Sick and tired of inconsiderate neighbours

[Maria1234567]

Hi everyone. It's just scream out of my heart.. I can't understand why people can be so careless and selfish. Me, my husband and our little daughter always have been nice neighbours and never had any issues with other people. Basically since we moved to ground floor apartment our life became a hell. It was our first official place which we worked hard for to get mortgage and move in... Don't know where to start.. This building allow pets with written permission, but it is not soundproofed at all for this... Leasehold states that there should not be any disturbing, noise for other residents if you have cat or dog... But the reality is different. Basically our neighbours used to have dog and a cat, it was a big issue for us, as we have little child, who goes to sleep early and pets running for hours above us it's just mad even if you don't have children ... We were talking nicely to our neighbours and tried to soundproof, paid for installing carpets in their flat and it became more or less tolerable... But sadly their puppy died and they decided to take another puppy, another kitten. I couldn't believe that they did it after knowing we can hear everything.... So 3 pets above us, waking us up in random hours nevermind heavy footsteps. The girl upstairs works in the police and doesn't seem to care less as they just don't care like no rules apply to her.. It's so awful the way people are.So called directors appointed by management company all have dogs themselves and live one above another and they are mother and daughter, and one of them is dog walker looking after our neighbours pets, so feels so corrupted. We felt unwanted for a long time till I accidentally talked to another neighbour who is also in shock how management company runs this place as she had to live under two bulldogs from top floor, and she had to change bedroom and she is on her 80s!!had to throw ball to ceiling to get some peace ... We had to do that too, when after 3 hours our neighbours completely ruined our Saturday evening and had a cheak to bang back..... I love dogs and cats, but could never behave like that knowing that I can upset people downstairs. They allow pets to play for hours... I'm so frustrated
. And yes we are moving because of it.
I guess I just want support

Unfortunately not everyone can live on the ground floor…

They said to us, that they can't hear much at all. Unless my daughter did a tantrum which is for 2 minutes maximum and it's soooooo rare at this age now. We don't run on their ceiling, so they can't hear us or our appliances. You can't hear airborne noise in this building. Only impact. After 8pm are very quiet as our daughter is asleep and our tv is maximum on 10 volume.

Yes, but people can be more conciderate, not throwing ball, not let pets run nonstop for hours, but take them for a walk. Not to have 3 pets in small flat!!

At 5 years old I fell asleep in the middle of a disco. They used to advise parents to hoover round a sleeping baby to get them used to sleeping with household noise.

if you can hear that much then they’ll be hearing your baby cry and waking in the night. It really is give and take in flats.

Footsteps above are a bit annoying but normal household noise in a flat. Do dogs really charge about all the time? Mine just sleeps in different locations. I’ve many friends with dogs and I’ve never sat there with a dog running all over the place. Even cats, after a bit of a run around will stretch out and sleep most of the day.

She cries to the level when they can hear very rarely, and even then they said to us, they can't hear much of that type of noise
If she cries, it's never for hours like what they do to us, we try to calm her within two minutes, it's not at night aswell. It's not comparable at all, because it's 0.0001% from what we hear every single day for the last two years

Wow, you clearly have the world’s most considerate baby. My dd1 had colic and screamed for hours - neighbours in the terraced row also were adamant they never heard her. It’s the polite thing people say. I could also hear next doors 2 Labradors running up and down the stairs a few times a day. Normal household noise. The previous owner had an 8yo dd and she used to sound like an elephant coming down the stairs. I’m still not sure how. Never mentioned it to neighbours.

Op I think some of the comments here are a bit unfair, I have a cat and when he jumps down off the bed upstairs I swear it sounds like he's about to put the ceiling through

I sympathise to an extent op. I’m on a ground floor flat and I hear everything with my neighbours upstairs, I also have inconsiderate noisy neighbours constantly in the hallway but that’s another story. But at the same time, you chose to live in a flat and noise is a part of apartment life. It would be different if they were waking you up at 4 in the morning having an argument at the top of their lungs. But they’re just living normal family life. I can hear my upstairs neighbours conversations and when they flush their toilet - thats just flats for you. Just like their pets walking around, I think you’re being unreasonable to think they should do anything different when they’re just being normal neighbours

I understand what you say, we put white noise machine for our daughter every day and for ourselves now too, otherwise it's unbearable. My daughter doesn't cry at night, we passed this stage, and she was sleeping with us and still is sometimes, so she doesn't cry at night, also airborne noise like crying or barking is not bad in this building, therefore it's not an issue and they told us that themselves. We don't disturb anyone, because we are quiet 99% of the time, if my daughter does tantrum it's more likely at the time when they are at work and she calms quickly anyway and bad tantrums happen rarely now!! Footsteps are also horrible, but I'm not even complaining about it. It's non stop loud running, it's like a torture really and affects mental health, your sanity and happiness being at home. And yes, their dog can play and do noises for hours, as they don't walk with him in the morning or evening, they are taking him for a wee around building. But fair enough they take him somewhere during the day, to their work or daycare I don't know. But we never see them walking for 20 minutes at least in the morning, so he runs above us instead first thing in the morning!!

Thank you so much. I'm here for support and understanding, not questioning what we hear. Because God knows I'm being honest. I don't have a wish to badmouth people and I'm nice positive girl, who just trying to understand some people decisions 🙏🙏❤️

That's the thing. I never even mentioned here that we also have people banging doors on our floor hallway at early hours, so that's exactly what we are tolerating with and apartment living, that's all understandable too as part of living in flat. Although it's possible to close doors quieter. But as you say it's another story. We also hear loads of other noises, like toilet flush very loudly etc

our neighbours upstairs do wake us up occasionally with running pets upstairs at 4am. How is it better than hearing argument at 4? And running paws it's just like a torture and believe me or not it's very loud in this building

We tried diy soundproofing + carpet, didn't help much, so we are moving now. But thank you for the link🙏

She is not a baby anymore, she is nearly 4!!!!!and we had all the tears while living in somewhere else, and I always were very conscious about any noise she was making. What you describe I would never complain too, it's normal. But what we have is different, every single day and night above you, like a torture!!! People just don't get it. I would never complain if it was reasonable noise like a baby crying!!!!! But to live like you don't care is just wrong. And we feel so when they throw the ball across the flat and taking two extra pets after we paid for their carpets!!

No 😊 although I don't know new dog's name

I'm normal parent, please don't judge, I came here for support. I guess it's hard for people to understand what I mean without living in the same situation. I'm not complaining for the sake of it, not enjoying it. I'm light and happy person, unfortunately moved in this flat. And I am not one of those people who complains about everything. In fact I was living in all sorts of places and never complained. So it must be reasonable even if it's hard to believe

Oh my sweet summer child. If you can here them, they can here you. I've been the above neighbor, children's voices and noice absolutely carries. You really can't expect their pets to not walk. This is just communal living life.

You don't come to AIBU for support. That's why you have friends. It's literally in the name asking if your being unreasonable. Don't bother asking if you don't want to hear the answers.

You clearly don't understand, as I meantioned before they said themselves that they can't hear much, aswell as we can't hear barking loudly. Impact noise is our issue and it's different type of noise. I would choose to hear voices rather than constant knocking on our ceiling, we are below them, so of course we don't disturb them because we are not running on the ceiling.

Sorry I chose wrong thread then, I'm not as experienced in mumsnet

OP

I have a lot of experience in this. Too tired to cover all. I haven't heard of cat/dog walking/jumping generated noise before, I should note.

I have also personally been subject to horrendous noise 24 hours which required 'consideration' and limiting human movements to day time. so, I am not sure how animal movement can be limited/restricted as they are animals.

can I just say: What exactly would YOU do, if you lived upstairs, with a baby that cried 12 hours a day as some babies Cry?

I guess you would say, we cannot compare a baby to pets and pets can be reduced in numbers.

Your only solution, seem to want pets to be fewer than 3. I just find this unreasonable as it sounds like you want to restrict neighbour in what they can or cannot have in their lives and in their homes. Also, will you really say if the pets are 2, then you will live peacefully? You just sound controlling.

Another request you suggest is to take dogs out to give you space. Again, on what basis?

You bought Carpet for them. Why? Are they pooR? And yet they or you still left ut the hallway where the pets run. Maybe you want to carpet the hall way too so you live blissfully?

Look, with noise, unless the person complaining is also showing understanding and an attitude of give and take, it just looks one sided and controlling.

Forexample, one of my bedrooms (in my Central London flat) is directly above entrance. At *;15 I hear scooters, prams and door self closing...same at 3pm when the little darlings finish school; and throughout the day. But pp are free to come and go 24/7 so I have said nothing. I feel lucky that by 8pm it is all quite again at the entrance until 7/730 or 8am. I sleep early too.

People who live in upstairs flats have special training in walking about almost constantly, or at least that’s how it seems.

one bedroom, directly 'below' building entrance.... so I hear it all, directly above me.

Many thanks for your vision and I understand maybe I sounded not clear enough for people to understand. We are tolerating with large amount of noise from them. I am not controlling, and I understand that pets are family members. But they took extra ones after knowing how noisy it is for people. It's just something I would never do myself till I can move. Yes I would not compare children, but I put myself in neighbours shoes and imagined my daughter running above them. Knowing how loud it is, I would be setting rules for my daughter and certainly no ball games etc, I would try to find compromise, which would be easier as my daughter asleep after 8 pm. If it was crying baby it would be less issue, as it's not impact noise. And not forever. Being mum myself I understand it. What I can't understand, that if you decide to have dog + 2 cats in such flat you have to think of others and limit unnecessary noise, noise you can avoid by being thoughtful. Make sure to take dog for proper walks in the morning and evening, not just for a wee outside building and then back to flat where dog running full of energy. Certainly I would not throw balls to pets in evening and make sure my pets don't wake people at night. What you described we also lived in such places it's not the same. And you say you have peace after 8pm and before 8am. Well, we don't!!

Yes, we lived next to lift entrance doors too in old centenary mill building and our bedroom window was inside the building next to this lift, where people were coming back from nights out etc. It's still wasn't as bad as wghay we hear now. Also we paid for their carpets because they wouldn't agree otherwise and because we wanted to nicely resolve everything

Thank you for this.

I didn’t understand ‘balls’. So this person is throwing balls to pets inside the flat? You are right, the lease doesn’t allow that.

so you say dogs don’t get taken out for a walk daily except to pee? Well, the dogs should be taken for walk daily.

so why did you by the carpet? You seem to have enabled the behaviour.

so you would be happy with all that, as long as the pets are fewer than 3? As I pointed out, you don’t seem able to focus on the real issues, which probably reflects the depth (or lack of) of your interactions with your neighbours . Yes, clear and good communication is gold dust, if it is possible.