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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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16
Notsurewhatsgoingonhere · 19/04/2024 14:18

Bumpitybumper · 19/04/2024 11:47

Individuals should realise that they are responsible for themselves and they should take an active interest in their own health, education and wellbeing. The abdication of responsibility in the country is insane and laughable to those from countries that don't expect the government to step in every 5 minutes.

I wonder if there ever comes a time when people like you don't blame the government or capitalists? We have to wake up as a country and realise that we all can't be net takers and expect others (who?) to fund everything. A population will always have some disabled and vulnerable but with obesity and inactivity level shooting through the roof, we are hardly helping ourselves! The limited resources we have are going to be split far too many ways and this will ultimately only hurt those who need the resources most.

100%

comments on this thread are insane and society is nuts. People are morphing into the dependent blobs from Wall-E

Notsurewhatsgoingonhere · 19/04/2024 14:20

Bumpitybumper · 19/04/2024 13:01

Lifestyle related conditions now account for the majority of deaths and disabilities in the developed world. These are condition we have some control over. It isn't I'm a utopia where we can acknowledge this and seek to do what we can as individuals to stay well. Is it harder to do this with limited funds and time? Of course, but that doesn't mean that you should just give up and blame the government/capitalists/whoever else isn't you.

There will always be people that are disabled and unwell who were just genuinely unlucky. A civilised society should seek to support these people to a reasonable standard. This is made harder if there number is doubled by those developing preventable diseases and disabilities. It isn't rocket science to calculate that this will put pressure on any resources available.

Again this is 100% correct. But no one will agree with you because it involves a degree of accountability

Thesoundofscience · 19/04/2024 14:22

Thing is, they’ll do all this without offering any positive solutions alongside ie, extra funding for NHS & mental health, air filtration systems in schools & hospitals to prevent infection spread (they can obviously see the benefit of this as they quick sharp installed it in Westminster following Covid), providing a benefit system that’s based on common sense & helping people get out of the cycle ie not stripping their entire benefits for doing an extra two hours work a week. There is so much that they could do, yet like someone else said, they just punch down. Because they can.

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 19/04/2024 14:23

hellesbells · 19/04/2024 14:17

Some pensioners should be taxed more, but hey you keep bleating on with your whataboutery

"Some" - who those that have worked hard, not smoked, drank their money away and bought their own home and not be a burden on the hard pressed socicla housing?

Labour is, if you have a few quid saved and a pensioner then you are serious F;d

https://www.express.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/1889653/Pensioners-Labour-Party-Rachel-Reeves-inheritance-tax-national-insurance-capital-gains-tax

New pensioner tax threat as Labour demands they pay both NI and IHT on pensions

Shadow Chancellor Rachel Reeves is surrounding herself with advisers who have publicly called for the elderly to pay more tax to HMRC if the Labour Party wins the next general election.

https://www.express.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/1889653/Pensioners-Labour-Party-Rachel-Reeves-inheritance-tax-national-insurance-capital-gains-tax

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 19/04/2024 14:23

Notsurewhatsgoingonhere · 19/04/2024 14:20

Again this is 100% correct. But no one will agree with you because it involves a degree of accountability

I’m too unwell to exercise though. I’ve got severe long covid.

How do l take accountability for this? Just a normal person and I’ve been poleaxed by it. Can’t walk further than 10 steps after 9 months. If I push myself it gets worse.

OriginalUsername2 · 19/04/2024 14:26

“We’re also going to test shifting the responsibility for assessment from GPs and giving it to specialist work and health professionals”

What is he talking about. This already happens?

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 19/04/2024 14:27

Iwasafool · 19/04/2024 14:02

What tax breaks do pensioners get? I'm missing out obviously. I have 2 pensions, state pension and my work pension, just like everyone else I pay tax on all my income over £12,570 a year at 20%. I have savings in an ISA but that isn't age related. I pay VAT and council tax the same as anyone else. I suppose the only tax break I know about is I don't pay NI.

An 8% reduction in tax due to not paying NI is fairly sizeable though, isn't it? Until recently it was 12%.

I'm not a fan of pitting generations against each other, and I don't begrudge pensioners a penny of their pension, but they do pay less tax than working people do.

GoodnightAdeline · 19/04/2024 14:29

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 19/04/2024 14:23

"Some" - who those that have worked hard, not smoked, drank their money away and bought their own home and not be a burden on the hard pressed socicla housing?

Labour is, if you have a few quid saved and a pensioner then you are serious F;d

https://www.express.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/1889653/Pensioners-Labour-Party-Rachel-Reeves-inheritance-tax-national-insurance-capital-gains-tax

They haven’t worked any harder than people do now and a lot of their wealth is unearned via huge gains in property. Most of the wealthy elderly people I know love a drink, smoke, and all the rest of it. And in many cases the female in the couple had many years off to raise children, and only returned to work part time if at all.
I’m not knocking them, we all would’ve done the same in their position, but making out they’re inherently better people or saints is disingenuous.

Feelinggoodtuesday · 19/04/2024 14:31

Grrr, this is hot topic at work just now because we have a British contingent in our European office and it’s so demoralising. I tried to explain the notion of unpaid sick leave to colleagues and I get bemused expressions and “humans get sick, bills still need to be paid so insurances should pay a majority of your salary “.

Between Brexit, Lockdown parties, Liz Truss, a series of near monthly mini scandals, my heart goes to every average Brit just trying to do their best in the face of truly woeful politicians!

Alfreddoeblin · 19/04/2024 14:32

@Tracker1234 ah yes the self employed tradesmen who work cash in hand and massively underestimate their income. Know of several who rent out several houses, collect classic cars or very expensive sports hobby, holidays in Florida and yet claim to only earn £30k a year.

BrownTroutBlues · 19/04/2024 14:38

Megifer · 19/04/2024 10:07

It is true that some GPs are way too fit note happy, especially when it comes to stress.

There's a difference between actual mental health concerns and someone having a bit of a shit time that they can and need to get through to be able to face situations in the future.

I was offered a 2 week fit note recently when I'd said work was getting stressful. It was just busy, I'm perimenopausal so struggling a bit anyway, the answer wasn't to take me out the situation for 2 weeks because it would still be there when I got back. I refused and GP actually smirked and said that was a first (cant see that being true tbf).

Ive recently had someone in my team off for 4 weeks for work related stress allegedly triggered by them not getting a promotion. That's not stress that's just disappointment.

Agree along with @IClaudine s neighbour
The system is abused too much making the truly deserving suffer.
Theres only so much money and expertise out there and it needs to go to those that really need it.

BubblegumBlue24 · 19/04/2024 14:41

@MissMarplesNiece Yes, that smug face. Makes me physically gag every time I see him. So smarmy and pleased with himself.

He’s a lord now as well isn’t he 😕

AmethystSparkles · 19/04/2024 14:41

GoodnightAdeline · 19/04/2024 10:14

No doubt some people who were born yesterday will say ‘she’s probably fine and able to muck out horses one day and totally incapacitated the next’

Well actually my health is a lot like that. I can understand why you wouldn’t believe that because it’s confusing to me.

OriginalUsername2 · 19/04/2024 14:42

GoodnightAdeline · 19/04/2024 10:14

No doubt some people who were born yesterday will say ‘she’s probably fine and able to muck out horses one day and totally incapacitated the next’

This is literally how it is for some people. My DP is close to tears at every movement at some point in the day, every day. He still wants to pitch in with housework and will mow the lawn in the summer despite suffering for it later.

He doesn’t want to be chair bound all day watching TV and why should he? We tried that in lockdown and he was the most stiff and miserable he’d felt in years.

No employer exists that will let him wake up and see if his body works that day and let him clock in to work, or not. (This takes a good hour - just to see what’s happening in the body that day.

No business exists where this type of employee is worth having on their books.

This is something that will never be solved because there will always be liars and chancers in every sphere of life. Always have been, always will be. You can’t prove or disprove an invisible illness or mental illness without someone living alongside you to see the ins and outs of every day.

Bumpitybumper · 19/04/2024 14:42

Workworkandmoreworknow · 19/04/2024 14:04

There is prevailing narrative amongst the left and on this forum that all of the poor, disabled and ill are unfortunate victims of a broken system. The idea is that there almost an inevitability to it all, it's the system/government's fault and the individual has absolutely no responsibility or accountability. Any arguments to the contrary are shouted down as for some reason they prefer people to believe that they are completely disempowered. We are extremely fortunate to live in a country where there is opportunities available to almost everyone to look after and better themselves. Every child can access an education and we have relatively affordable, healthy food available to us on small budgets. There is so much peoplecando to help themselves and yet our focus is always deliberately pulled to what people can't do. Just to be clear, I fully acknowledge that it's not a level playing field and there are all kinds of structural inequalities in place but I think there is a narrative that the individual doesn't really have to try until things are completely fair (which will be never)

So if there's all kinds of structural inequalities in place, have you ever tried to get a job as a disabled person? What conditions have you lived with on a daily basis and can say, categorically, that every person with that condition will experience it in exactly the same way? You do realise that 'disabled' isn't a homogenous group? That even when 'disabled' puts someone at a disadvantage, everyone with a disability has started from a different point in the first place? That some will be educated, with the disability occurring later in life once a career has bene built, some pension built up in a scheme that gives a generous some for medical retirement.....or others will have had the disability from day one, with parents who struggled to manage it, who themselves struggled to navigate the joy that is social care, benefits, and more importantly rights....

I can tell you as the parent of a child with T1D and also a teacher that schools as a collective handle difference and medical need appallingly, engaging in discriminatory and illegal behaviour which you need half a brain, some experience, a bit of gumption and then some actual knowledge to be able to handle effectively. It is no surprise that for some, it is too much, too hard, and too complex. There are not only cracks, but huge gaping holes for both children and adults to just fall through. I personally expect my child to fight - to work hard, to do whatever it is he can to manage his difference and his condition so his future is as secure as it can be. And it is a fight. A huge one. And one he might not win.

I think you misunderstand my post. I don't think all disabled people are one homogenous group at all. That's is actually my point! Some people will become disabled or ill no matter what lifestyle choices they make, like your son with T1 diabetes.

The majority though will die or become disabled by lifestyle diseases or disabilities. They will have some influence over whether they develop these conditions however there is an observable link between deprivation, structural inequalities and these conditions. My argument is that whilst the left talks about this link with a sense of inevitability, I believe that it does a disservice to the individuals involved. Most people in this country are in a position to make choices that will improve their health and longevity but many feel that it's not their responsibility to do this. It is the government's job which of course is ridiculous, unhelpful and disempowering.

I am not denying more needs to be done regarding discrimination against disabled people and structural barriers, but we also must work on reducing the number of people that become disabled and ill in the first place so that the support and resources aren't diluted to the point where it's no real help to anyone.

IClaudine · 19/04/2024 14:42

My neighbour? I haven't said anything about my neighbour @BrownTroutBlues ?

I think you are mixing me up with someone else.

maddiemookins16mum · 19/04/2024 14:42

ComtesseDeSpair · 19/04/2024 10:48

I’ve read countless MN threads where “get your GP to sign you off sick with stress” is the stock answer to problems ranging from not getting on with colleagues, to a shift pattern which doesn’t work around childcare, to being about to be put on performance monitoring. I briefly worked for both the civil service and the NHS and “going on the sick” for weeks or months on end as a way of avoiding performance monitoring for underperforming colleagues or those with grievance investigations against them was rife. People were brazen about it. That’s true sicknote culture, and it’s a part of the overall worldview of why public services, in particular, are underperforming. Ignoring it and turning it into “the Tories just hate disabled people” is puerile.

Edited

I totally agree.

Bushmillsbabe · 19/04/2024 14:42

I heard a GP talk about this on the radio this morning. He seemed to be quite pro the policy, for positive reasons. Such as saving already stretched GP time from doing more form fillings they can see more patients, and helping those who can work, but just not in their current role due to a long term injury for example, back to work.

Some people seem to have confused sick notes with benefits though. This is about people who were working, but something has hapenned to their health to mean they no longer can do the job they were doing for a period of weeks or months. These are not people who have no interest in working, people with a lifelong disability (unless that disability was progressive), so any comments about benefits scroungers clearly haven't read this policy properly

BrownTroutBlues · 19/04/2024 14:43

Alfreddoeblin · 19/04/2024 14:32

@Tracker1234 ah yes the self employed tradesmen who work cash in hand and massively underestimate their income. Know of several who rent out several houses, collect classic cars or very expensive sports hobby, holidays in Florida and yet claim to only earn £30k a year.

The trick also of setting up multiple companies to offset tax
One whole company doing secretarial
One whole company for sweeping up
One whole company for ordering stuff

One person doing all jobs and claiming tax breaks on each company

Of friends we know
One has 53 companies, some in the Cayman Islands
One has 60 companies and his sons go straight on the books as ‘advisors’ when they’re still at school and not working for him at all.

One person should not be allowed to do this and it’s all very easy to see on Companies house. There should be an automatic stop once you reach a certain number.

Houseplanter · 19/04/2024 14:44

I've been in the unfortunate position of managing a large team of staff whose resilience and threshold for being off sick at times was frankly staggering low

This is what needs to change more than targeting the long term sick/disabled.

Tahinii · 19/04/2024 14:46

I’m physically disabled and chronically unwell due to a life limiting disorder. I may die young. For now, I work, almost full time (32 hours). I am not a better or somehow more worthy person because of my employment or my salary. I am lucky to have a flexible employer and I have always worked from a home a lot, even pre pandemic. I am lucky my career choice and qualifications are not a manual job or a job where I’d need to do 12
hour shifts.

I am happy for my tax money to go towards those who cannot work. The small number of people who fraud the system are a disgrace. However, I would hate to see the genuine people suffering for the actions of a minute minority.

AmethystSparkles · 19/04/2024 14:46

The problem is that all of you could become ill and disabled. Your children could become ill and disabled. Do you not understand that? I guess a lot of you have savings and feel secure but for people that don’t, how do you think those people are going to even attempt to recover when they’re going through all the stress of having no money and having to fight for benefits?

Even if you care nothing for those of us who already are disabled, don’t you want that security for your children?

vivainsomnia · 19/04/2024 14:47

Again this is 100% correct. But no one will agree with you because it involves a degree of accountability
Absolutely right.

I like to mention on such post the fact that the biggest cost to the NHS is diabetes, of which 88% is due solely to poor lifestyle choices. We are not talking millions but £14 billions. To make it clearer as many suffer with the concept of billions, £25,000 every... MINUTES.

WE as a society are killing the NHS.

I can't wait for Labour to come in, and the NHS showing no improvement, so that all those blaming everything on the government get to shut up.

Then again, as you say, they will still be unlikely to accept the truth that we are all the cause of the NHS pitfall and will manage to find a hatred organisation to blame.

Tahinii · 19/04/2024 14:47

Houseplanter · 19/04/2024 14:44

I've been in the unfortunate position of managing a large team of staff whose resilience and threshold for being off sick at times was frankly staggering low

This is what needs to change more than targeting the long term sick/disabled.

This happens from within your organisation though. I work in the public sector. It is hard but not impossible. Managers need to follow the policies and procedures. I’ve seen so many let it slide.

MattDamon · 19/04/2024 14:48

ComtesseDeSpair · 19/04/2024 10:48

I’ve read countless MN threads where “get your GP to sign you off sick with stress” is the stock answer to problems ranging from not getting on with colleagues, to a shift pattern which doesn’t work around childcare, to being about to be put on performance monitoring. I briefly worked for both the civil service and the NHS and “going on the sick” for weeks or months on end as a way of avoiding performance monitoring for underperforming colleagues or those with grievance investigations against them was rife. People were brazen about it. That’s true sicknote culture, and it’s a part of the overall worldview of why public services, in particular, are underperforming. Ignoring it and turning it into “the Tories just hate disabled people” is puerile.

Edited

Those 'get yourself signed off with stress' posts are almost always about taking a few weeks off work, not 'fraudulently claim thousands of pounds of benefits'. Completely different to what the Tories are proposing.

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