To wonder what is dangerous about my child’s lunch

[NameChangeAK]

I received a message from school today saying my child’s lunch contained a prohibited item and to please review the policy “as there are children with severe allergies and it’s dangerous not to comply”

I don’t usually provide packed lunches - DC has school meals, but they did like todays meal options.

Ive responded and asked what the item was but waiting for a response, but I’m confused - it’s clearly a nut free school but I can’t see anything else anywhere about other banned foods

the packed lunch contained:

• ham sandwich (with butter) on brown bread
• apple
• frube (strawberry flavour)
• carton of own brand apple juice
• Pepperami
• babybel

any ideas what could be the problem or Aibu to think they’ve mistaken the ham as peanut butter or something ridiculous?

I don't necessarily disagree. 5yrs ago a kid died cos another child threw a cheese slice at his face, didn't even go in his mouth. When you're at that level of allergy... I dunno.. I'd want my kid in another room

@DyslexicPoster butter on a sandwich is not likely to squirt across the table unlike a frube. When I was a parent volunteer at a school I hated those things. Many children couldn’t open them and would ask me. They could end up everywhere

@Caerulea there might not be enough staff to separate out children

Slightly off topic.
I honestly don't remember any children at primary with allergies. ( went to a double intake school, so big) It seems so prevalent now.

I do wonder if all the late weening has caused it. I'm 50 and my mum said everyone was weaned at 12 weeks, back in the day. I know they have changed the advice on introducing nuts (to do it earlier) Something must be causing this.

@crumblingschools Your name explains it perfectly

Frubes are now banned at DDs school simply because of the mess.

They have two lunch sittings. Tables need to be cleaned between them. And then cleaned and put away so the halls can be used after lunch. They don't have time to be cleaning up splatters of yoghurt from everywhere.

Plus they explode in lunch boxes, coating the child's own food in yoghurt...

It's not blanket dairy free, it's specific to the squirtiness of yoghurt in tubes which I think is reasonable enough as long as parents are actually informed of the policy, rather than having to guess wildly what it might be as per this thread.

They should just bloody say which item is the problem. A vague note wastes everyone's time chasing up to find out what they could have said in the first place.

That makes sense. But why on earth do they communicate this to parents after they've already sent something in, rather than sending a pre-emptive message round?

I (this won't delete for some reason)

It's not a popular policy among parents of DC with serious allergies as it's not inclusive but some schools do do this.

Most of the more sensible mitigations are possible. In this case, banning dairy products likely to squirt in unpredictable directions but allowing things like butter and cheese is sensible.

Terrible communication though!

To a PP, may contains are fine in nut free schools, lots of DC with allergies eat may contains!

No you can't single them out and that causes a false sense of security amongst the kids.

Very young 4/5 yos might not quite realise that their friends allergy are different to theirs so think it's 'safe' to share their nut free allergy safe cheese sandwich with a child with a dairy or wheat allergy.

No kids need to be taught to not eat anyone else lunch.

The vast majority of schools only ban things that contain actual nuts. And it's not actually that onerous to just not send in a Nutella sandwich and a pot of peanuts.

Hummus would be the issue in our school. Sesame is now allowed due to severe allergies.

The school is very very wrong to have not made a whole school announcement. FGS it would have taken less time than writing individually to parents.

We are in a nut and sesame-free school (so no hummus). They put out an announcement once a year or so and when one of the teachers was put in hospital after a kid brought peanuts in as a snack they put out another reminder.

God, that's awful, the poor boy 😥
As an allergy sufferer myself it fills me with dread reading that as some people are still so, so ignorant when it comes to allergies.
They "didn't know" he was allergic?!. Yeah, because that's a completely random thing to do, put a slice of cheese down the back of someone's neck 🙄🙄 😥
💔

I see it was confirmed it was the frube, which makes sense. DS's school has banned milk due to a severe allery.

No to derail the thread, but there is a bigger Bel as per attached pic- I've only ever seen them in France till last year, when I saw some for sale in Sainsburys.

The 'baby' bit doesn't refer to the size though- the ones we're used to are Mini Babybels, whereas the big one is just a Babybel. There is no Mummy or Daddy Bel.

Anyway, as you were!

Because they have different allergies, you’d need lots of rooms. The child with the nut allergy may well want to eat dairy, no good eating with the child with the dairy allergy.

I can see that it’s annoying, but segregating children for having differences is hardly going to foster acceptance and a sense of community.

Ah there you go then, that makes sense and mystery over!

They'll be singled out all their lives and it's the children themselves that need to understand they can't eat or be near foods they are allergic to. Eating in a separate safe room with others who are similarly affected is a logical solution which has the least impact on everyone.

Separating out the children with allergies is a terrible idea. First of all, children with allergies can face isolation from their peers anyway, why would you want to make that worse? Secondly, do you have a group for peanut allergy sufferers, dairy, wheat, etc. or do you expect the group en masse to be the only ones not to bring the allergens in?

Most allergies are not airborne but are contact/consume. My DS can sit beside someone eating a peanut butter sandwich and not react. The issue is that the child may get peanut butter on his hand and transfer it to the table, door handle, etc. DS can then pick it up from there.

I dont agree with food bans but would prefer educating children and parents. My DS was in primary school which had a nut ban when a classmate pulled out a peanut butter sandwich beside my DS. DS can smell peanut butter from a mile away and asked him if that is what it was. The boy when told that DS had a nut allergy offered not to eat it but DS said it was fine but asked if the boy would wash his hands afterwards. Boy said no problem.

I understand that if you dont have a child with a food allergy that you are unaware of the effect on the child and their family. Its honestly so draining worrying that your child will eat something that will kill them or that another person will eat a food around them that will kill them or land them in hospital.
The worry is constant. Just be thankful it isn't your child and have some compassion for those that have it.
If I was offered a choice of millions of pounds or for DS to be free of his allergy, there wouldn't be a seconds hesitation from me.

Also, that age old question: why Babybel? Is there a larger bel?

Back in the 80s in France at least there was a large version (might have been called Bonbel?). Me and dsis used to argue over who got to peel the wax.

As for the processed Vs upf thing I really don't know - my understanding is something is upf if it's made of things you wouldn't generally have access to in your own kitchen. For me that includes rennet!

I do agree that DC with allergies need to learn from the off that they can't eat like other kids and that they will need to be treated differently at times.

For the vast majority though there's no need to segregate them (especially as there are lots of different competing allergies). Sensible precautions like not sharing food, wiping down surfaces and washing hands will suffice.

It's much better to teach children how to manage their allergies with as little fuss as possible. I don't worry that my 6yo will eat peanuts. I do worry that one day she'll be a rebellious 14yo and head to Five Guys the second my back is turned.

Separating out the children with allergies is a terrible idea. First of all, children with allergies can face isolation from their peers anyway, why would you want to make that worse? Secondly, do you have a group for peanut allergy sufferers, dairy, wheat, etc. or do you expect the group en masse to be the only ones not to bring the allergens in?

It's no different to having separation for any number of other things, ability groups for maths, sen provision for children with learning disabilities etc, different teams for different sporting ability. My child has a learning disability. It means he has to be in a different classroom for various subjects. Its just life and something he has to get used to.

And your logic is flawed regarding the second point. You're arguing that a large group of thousands of children should have to comply with a rule around allergens rather than a small group of a dozen or so. Making everyone comply doesn't relieve the child in the allergen group of the burden so why make everyone comply when it is avoidable.

Could the brown bread contain nuts?