To wonder what is dangerous about my child’s lunch

[NameChangeAK]

I received a message from school today saying my child’s lunch contained a prohibited item and to please review the policy “as there are children with severe allergies and it’s dangerous not to comply”

I don’t usually provide packed lunches - DC has school meals, but they did like todays meal options.

Ive responded and asked what the item was but waiting for a response, but I’m confused - it’s clearly a nut free school but I can’t see anything else anywhere about other banned foods

the packed lunch contained:

• ham sandwich (with butter) on brown bread
• apple
• frube (strawberry flavour)
• carton of own brand apple juice
• Pepperami
• babybel

any ideas what could be the problem or Aibu to think they’ve mistaken the ham as peanut butter or something ridiculous?

They really needed to be clearer in their original message to you on this, it’s very odd to have decided that but not told parents properly!

I’d be going back to them to say that’s fine and thanks for elaborating but when will they be doing a full school communication because it’s really not clear from the policy or their original message to you what the issue was.

If they've had to inform 'many parents' I'd suggest to them they update their policy to make that clear!

My brother had a severe peanut and egg allergy.

It wasn't banned in school. I know this because I ate peanut butter and jam sandwiches in school.

It generally wasn't an issue because he knew not to go near those things and we couldn't eat out.

He was hospitalised at one stage - from eating out and not realising.

I do think the 'main allergy' thing can be counterproductive because people do think that allergies which aren't on the list of twelve aren't as serious though.

They can be. The list of twelve is the most common twelve. That's all.

I think you should tell them that they need to update their policy. Every parent needs to know and if you weren't aware, other parents will also be unaware.

FFS didn't she say the packed lunch was a one off anyway and they normally have school dinners. OP next time you do a pack up, you must do a home made healthy muffin , a boiled egg, water and some carrot sticks.. God forbid your child has a carcogenic ham sandwich and ultra processed tiny peice of babybel

That's some top level communication from the school 🥴.
Not being psychic, how do they expect parents to know not to send tube yoghurt in? There's no point sending a guessing game email.

A child has a severe dairy allergy and they didn't think to bloody shout it loud and clear to the parents?! Jeez!
I'd be absolutely furious if I was the parent of the allergy child because I'd want the world and his wife to know!

Good thing the OP asked, rather than ignoring it as so many posters suggested!

Alright Miss Perfect. The OP said it isn't a regular occurrence because her child usually has school dinners 🙄

I didn’t ask for opinions on the lunch but thanks anyway - I agree it was full of pre-packed food, because I was choosing DCs lunch option on the school app as we were leaving when we realised there was no option he would like (he’s normally okay with school meals but, unusually 2 of the options were beef which he doesn’t eat due to religious reasons, the third option was ‘veggie noodles’ which sound fine but DC said they were awful last time and he didn’t eat them so I agreed to packed lunch with 2 mins to leave.

hence a quick ham sandwich and grabbing a few packaged things from the fridge. humous had no time to start cooking eggs, chopping veggies and decanting Greek yoghurt/humous from larger tubs, sorry for those who are appalled! In hindsight I could have stuck a whole carrot in!

If the school sent a letter home "disapproving" of any UPFs in lunch boxes they'd be sending it to 95% of parents!

Honestly, OP. I can't believe you don't get up at 5 in the morning and bake your own bread, then milk your own almond plant.

A FRUBE?! God forbid, you might as well just be sending her in with marijuana!

Are you feeling the Mum shame? Are you feeling it? You TERRIBLE MOTHER, you! 😂

@NameChangeAK glad you got an answer. Hopefully they might actually inform the rest of the parents.
Those tube yoghurts can be messy and get everywhere. I speak from experience of having one last night and it felt like most of it ended up in my hair 😂

Having children and grandchildren with allergies and severe food intolerances I can understand the school being vigilant, as they should be. I wouldn't be upset by this, they are just doing their job even if they have made a mistake in either lunch content or person. If you contact the school I am sure that they will be only too happy to help. As previously mentioned above it wouldn't be amiss to ask for an updated copy of their policy so that you have it for reference. Best Wishes.

Woo hoo!! Do I get a prize for guessing the Frube and because of it's squitiness?!

On a tangent (apologies OP), while I'm aware of what processed food is, I'm not really on board with the new UPF concept. What's the difference between Babybel and Gruyère? (See how I used the accent preens self.) I'm fairly sure a lot of Gruyère available isn't made from raw milk.

(Also, that age old question: why Babybel? Is there a larger bel?)

Do you honestly think that half a day and 7 pages later there were no further development worth reading before posting?

Maybe yes, given you've missed the part directly in the OP that she has indeed asked the school for more details.

I would complain about their poor communicating and raise it with the safeguarding governor.

Without a crystal ball how were you supposed to know! Other parents have clearly also been unaware

The schools policy needs to be improved or implemented better.

(I'm chair of governors at a school with several anaphylaxis pupils and protocols are very clear)

I know this won't be a popular view but surely it would be easier and better for everyone if the children with allergies ate in a separate room? I know someone will jump in and say why shouldn't they be allowed to eat with their friends but they would make friends with the other children with allergies and it would be fairer on the rest of the school population. The whole thing is just out of control.

I'd guess possibly the apple juice carton has gone against the water only at lunchtimes rule. We've been caught out by that one before when the kids had packed lunches - but at least school specified what they wanted us to change from the packed lunch!

I know a couple of schools that have temporarily banned Frubes - but that's been because the older kids had figured out that you could open them, lie them on the table pointing at your mate, whack the end of it and bam.... nice yoghurt missile heading across the table. That's the tendency for year 6 to learn how to be utter sods though and nothing allergy related (and I would have totally done the same at that age)!

When I was in school, the kids with allergies all sat together. I think they all had a nut allergy. So it does make sense.

What's the difference? Snobbery ;)

2/3 cubes of gruyere peak mumsnet lunchbox!

Well I think the lunch was fine. Weird about the frube, I hope butter is banned to then 🙄

I too had this email not saying what was wrong. When I asked they said it was a chocolate dip - however I read the labels and it was chocolate flavour and had the warning "may containing traces of nuts" from remote possibility if contamination in the factory. There was no nuts in it beyound the possibility of any food being contaminated in a factory.

I could not be bovered to explain so just avoid anything unless it's very obviously not a common allergen. Some days ds takes in tinned spaghetti hoops. Life gets busy.

We had a boy doing a trail day and everyone was requested not to eat any products with any nuts IN THE HOUSEHOLD for a week before his trail start. So I had to police my dh and teens if they ate from the Nutella jar or bought a snickers. It's bordering on impossible to ensure non of us ever ate a nut product for years if that child passed the trail. I have no idea how they would police that.

Omg the frube 😂. What a piss take op. You could equally have the same risk from just dropping a yoghurt pot.

I would honestly respond further by saying thanks, but if they email you again without specifying the item, you will not chase it up for further clarification. Idiots.

Schools just need to be clear on allergy policies, I don't think children should be sat in a different room away from friends because they have an allergy . Our school sends a weekly newsletter and every week it states clearly at the top that it is a nut free school, perhaps the school could include it in a newsletter that is more likely to be read.

Completely mad that if there is a dairy allergy in class no-one in class can bring dairy. Those with allergies aren't going to be able to control what people eat around them their whole life. I don't get the many suffering for the few at all. And yes, it's unkind to the allergy sufferer but it's also madness to let that one person's health issue affect 29 others.