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Original poster

What is he doing in the toilet all this time?

86 replies

heartandflower · 18/04/2024 11:43

Dh gets up and goes straight to the toilet, he's in there about half an hour, comes home from work and the first thing he does is go to toilet for about half an hour, sometimes he will have additional toilet breaks all lasting around the same time.
I have asked him what takes so long and he just replies he's having a poo.
Is this usual behaviour? he does it when we are at my parents house or his, his mum once said he's always taken forever in the toilet.
We've been married over 10 years and there's no other strange behaviour but I do wonder why he feels the need to sit on the toilet so long.

OP posts:
whywonttheyeattheirfood · 18/04/2024 11:46

It's normal for most men according to what others say. Ages ago I did read a science article that said that men take ages in the toilet because it increases their testosterone levels which may have become depleted through stress or whatever.

sweetpickle2 · 18/04/2024 11:47

Porn on his phone is quite common for people to do in the bathroom. Although would be weird for that to be routinely the first thing he does when he gets home- a long poo (and a browse on the internet) is probably more likely.

ButterflyKu · 18/04/2024 11:48

He’s already told you, he’s doing a poo. Not everyone is straight in, straight out

Lemonnhoney · 18/04/2024 11:48

My DH does this too... I ask if he is constipated and he says no he's just having a poo 😂. I think he looks at his phone whilst doing it but seems to take forever!

Darby3785 · 18/04/2024 11:49

It is quite normal
My DS (19) can be on the toilet for a good 25 -30 minutes as can my DH! If it's for a poo!! Wee is much more in and out in our house!
Most of the time they are on their phones or just sat chilling 😂
Don't worry 😊

Boredwiththinkingofanotherusername · 18/04/2024 11:51

DH is the same. And the looking at his phone which is grim and unhygienic! 🤮

Up his fibre intake - that'll speed up his poo time! 😁

3526y · 18/04/2024 11:51

My dh takes forever. Definitely not porn though! Not sure why someone will assume that straight away!

He does get distracted with his SM, he enjoys the quite + he just needs longer, physiologically.

TossieFleacake · 18/04/2024 11:53

It seems to be the norm amongst my friends.
After some discussion it appears that women go to the loo when they need a poo whereas men go, sit on the toilet and try for a poo in stead of just going when needed.
And it's a good excuse for half an hour away from family life and a break.

Fancybed · 18/04/2024 11:54

I think it's really odd too, I don't remember my father doing it, but DH and ne of my sons take an age.

I went on holiday with friends in a large Air bnb, it took forever to get out in the mornings because each man needed his time in the toilet first.

MatildaTheCat · 18/04/2024 11:54

Is he leaving you to do drudge work while he’s lounging in the loo? If so I’d recommend asking him to leave his phone etc outside the bathroom while he focuses on his elimination.

If he refuses then he’s probably taking the piss.

PercyJackson · 18/04/2024 11:54

Yep, another shit widow here. I'm convinced he is just looking at motorbikes on his phone (his version of porn...!).

My Dad used to have a shelf of books in the bathroom that were specifically for him to sit and read while on the loo. I don't get it, I've never been in there long enough to read!

GalileoHumpkins · 18/04/2024 11:54

Mine takes a while but not half an hour, he's definitely not watching porn because he doesn't take his phone into the bathroom with him (thank god!). Some people just need longer to conduct their business.

Original poster
heartandflower · 18/04/2024 11:55

So it seems that there's nothing particularly strange about this at all then, that's good to know.

OP posts:
Fancybed · 18/04/2024 11:55

Oh, are they going in because they've decided it's time they had a poo, rather than because they need it? I sometimes leave it almost too late and am in and out very quickly!

Dareisayiseethesunshine · 18/04/2024 11:56

When he disappears go switch off the WiFi. He won't be as long then...

Original poster
heartandflower · 18/04/2024 11:57

The most annoying part is that there's 5 of us and one toilet, it's separate from the bathroom but it's still the only toilet in the house so quite often there's a queue.

OP posts:
VesperLind · 18/04/2024 11:57

As I understand it, it’s to do with women having more powerful and effective expulsive muscles, for obvious reasons. So generally speaking, we just go in, poo and done. Men have to work at it Grin

Purplevioletsherbert · 18/04/2024 11:59

Dareisayiseethesunshine · 18/04/2024 11:56

When he disappears go switch off the WiFi. He won't be as long then...

Most adults have data on their phones…

Octavia64 · 18/04/2024 11:59

I have IBS.

(Possibly TMI)

If I know there is a poo coming I will sometimes go to the loo and stay there until it damn well comes out as if I don't I'll have to run to the loo at high speed!

Mumaway · 18/04/2024 11:59

My DH has always done this. I don't think it's anything to do with a poo, I believe he's just chore-dodging. Maybe I should do the same.....

TuesdayWhistler · 18/04/2024 12:00

Every bloke I've ever known has had 20-30 minutes poos

Back in the days of Old Spice, they'd read the paper.
Then in the days of Lynx Africa, they'd read Rave magazines.
Now in the days of Sauvage, it's smart phones with YouTube, games, checking forums etc.

People will say "they're watching porn..." it's possible I guess. Who am I to say if a bloke can pull his todger and have a crafty Barclays?

Last bloke would disappear for 30 minutes to the loo, i once snuck up and stood near the door.. I heard him giggling and lauging like a child for like 10 minutes.. when he came back down stairs I asked him what he was so funny, he'd been sat reading a sub Reddit called 'HeyCarl'

Octavia64 · 18/04/2024 12:00

Octavia64 · 18/04/2024 11:59

I have IBS.

(Possibly TMI)

If I know there is a poo coming I will sometimes go to the loo and stay there until it damn well comes out as if I don't I'll have to run to the loo at high speed!

Oh, and I'm female and live alone so not chore dodging!

PurpleLamb · 18/04/2024 12:01

I could write the exact same post as you OP. I was getting sick of juggling kids while he sat on his lazy arse so kept turning the WiFi off. He now takes 5-10 mins.

CantDealwithChristmas · 18/04/2024 12:02

whywonttheyeattheirfood · 18/04/2024 11:46

It's normal for most men according to what others say. Ages ago I did read a science article that said that men take ages in the toilet because it increases their testosterone levels which may have become depleted through stress or whatever.

So wait. Pooing increases testosterone levels? Or trying to poo? Or sitting and waiting for the poo?

ButterflyKu · 18/04/2024 12:03

Dareisayiseethesunshine · 18/04/2024 11:56

When he disappears go switch off the WiFi. He won't be as long then...

Who relies on wifi? I’m sure a grown adult will have data😂