Page 3 | No contact since his night out

Poppy1997 · 2024-04-22T09:44:43+00:00

I’ve been seeing a guy for a few months and all was going well. He went out Saturday night and I haven’t heard from him since about midnight Sunday morning. Texts are unread and I’ve tried calling to see if he’s ok but nothing. He went out with an old friend who is going through a nasty breakup with a ex who is being nasty so he went to support her. Since then I haven’t heard from him. I’m also worried as a few weeks ago he was out and had a funny turn/black out/possible absence kind of seizure and was booked in for a brain scan. I’m really concerned something has happened to him or wether he’s gone off with the woman he was out with and is ghosting me. What would you do?

MillshakePickle · 22/04/2024 15:41

I agree with the others. There's no way he couldn't have charged it. He's definitely played away. Especially, if your msgs were delivered and his phone rang.

He also waited until mid day on a Monday which when people are tradionally busy with work. If you're busy, you won't be able to engage.

I would be seriously questioning what you'd be doing going forward

GreyCarpet · 22/04/2024 15:42

I wouldn't believe him either. Especially with him being cagey about who he was with in the first place.

TheShellBeach · 22/04/2024 15:44

He's lying. Everyone has spare chargers these days!

KittyCollar · 22/04/2024 15:44

vanillaclouds · 22/04/2024 10:59

By the time I'd been with dh a few months, he would not have been going out with another woman and ignoring me.
He would never have made it to husband if he had.
Find someone who respects you.

Absolutely this. I smell ze rat 🐀

fieldsofbutterflies · 22/04/2024 15:46

He's talking out of his arse.

OneThreadOnly · 22/04/2024 15:46

I don’t believe it for a second. If he was bothered he would have been in touch. Bin this one.

TheShellBeach · 22/04/2024 15:50

How are you feeling, OP?
I'd be furious with him for messing me about and lying.

Original poster

Poppy1997 · 22/04/2024 15:56

Not feeling too good tbh. I’ve not replied but read it and he’s saying he wishes he hadn’t stayed out at his mates as he had a lot to do that he hasn’t got done

OP posts:

BaconMassive · 22/04/2024 15:58

Thumbs up is the only acceptable response here.

Then nothing.

Pheasantsmate · 22/04/2024 16:00

Poppy1997 · 22/04/2024 15:56

Not feeling too good tbh. I’ve not replied but read it and he’s saying he wishes he hadn’t stayed out at his mates as he had a lot to do that he hasn’t got done

He didn’t respond to you for over a day. You don’t owe him any response to be honest, but you certainly don’t need to rush to it. Give yourself a wee bit of time and have a think. Take your time

GreyCarpet · 22/04/2024 16:00

BaconMassive · 22/04/2024 15:58

Thumbs up is the only acceptable response here.

Then nothing.

That's the best response you could give, tbh.

Whateveer · 22/04/2024 16:02

I wouldnt even respond tbh. He doesn't deserve a response.

MillshakePickle · 22/04/2024 16:03

I would just leave it. Does he think you're going to feel sorry for him?

I had a bf like this and I trusted him, believed him, until he ghosted me when he found someone else would put up with his shit. Every time I questioned it, I was made to feel like I was being unreasonable or paranoid.

Please don't do that to yourself. He'll gaslight the fuck out of you. Don't reply. I give it a couple of hours and he will calling you and panicking.

canyouletthedogoutplease · 22/04/2024 16:06

Poppy1997 · 22/04/2024 15:56

Not feeling too good tbh. I’ve not replied but read it and he’s saying he wishes he hadn’t stayed out at his mates as he had a lot to do that he hasn’t got done

A lot to do that didn't get done? I feel that he probably got enough done on Saturday night and Sunday, but he would rather not tell you about it.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 22/04/2024 16:11

When you see him next I'd be asking for details of who he stayed with , then I'd tell him how suspicious it looks when he was out drinking with a woman - I'd ask if he'd be happy to show me anything on his phone that confirms he stayed at the other friends - I'd want to check to see if there really was no battery. If he is innocent he should be desperate to find a way to prove to you he had no battery - if he is awful and angry with your suggestion then he's guilty

HOTD7383 · 22/04/2024 16:12

In this day and age what’s the likelihood that him or his ‘friend’ seriously didn’t have a charger to hand? I would bin him off for sure. People only treat you how you let them…

GreyCarpet · 22/04/2024 16:12

Whateveer · 22/04/2024 16:02

I wouldnt even respond tbh. He doesn't deserve a response.

No but I'd send the 👍🏻 because it communicates effectively that she knows he's talking shit.

And when you're actually in the situation the reality is harder than "dont reply."

eatsleepfarmrepeat · 22/04/2024 16:13

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 22/04/2024 16:11

When you see him next I'd be asking for details of who he stayed with , then I'd tell him how suspicious it looks when he was out drinking with a woman - I'd ask if he'd be happy to show me anything on his phone that confirms he stayed at the other friends - I'd want to check to see if there really was no battery. If he is innocent he should be desperate to find a way to prove to you he had no battery - if he is awful and angry with your suggestion then he's guilty

Don’t do this!

you should never see him again, he has no respect for you and that is the very least anyone deserves.

KittyCollar · 22/04/2024 16:14

BaconMassive · 22/04/2024 15:58

Thumbs up is the only acceptable response here.

Then nothing.

Yep and leave it at that

GreyCarpet · 22/04/2024 16:15

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 22/04/2024 16:11

When you see him next I'd be asking for details of who he stayed with , then I'd tell him how suspicious it looks when he was out drinking with a woman - I'd ask if he'd be happy to show me anything on his phone that confirms he stayed at the other friends - I'd want to check to see if there really was no battery. If he is innocent he should be desperate to find a way to prove to you he had no battery - if he is awful and angry with your suggestion then he's guilty

I wouldn't be seeing him again if I were the OP.

Even if his story about the battery were true, he's left her until mid Monday to get in touch after going out with another woman on Saturday night. He'll know how it looks. If he cared, he'd have felt quite anxious about making sure he was able to get in touch sooner. It's just a bit blasé.

A decent man wouldn't have let it happen.

Whateveer · 22/04/2024 16:16

GreyCarpet · 22/04/2024 16:12

No but I'd send the 👍🏻 because it communicates effectively that she knows he's talking shit.

And when you're actually in the situation the reality is harder than "dont reply."

Show quote history

Fair enough, I still wouldn't reply. He doesn't deserve any acknowledgement other than being blocked.

fieldsofbutterflies · 22/04/2024 16:17

BaconMassive · 22/04/2024 15:58

Thumbs up is the only acceptable response here.

Then nothing.

Definitely. He doesn't deserve any other response.

Fuckstix · 22/04/2024 16:18

Yeah give it as much thought as you need but I wouldn't be delving deeper personally. It's the fact he didn't wish to make the effort to be in touch etc, not that there is absolutely no other possible explanation than he slept with another woman. The plausible deniability makes it of dubious value to question. Think it through and go with your gut feeling. Thumbs up or formally draw a line ( if that's what you decide) but I wouldn't bother getting into a discussion. Too much scope to turn it around on you etc.

EauNeu · 22/04/2024 16:20

I'd just block him at this point. No response. Let him wonder what happend

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 22/04/2024 16:45

@GreyCarpet @eatsleepfarmrepeat I agree, it's harder to do when you're in the situation though so IF op wants to give him the benefit of the doubt then he will need to show evidence.

But you're both right