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AIBU?

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Original poster

No contact since his night out

121 replies

Poppy1997 · 22/04/2024 10:44

I’ve been seeing a guy for a few months and all was going well. He went out Saturday night and I haven’t heard from him since about midnight Sunday morning. Texts are unread and I’ve tried calling to see if he’s ok but nothing. He went out with an old friend who is going through a nasty breakup with a ex who is being nasty so he went to support her. Since then I haven’t heard from him. I’m also worried as a few weeks ago he was out and had a funny turn/black out/possible absence kind of seizure and was booked in for a brain scan. I’m really concerned something has happened to him or wether he’s gone off with the woman he was out with and is ghosting me. What would you do?

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 22/04/2024 19:52

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 22/04/2024 16:11

When you see him next I'd be asking for details of who he stayed with , then I'd tell him how suspicious it looks when he was out drinking with a woman - I'd ask if he'd be happy to show me anything on his phone that confirms he stayed at the other friends - I'd want to check to see if there really was no battery. If he is innocent he should be desperate to find a way to prove to you he had no battery - if he is awful and angry with your suggestion then he's guilty

And then you can ask him where he keeps his rabbit and his kettle and take it from there

OlympicProcrastinator · 22/04/2024 19:52

Poppy1997 · 22/04/2024 10:50

The woman he went out with he said they’d reconnected and that he was just supporting her through a hard time

Ofgs come on OP don’t be naive..

Bulkypeepants · 22/04/2024 19:57

Yep, all of the above. If you're getting bad vibes and just end it now.

sweatervest · 22/04/2024 20:00

i like to think i'm a supersleuth but i am NOTHING on you guys.

it's literally like being in court. he starts off as innocent .... and then the prosecution sweeps in and ruins him.
this thread makes 24 hours in police custody look amateur.
i wish i had a third hand so that i could literally salute this thread as i'm typing.

BigFatLiar · 22/04/2024 20:00

You either trust him or you don't.

If you want to move on because you think he's been with another woman that's fine. If he has your better of without him if he hasn't he's better of without you.

I suspect if being out of touch for a day or two is too much for you he may be better off without you anyway.

BirthdayRainbow · 22/04/2024 20:01

Poppy1997 · 22/04/2024 15:09

I would have gone out but he didn’t ask me and then he was basically texting on the night out saying it would be good if I was there. He only told me who is with once on the night out but they’d definitely gone together. I don’t believe him at all no

Yep. Cover story. So innocent you could have been here..

Branleuse · 22/04/2024 20:01

I'm sure he was extremely supportive to her

Bear65 · 22/04/2024 20:02

GreyCarpet · 22/04/2024 18:11

Unexpectedlysinglemum

I agree. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks they would do in any given situation, the reality when it's you who is initially and it's your life that will he impacted is so much harder.

Personally, that's part of the reason why nowadays I wouldn't give someone the chance to explain. Its too easy to go into a conversation being certain of your position and what you to say only to be blindsided and manipulated into accepting their excuses. You walk away feeling reassured but 20 mins later, you realise you're still certain of your position and then its souch harder 🙄

Good luck, whatever you do, OP.

Yes to this 👆and I am sorry OP you are going through with this. It's such a horrible feeling. Listen to your gut, nine out of ten times its spot on. Take care

Otherstories2002 · 22/04/2024 20:20

BaconMassive · 22/04/2024 15:58

Thumbs up is the only acceptable response here.

Then nothing.

Why even do that?

BlondeFool · 22/04/2024 20:30

So he spent Saturday and Sunday nights with her....no contact until today. Totally unacceptable. I'd block.

Sorry. It must be so upsetting.

itsmylife7 · 22/04/2024 20:39

Poppy1997 · 22/04/2024 14:49

Thanks everyone. I’ve actually just heard back from him

’ sorry for not getting back to you, I stayed at another mates house all day yesterday and my phone had no battery’

Yes, of course did.!

BigFatLiar · 22/04/2024 21:16

BlondeFool · 22/04/2024 20:30

So he spent Saturday and Sunday nights with her....no contact until today. Totally unacceptable. I'd block.

Sorry. It must be so upsetting.

He says he spent it with another friend. If she doesn't believe him then it doesn't matter whether he did or he didn't. We're not in a position to know. But we do know that on MN every woman with a male friend is desperate to shag them.

Everyone who stops out unexpectedly is obviously shagging and not just recovering from a hangover at a mates.

BigFatLiar · 22/04/2024 21:18

tuvamoodyson · 22/04/2024 18:35

So, what does his friend do when his phone runs out of battery seeing as how he doesn’t have a charger?

Indeed he could have plugged his Samsung into his friends iPhone charger.

How do we know.

BlondeFool · 22/04/2024 22:42

@BigFatLiar 2 nights and he didn't contact her until Monday lunchtime. I have loads of male friends which are totally platonic but I wouldn't go out drinking on a Saturday night and not contact my boyfriend until Monday lunchtime. Corner shops sell chargers so it all seems suss to me.

sammyjoanne · 23/04/2024 00:22

If he was at his mates house and didnt have a charger, then surely he could have used his mates phone or computer ipad, logged in and contacted you another way, like messenger, snapchat etc. It does seem a bit sussed to me. I agree with the thumbs up answer and then not reply after that.

Kellogg1 · 23/04/2024 02:49

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 22/04/2024 16:11

When you see him next I'd be asking for details of who he stayed with , then I'd tell him how suspicious it looks when he was out drinking with a woman - I'd ask if he'd be happy to show me anything on his phone that confirms he stayed at the other friends - I'd want to check to see if there really was no battery. If he is innocent he should be desperate to find a way to prove to you he had no battery - if he is awful and angry with your suggestion then he's guilty

Why waste your breath when the answer is so obvious

BelindaOkra · 23/04/2024 03:05

Poppy1997 · 22/04/2024 15:56

Not feeling too good tbh. I’ve not replied but read it and he’s saying he wishes he hadn’t stayed out at his mates as he had a lot to do that he hasn’t got done

Were messages unread or undelivered. I always knew when one particular friend was unwell because texts were undelivered (therefore phone not charged/off). Unread is something else.

But agree, thumbs up the best response.

Thevelvelletes · 23/04/2024 04:10

Branleuse · 22/04/2024 20:01

I'm sure he was extremely supportive to her

With his knob .

Bournetilly · 23/04/2024 04:12

I wouldn’t speak to him again now, he will only get worse.

YoureALizardHarry11 · 23/04/2024 04:30

If you’ve phoned him and it connects then he’s alive and ignoring you because his phone would be dead by now if anything bad happened. If it connects he’s obviously charged it and is probably ignoring you. If so, he’ll be back in days/weeks/months with some bullshit story. Don’t chase, they nearly always return like boomerangs in this day and age 😂

Ohlookwhoitis · 23/04/2024 14:38

BigFatLiar · 22/04/2024 21:16

He says he spent it with another friend. If she doesn't believe him then it doesn't matter whether he did or he didn't. We're not in a position to know. But we do know that on MN every woman with a male friend is desperate to shag them.

Everyone who stops out unexpectedly is obviously shagging and not just recovering from a hangover at a mates.

Show quote history

It's mind blowing how much shit people put up with. If you would believe the no charger bullshit, then more fool you.

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