Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No contact since his night out

121 replies

Poppy1997 · 22/04/2024 10:44

I’ve been seeing a guy for a few months and all was going well. He went out Saturday night and I haven’t heard from him since about midnight Sunday morning. Texts are unread and I’ve tried calling to see if he’s ok but nothing. He went out with an old friend who is going through a nasty breakup with a ex who is being nasty so he went to support her. Since then I haven’t heard from him. I’m also worried as a few weeks ago he was out and had a funny turn/black out/possible absence kind of seizure and was booked in for a brain scan. I’m really concerned something has happened to him or wether he’s gone off with the woman he was out with and is ghosting me. What would you do?

OP posts:
RetroTotty · 22/04/2024 16:50

BaconMassive · 22/04/2024 15:58

Thumbs up is the only acceptable response here.

Then nothing.

Agree with that

YukNo · 22/04/2024 16:55

He’s full of shit. I don’t believe he’s had blackouts either.

newyearnewknees · 22/04/2024 17:12

He is unbelievably rude, how dare he

wintersgold · 22/04/2024 17:20

He's a liar - I wouldn't bother replying, you deserve more respect than this OP and if you're not getting it from him it's time to walk away

Darby3785 · 22/04/2024 17:23

Hi OP

Drawing from my own experience I think the guy was busy entertaining this "friend" of his. It's not as if she's a long time friend or anything , the fact he's recently rreconnected with her should tell you what you need to know

I'd definitely send a thumbs up to his message too and get on with your life, leave him to console his friend! Don't let him carry on messing you about.

TeaGinandFags · 22/04/2024 17:47

Poppy1997 · 22/04/2024 15:09

I would have gone out but he didn’t ask me and then he was basically texting on the night out saying it would be good if I was there. He only told me who is with once on the night out but they’d definitely gone together. I don’t believe him at all no

He didn't want you there or you'd have been invited before he went.

He was out shagging and there was nothing wrong with his phone.

Reply or not as you please but make sure you go out without him. Let him sit and wait. It's the least you can do.

Hotirons · 22/04/2024 18:09

OP, some years ago I met a great guy online, we gelled perfectly. He was a gent. A week or 2 in he had a long drive one morning so we agreed I'd give him a call on my commute. I rang and few times but nothing. Later that morning I got a text from him but I knew before I opened it wasn't him texting. It was his ex wife, letting me know he'd had a massive stroke the night before. Catastrophic stroke.

GreyCarpet · 22/04/2024 18:11

Unexpectedlysinglemum

I agree. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks they would do in any given situation, the reality when it's you who is initially and it's your life that will he impacted is so much harder.

Personally, that's part of the reason why nowadays I wouldn't give someone the chance to explain. Its too easy to go into a conversation being certain of your position and what you to say only to be blindsided and manipulated into accepting their excuses. You walk away feeling reassured but 20 mins later, you realise you're still certain of your position and then its souch harder 🙄

Good luck, whatever you do, OP.

Conniebygaslight · 22/04/2024 18:13

The answer is always the most obvious one 👍

DrJoanAllenby · 22/04/2024 18:14

Poppy1997 · 22/04/2024 10:50

The woman he went out with he said they’d reconnected and that he was just supporting her through a hard time

Supporting her with his penis.

She reconnected with him to get even with her ex and he happily obliged.

DottyPencil · 22/04/2024 18:18

Even if this is what he says it is (it really isn't) then you'd be teaching him that he can treat you badly. I'd bin him. He's less than you deserve.

tuvamoodyson · 22/04/2024 18:35

So, what does his friend do when his phone runs out of battery seeing as how he doesn’t have a charger?

HelloLemonPie · 22/04/2024 18:40

How long have you been together op?

Hotirons · 22/04/2024 18:53

Conniebygaslight · 22/04/2024 18:13

The answer is always the most obvious one 👍

No it's not. Not "always"

2024istheyearforme · 22/04/2024 18:57

i smell BS.

RM2013 · 22/04/2024 18:58

I’m sorry OP I’m very much a believer of the quote “if they wanted to they would” no decent man with a genuine interest in you would have gone no contact and not bothered to try and charge his phone to message you.
walk away with your head held high

2024istheyearforme · 22/04/2024 18:59

I had a partner once support his friend through a breakup one friday night. On saturday he got to mine and i broke up with him, told him i could tell he slept with her. couldnt even deny it 😂 just started rambling on about how he didnt mean too it just happened .. pfft.

Happybirthdaytotheground · 22/04/2024 19:00

You say you’ve been seeing this guy for a few months, so I am taking that you are not serious?

He is showing you what he will be like in a relationship. On weekends when he wants to go out, he will ghost you, leaving you worried and wondered whether he is ok. Do you really want a relationship like that?

that is unless like others have suggested that he slept with his friend.

Either way, I’d do what PP suggests and reply with a thumbs up and then block. You’re worth more than this. Good luck @Poppy1997

SamW98 · 22/04/2024 19:02

Yep agree with sending him a 👍 and leaving it at that

Its pretty obvious what’s happened and he’s not even offering a convincing lie as a cover story.

Bin him off OP - he’s a liar and a cheat. Hes supported her alright, on the end of his cock

nervousweddingguest · 22/04/2024 19:27

ok i take it all back... he was very clearly fine and getting his end away. its not impossible, but i'd say that a vast majority of people have more than 1 type of phone charger tucked away in 'the drawer'. failing that, pretty much every corner shop and convenience store sells some kind of charger.

i would say he could have messaged you from his 'mates' phone but to be faitr i don't know my hubbies number so i'll give him that!

you have said i believe that you can see the messages have been delivered so i assume it still had enough charge for that!

i'm loathe to do so, but im going with everyone else now... you need to seriously look at your relationship

Thistooshallpass. · 22/04/2024 19:31

I have always found that when men screw up they go silent . They don't know what to do so do nothing .
Move on he is not worth the worry or headspace.

DeathNote11 · 22/04/2024 19:43

HOTD7383 · 22/04/2024 16:12

In this day and age what’s the likelihood that him or his ‘friend’ seriously didn’t have a charger to hand? I would bin him off for sure. People only treat you how you let them…

To be fair, you'd be stuffed in this house if you had an iPhone.

Worried8263839 · 22/04/2024 19:43

Poppy1997 · 22/04/2024 10:50

The woman he went out with he said they’d reconnected and that he was just supporting her through a hard time

Hmm this would have my alarm bells ringing tbh

BronwenTheBrave · 22/04/2024 19:44

He is shagging her.

Combattingthemoaners · 22/04/2024 19:50

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 22/04/2024 16:11

When you see him next I'd be asking for details of who he stayed with , then I'd tell him how suspicious it looks when he was out drinking with a woman - I'd ask if he'd be happy to show me anything on his phone that confirms he stayed at the other friends - I'd want to check to see if there really was no battery. If he is innocent he should be desperate to find a way to prove to you he had no battery - if he is awful and angry with your suggestion then he's guilty

Worst advice ever. Don’t do any of that. Trust your gut and don’t even bother replying to him, he’s full of shit.

Swipe left for the next trending thread