Do you know why you are struggling

[Georginana]

I really hope this doesn't come across in the wrong way and people can understand I'm coming from a place of genuinely wanting to know.
Yesterday at work I mentioned about a holiday, someone told me I come across very out of touch.

Now I'm not well off by any means. I'm a GP receptionist, I only work 2 days a week (admittedly 10 hour days). We are mortgage free. My husband is a painted and decorator. He works for a company as he doesn't like the bookkeeping side and makes about £33,000 a year, I make £13000. We sold our family home for £220,000 2 years ago and bought a smaller home for £140,000. We live in a very cheap area, but the village we are in is lovely.

The only person who I any real understanding of the finances of is my son. He has 3 children, lives in a HA home. He makes £34,000 a year, his partner makes £10,000 and they get some benefits. They aren't struggling, they go on holidays, don't scrimp on food and their children are always dressed in new expensive clothes. However they have no debt and don't drink. I provide childcare on my 3 days I don't work.

This has me wondering, I know a lot of people are struggling but what is the biggest clincher? Is it rent? Mortgage rates going up? Fuel? Debt? Childcare? Living in an expensive area?

For example. I know a family it's 3 children who probably make similar to my son, but they always seem to be struggling to get by.

What's the biggest clincher for you if you feel you're struggling? I'm really trying to educate myself as I've never been out of touch before in my life!

AIBU to wonder whats the biggest financial pressures people are facing?

That's the same as luck . The poster hasn't just been lucky she also worked hard more than being lucky

I think so too .

Just in case you really have no idea (sounds a bit 'I'm alright jack' to me!)
Mortgage 850
Groceries/general shopping 900
Car/fuel 100
4 x mobile phones 100
Council tax 125 ish
Loan/credit card 150
Gas/electric 250
Kids hobbies 150
= £2625
That doesn't include things like netflix, clothing for a family of four, bus fare to school (£20pw!), extras for the kids like birthday parties, trips out with friends etc.
Myself and my husband work damn hard in relatively low paid jobs, our outgoings feel huge to me.
What are your outgoings @Georginana ?

We are struggling because despite me earning quite a lot of money, we have a big mortgage and two lots of childcare to pay for. It hasn't always been like this and I hope one day it will get easier. We will never be mortgage free in our current house though unless we downsize or come into some money unexpectedly!

I think children are the biggest issue. I earn around £1,800 a month and don't have children. My former colleague who earned the same paid £1,400 a month for full-time childcare.

In my experience childcare cripples most people. In our group of friends everyone was relatively comfortable before they had children. We live in Yorkshire so house prices are reasonable and all bought houses in our twenties. Myself and DH have decent paying jobs but are lucky in that grandparents provide childcare everyday for us to work.
In our friends, childcare takes up the majority of one wage until the child is in school.

I think it might be a bit of an eye opener for you OP if you head over to Rightmove and have a look at the cost of rent and also the mortgage payments people are making. Fairly certain that's the biggest thing impacting most people.

I never discuss anything like this people at work because everyone gets offended by everything.
Also jealousy is not pretty, are you not entitled to a holiday?
Colleagues tell me they are off on holiday all the time, I'm genuinely pleased for them.
Sounds like someone is having a bad day. Work environments can be very bitchy at times. For all they know you may have saved up for this for the last 5 years.

Round me it's £80-100 a day for nursery so full time would be £2000 per month. For 3 days a week it would be £1200. That's an enormous expense to factor in!

Everything costs more
Rent
Mortgages
Food
Clothes
Days out
Eating out
Petrol
Childcare is eyewatering expensive.
Wages have not kept up. Interest rates have gone up.

That's why most are struggling.

I think being a single income household is probably high up on the agenda. I’m a single parent, my son has no contact with his Dad and I get no maintenance, I often think if only I had someone to split the rent and household bills in half with!

Childcare, yes you can potentially claim up to 85% depending on earnings but 15% of full-time childcare is still an awful lot of money, especially if you are on a low income.

Housing Association rent is much lower than Private Rent which can be crippling. Housing benefits even if you are entitled to the maximum can leave you needing to contribute quite a lot as the maximum local housing allowance often doesn’t come close to actual market rates.

Your son’s household income equates to £54,000 a year, many people, myself included (work full time in above NMW job) don’t even earn close to £25,000 a year meaning many 2 income household earn much less than your sons household and have childcare and high rent to pay in addition which your son is privileged not to have.

From a personal prospective debt is my biggest reason, but as a single parent with high private rent I would be far from flush without any debt and would still be unlikely to be able to afford holidays.

We have 2DC and another on the way. We earn a similar amount to your DS but slightly more so we aren't entitled to any benefits other than child benefit.

We are home owners, our monthly mortgage payment is quite small - about £600 a month - but probably still more than the rent your DS pays especially given he's almost certainly claiming something towards housing from UC by the sounds of it. So we have to pay our mortgage ourself plus the buildings insurance that a HA tenant doesn't need to pay, plus all repairs/maintenance work ourself. For example right now we have a problem with our electrics, we have already paid an electrician to come out twice but that hasnt fixed it and are now looking for another one and that will cost us even more money. In the meantime half the electrics in our kitchen don't work.

Our youngest DC goes to nursery 2 days a week whilst we are both at work as we have nobody available and willing to provide us with free childcare for them, unlike your DS. That costs around another £600 a month. And that's with the 2yr funded hours and tax free childcare.

After that it's the fact that our gas and electricity bills have doubled over the past few years, and likewise the huge increase in food costs too.

After all of that, I still wouldnt say we 'struggle'. We are still saving a small amount, and sometimes manage to make overpayments on the mortgage. We have a nice enough lifestyle - DC1 does two extra curricular activities, we can afford a budget UK holiday once a year, none of us ever want for clothes or shoes or food, anything essential, and we have some money for occasional leisure spending on meals out or soft play for the kids etc. But if anything changes in our financial positions, we would be in deep trouble, so it doesn't feel like a comfortable place to be mentally.

Mortgage and childcare for the majority of people I would say. Our mortgage + childcare is £4400 a month.

I think we are getting guilty about being OK and not having to worry about everyday purchases.
If not in sackcloth and eating the cheapest possible food - privileged.

Housing costs, food and utilities.
These take the majority of income and there's not much left after other bills such as phone, internet, insurance etc.

It's actually sickening how expensive is it live these days

How do they get universal credit on a joint wage of £44k?

One of their children is exempt from the two child rule, so they get the child element for all 3 children.

My mortgage is £1085 a month that I pay on my own.
My son needs tutors for school week for various reasons so that is £140 a week. I don't have childcare.
I'm paying for my other son to have driving lessons.
I owe about £20,000 because of house renovations. I have about £200 thousand pounds equity on my house but still owe £175 thousand on it. So I don't have any spare cash left to buy anything. Things are broken in my house and they just have to stay broken as I can't pay to replace them (broken beyond repair fences) It doesn't bother me as it's not forever and it's my choice to be paying for the things for my sons.
Mortgage free and no child care means you are going to be in a good financial position usually.

My mortgage is 2200 (3 bed semi in the south, nothing fancy), childcare (childminder 3.5 days a week) is 350-400 a month ish. That's about what your husband earns before tax.

Housing and childcare costs are the two main outgoings for people with younger children. It should be obvious that your son and his wife have lower housing costs (because they are in a HA property) and no childcare costs for their three children (because you provide childcare for three days a week) plus some benefits.

Imagine them paying a higher rent (£1,250 per month for a three bed house where I live) and say £70 per day nursery fees plus wraparound care for the older children (£20 per day each here), then bills and food. Even with benefits, they probably wouldn’t have as much disposable income as they have now.

I mean more how does anyone, not necessarily just him. If £34k is an average wage and the adults aren't disabled, why are they entitled to benefits?

Not saying it should be a race to the bottom, just I am on a similar wage to just him and I never conceived that I might be eligible. Why would I be when I am earning a middleish wage? It is a pretty poor reflection on society if average earners can't afford to live without support.

We don't struggle but we would on your salary, we take home 60k after tax/NI/Pension/Student loan.

We have an adult daughter at uni, we pay towards - her rents 1025 a month, she gets 800 bursary and we pay the top up, her mobile 50 a month and for all her other costs, so far shes had 320 in the last two weeks for food, travel to placement and socialising. A son whos hobby costs 180 a month, not including fuel to travel the country and pay to get in the games. Another high maintenance teenage daughter.

Having said that we are very fortunate that my mil did a couple of years of childcare and saved us alot of money for those few years. We bought our first house off family member who gifted the equity and this means we now have a low mortgage compared to income. I realise how lucky we are and now have no childcare costs as all older. Childcare is crippling and your son wouldn't necessarily get 85% of the costs on his income.

Your son doesn't need to worry about interest rates rising on his rent compared to a mortgage. He's not got childcare outgoings, he gets top ups of universal credit - which I'm surprised at on a 44k income (we weren't entitled with three children who were all born before the two rule came in) hel get over 200 a month child benefit. Obviously you're older mortgage free, no dependants etc. Peoples lives are just different.

Why am I struggling... It could be because I work 12 hour shifts for a company that is a joke to support my family or it could be any of the below ...

• My 5 year old is autistic and non verbal

• I need a double knee replacement which the NHS have told me they won't do until I'm 60 (I'm 28 currently) and it's £12'000 to get it done privately so I just spend every waking minute in pain and cry myself to sleep multiple nights a week from being in agony

• My rent is going up for the 3rd year in a row, it's impossible to save for a mortgage deposit these days so my family has no hope of ever owning our own home unless a close family member dies

• I have a health condition that there's no cure for so again, constant pain, constant surgeries, constant worry that I could leave my children without a mother

I think that covers it.

Only time i was struggling was when i had a partner got rid of him no more struggle.