Wife hides dishes

[beanbagluv1]

I've packed away nearly all of our plates/mugs/bowls and cutlery and left 1 thing of each for me and DH. We're only two people (and a baby) but somehow dirty dishes always pile up. AIBU?

Paper plates!

That's ridiculous, just buy a dishwasher, I don't understand why you don't have one.

Perfectly reasonable in my opinion. Dd and her DH did something similar but with two items each when they were working awfully long hours.

my dh was away last week and I washed up my used items after each meal rather than using the dishwasher. Took a few minutes each time.

When my husband died I decided that I would do this, one of everything. It lasted about two days!

You really don't need a dishwasher for two people, I'm on my own and very very rarely use mine.22

I think it's fine. Why would you want to wash a full dining service?! Because if it's out it will all be used and some poor sod -usually me. Will have to clean it.

I just take the extras out when people come over.

Do we do it to save water and electricity? Sure, but also it would be daft to wash up such a small amount more than once a day!

I do this when my parents visit having got without an XH who left crockery EVERYWHERE (Think mouldy forks under his wfh desk.)
My parents use cups and saucers so if they visited for the day the whole set of 12 will be left on the side, dirty and they'd be onto the mugs with my mother complaining bitterly about how she disliked mugs. They only visit for about 5 hours max too.
Now, I leave 3 of everything out and put the others away. My mother complained like anything but things were either washed or stacked in the dishwasher ready for me to run.
It takes about 30 seconds to wash a cup out. It takes considerably longer for one person to collect all the dirty cups, stack the dishwasher, wait for it to run and unpack it. I think OP should go further and hide the DH under the patio.

I use mine all the time. Why wouldn't you have something cheap that makes life easier if doing the dishes is causing so much strife in her life that she's hiding them? Doing otherwise is just being martyr-ish.

I don't get this 🤔 there's two of you in the house, as long as one or other of you do the washing up once a day, how do the dishes pile up?

It’s quite bizarre. You are married to an adult I assume and not a child? You love this man? You are punishing your husband and making yourself miserable. Did you have a very strict upbringing?

What if you have visitors?
What if he doesn’t wash his clothes? Take them away?
Bedding gets removed if he doesn’t make the bed?

Get a paper plates.🫣

Btw. We don’t have a dishwasher. We wash up, it takes a couple of minutes.

We have stepped in and helped elderly relatives cope in their own homes and have with their permission removed as much excess 'stuff' to simplify their lives.

Downsizing cutlery, chinaware and cookware has really helped them.

The loading and unloading are then the issue.

Faux naivety.
Are you not able to 'read between the lines'?

Obviously the washing up is not getting done each day, because OP's DH is not pulling his weight. So by restricting the number of available plates etc, he will be forced to wash up if he wants to use a clean plate and cutlery.

It is a good strategy. They will both be forced to keep on top of the washing up, or risk running out of clean stuff, and there will be no pile of dirty crockery sitting there for days.

The alternative, in the extreme circumstances of the first few weeks of having a new born, is paper plates.

Clearly there will be spare crockery hidden away to be brought out when there are guests.

No this is ridiculous and it’ll mean doing more washing up.

Just take in turns doing the dishes each evening.

Everyone has dirty dishes that pile up.
I don’t often wash the dishes until I have a sink load and never wash as I go.

You can buy mini dishwashers which I’m tempted to do but I don’t know how good they are or how much space they take up.

I have someone inferred the context, but guessing that your H just uses more and more plates, cups etc without ever washing them up, so it mounts up to loads for you to do.

If you have one each of everything, he’ll have to wash up after each more or not have anything to use.

Sounds reasonable to me, as long as he doesn’t start using your set.

I'm the odd one out here and think it's ok. When me and my partner moved in together I only had 3 knives and 3 forks. Two plates Two glasses and two sets of bedsheets. Everything is washed up and put away bedsheets washed and straight back on the bed the same evening. Kept everything manageable things could never be left or get out of control. Things are different now he made me buy more 😂.

I’d invest in paper plates.

but somehow dirty dishes always pile up.

I mean that's the key sentence isn't it?

I don't have a dishwasher.

If I stay in a place with one I tend to use it but I don't see the appeal tbh.

This is the kind of thing the phrase “cutting off your nose to spite your face” talks about.

A lot of minimalists do this, it means no pile of dirty dishes. Everyone washes up as they go.

Pretty childish. It really doesn't take that long to wash dishes. Cant imagine being controlled by how many forks I can use 🙄