10yr nearly 11yr at home by themselves

[SamHHM37]

I need to ask is a 10 nearly 11 ye old at home 2-3 days a week acceptable while I come home from work??

Yeah I absolutely would if the child seems ok with it and you could trust them on their own. I have and would with both of mine at the age .
I'm completely bewildered by people saying they wouldn't leave a 13 year old alone for a few hours. Even 11/12 I think that's a bit much. From secondary most kids get buses across cities in their own for school but it's too dangerous to be in their own home alone for a few hours?

Year 6 is absolutely fine to walk home from school and let themselves in an hour or two before parents get home from work. There is not a single Y6 child at our AS club, and wrap around childcare doesn't exist in secondary anyway.

I work with teenagers and see the result of parents not giving their kids enough independence, it does them no favours.

My 9 year old Y5 is fine alone for an hour between her getting home from school and me getting back from work the day I’m in the office and she isn’t at an after school club. Many kids in the 8-12 range will be fine alone but some won’t. Some would be fine even a year or two younger for short spells and some even a year or two older won’t be. I think you really have to look at your child and not just their age.

Things to consider before you let them be home alone would be:

Are they happy to be alone? If they are worried about things going wrong or frightened to be alone then it’s not going to be a good idea.

Are they generally sensible and do you feel confident they are highly unlikely to do something crazy/dangerous left to themselves?

Do they understand and will they be likely to follow basic rules - no friends over, no answering door, no using hob/kettle, no going out or whatever else you feel is needed based on their current ability to manage problems that arise.

Are they aware of how to manage minor issues? As examples my two know things like how to clean up broken glass safely, what you have to do if you have a cut/burn, how to turn off the water supply, where the fuses are/how to reset them if a light bulb going flips them off (& where the torch is kept)

Do they know what to do if there was a fire or they were hurt?

Do they have a way to contact you if they need to check something?

Do you have friends/family very close by they know who they could ask for help if needed or they managed to lock themselves out/similar?

Have they already had short periods alone at home/resolved some problems like managing a breakage/spill with supervision and are they confident managing in those situations?

There's no such government guidance.

13+

OMG.

This child will be at secondary school next term. If they're allowed and able to get themselves home from school on their own, then I fail to see how it is a problem for them to be at home alone for a couple of hours.

Only you know if your kid is daft enough to set the house on fire or leave the door wide open or whatever, but IMO if you trust them to get home alone, then you should trust them to stay home alone until you're back from work.

To be honest, if my NT 11 year old couldn't make himself beans on toast without setting the house on fire, I'd consider myself a failed parent!

I was thinking the same thing!

When I was at uni, we thought we had the best student fire warden - he was a mature student who had worked as a firefighter. HE was the one who put his coffee in a pan to reheat and left it there when he went out to play rugby!

@lanthanum "When I was at uni, we thought we had the best student fire warden - he was a mature student who had worked as a firefighter"

So are you saying nobody should ever cook anything when home alone? Because that's the logical conclusion of your post!

Wrong. It depends on various factors.

Assuming you're talking an hour or two after school all should be good. But I wouldn't leave them home alone much beyond 6pm.
Because then they start to get hungry and lonely.

Secondary school in England is 11.

How long for? It depends on a lot of things. I would have left my daughter at that age for a few hours but not my son at the same age.

You know your child best. Make sure they contact you to say they are safe at home. Make sure there is someone near they can contact in an emergency. Sometimes my 11-year-old is alone for an hour, after a 40-minute walk home from school. Keys live on a lanyard clipped into her bag. She knows not to answer the door - I leave tea for her to heat up. She does her homework and watches TV.

DD1 is late Aug birthday so youngest in year so just 11 staring secondary and I had to leave for around 40-50 minutes because had to pick younger kids up from primary rather than work reasons.

Some people were odd about it but she was fine.

Next wobble was next child being home with DD1 as there had been some sibling arguments - but they learnt before then if they couldn't get on they lost privileges.

So depends on child and how long really.

Do they understand and will they be likely to follow basic rules - no friends over, no answering door, no using hob/kettle, no going out or whatever else you feel is needed based on their current ability to manage problems that arise.

This really and even DD1 threw a few curve balls though not the first year of doing it.

Length of time is crucial to opinions. A whole generation of 'latch key kids' were at home after school until their parents came home. A lot of them also happen to be in therapy, but correlation doesn't equal causation!

My DC is in Y6 and walks home from school, lets themself in and waits until DH arrives home about an hour later.
Got a phone, knows to lock themselves in once at home, can get a snack (crisps/fruit etc)
DC starts high school in September!

YANBU. Time to give them a bit of responsibility.

Must have been a whole lot more going on in someone's life for them to end up in therapy other than being a latch key kid!

Latch key kid was the norm up until about the 90s

Slightly surprised by the number of posters suggesting that 11 year olds shouldn't use the kitchen at all.

I used to let myself in from 11 and often would be left a list of dinner prep to crack on with.

My 7 year old can use a toaster..

It was the norm in the 90s too for many people. I used to love my couple of hours freedom after school before my parents came home!

And a new generation have the worst mental health of any generation of young people yet, despite being left alone less and less and given less and less responsibility to take care of themselves from an appropriate age. But as you say, correlation doesn’t equal causation.

@Mama2many73 which is why I clarified the age of 13. Thank you

More to the point how do they get home ? That’s prob more dangerous as speed perception v poor at this age on average.

but no , 10 going on 11 is different to 11 going on 12 and at high achool.

You think a 10 year old can’t walk home alone? Kids walk home alone from P2 here.

It’s April. This child will be going to secondary school in 4.5 months time. If they’re not already able to travel to and from school independently, now is the time to be learning to!