I already know what I need to do in this situation, but I'm yet again, left feeling confused and disappointed.
I've recently got together with someone I would class as a friend (we also work together). We know each others background and get on well. I had a rare week day without my children and he was working locally so he suggested we go for a drink. I had suspected for a while there was a mutual attraction, so thought why not. One drink turned into 5 hours of talking and flirting. He dropped me home and we kissed. He had a long drive home and neither of us suggested anything further that night. We swapped personal numbers and started talking daily and agreed that we'd like to see each other again. We live some distance apart and I suggested he came to me. This happened the following weekend. We had a great 24 hours together, lovely conversation, great sex (consensual and safe), all very comfortable and natural.
The communication continued and two weeks later we spend time together, again all of the above. There is a strong level of intimacy between us, which has taken us both by surprise. Only after this occasion, he has pulled back. We are still talking, although the frequency and nature of our messages had dialled right down.
We had both agreed to casual dating, he is finalising his divorce and I'm very guarded even 4 years after mine. But he is 100% pulling back. There have been 3 occasion where we could have spent some time together after work, but each time he's backed out, too tired, long drive home, finished to late.
Why do men do this? He's gone from I can't wait to see you, it can't come soon enough to nothing more than per functionary communication.
I am well aware he is laying out his table and has told me exactly who he is. I won't continue to pursue anything, but why all the nonsense at the start?
This isn't my first rodeo and I had something similar a couple of years ago. Tale as old of time, it's not you it's me, I'm not ready for a relationship, yadda yadda. 3 months later he's back on the dating apps and get's the first girl he meets pregnant!!
I'm not sure I'll ever understand how a man's brain works.