that everyone raved about. It was lottery entry, and nearly everybody seemed to want to try.
DH and I hated it. We couldn't really explain it... it just seemed off.

Since then... its been downgraded by ofsted. Staff are leaving. Now GCSE results are being published again... the results are frankly shocking (the Progress score was less than -1).

I don't know anyone who applied in DD2s year.

Sometimes... you need to trust your gut.

You pick the school that is right for your child. Well done for sticking to your instincts OP.

I went down a different path for my DD too, she is thriving.

You did the right thing. I avoided the outstanding school in my town too. It was too pushy and totally wrong for my dd. Been over 18 years since was assessed. Huge bullying problem I heard from other mums. Choose the school that's right for your child

Outstanding schools are often not outstanding in my experience as a) they have been inspected over a decade ago or b) their focus is on filling out all the paperwork and making sure everything is ‘correct’ for Ofsted.

I had to pull my son out of an ‘outstanding’ nursery school due to poor care and awful communication. They were then inspected shortly after I left and given Outstanding again! According to the Ofsted report ever child with SEN has a detailed SEN plan - except mine never did! There are a number of complaint about children being left to cry or left in dirty nappies, etc online.

I’m very much of the “send DD to the most academic place available” mould. BUT if I saw harsh treatment of a SEN child I would absolutely not be sending my DD to that school.

Academics is important but a nurturing positive environment is also important, I want her to excel academically but I also want to drop her off in the morning to somewhere I’m confident she will be treated kindly. Push comes to shove I’d choose slightly less academic but happy place.

Go with your gut :) My DC are a bit older now (YR 12 and YR 6). My youngest didn't get into the same (outstanding) primary and I was really upset. She was allocated a primary that was "good" (it was my last choice) but in previous years had quite a lousy reputation. I'd not had a chance to go the the open day because of my shift times. At first I was really upset but thought I would give it a year. I'm so glad I did: it's a lovely school. Inclusive, small and the teachers/head are wonderful. She has thrived in that school. I don't doubt she would have thrived at the primary my eldest went to, but I love the school she's at.

We chose a "requires improvement" school over an outstanding when my oldest entered reception. That school has had loads of investment now in training and support, and was Good at the last Ofsted. We have regretted our choice.

Another one here who chose the good not the outstanding school, partly because of religion. I hated the feel of the religious school and didn't want my kids doing prayers at lunchtime and having quotes from the Bible on the walls etc. A lot of non religious people don't seem bothered by that but it bothered me. We were happy with the school we chose.

I think your DC will be fine .they make new friends,and even if you
Had chosen the OS school, would not always be with his friends from Nursery.

Smoke and mirrors

I worked at an Outstanding school. No way any child of mine would have gone there.

Right call

school near us is outstanding but the reality is if it doesn’t count towards getting outstanding they have zero interest in it

it’s pressured and driven to this outstanding status not the kids needs