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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate having house guests?!

162 replies

yellowr0se · 17/04/2024 21:15

I am not talking about having people over for lunch/ dinner/ drinks/ coffee etc.

I mean people STAYING in the house. Family coming for a multiple nights etc.

I find it overwhelmingly invasive and an incredible energy drain.

Having to make continuous conversation..

Having to offer every time you want to reach for a snack..

Not being able to walk around in underwear/ revealing / old/ strange pajamas

Having to be seen and talk to people first thing in the morning.

Having to "entertain"?

Having to have awkward convos about "what do you want to watch on TV?"

Ughhhh just hate the whole thing. It's not them, it's nearly always me. I guess I am just a very private person. I socialise in very short bursts.

Am I totally unreasonable to feel like this or do others feel the same?

Ps- any tips for how to make it feel more manageable.

OP posts:
Ilovemyshed · 17/04/2024 21:16

Its horrendous. 1 night max is my limit.

Samlewis96 · 17/04/2024 21:17

Don't have overnight guests Simple

TowerRavenSeven · 17/04/2024 21:17

Yanbu at all; I hate it with a passion!

Noshowlomo · 17/04/2024 21:17

I could never do it. I’d hate it

blackrosemage · 17/04/2024 21:18

100% agree. It's the worst. I also intensely dislike staying at other peoples houses

Springtime43 · 17/04/2024 21:18

I hate it too. Why can’t people stay in a Premier Inn?

Grasshopper75 · 17/04/2024 21:18

Same. I feel like it would be easier if I had a massive house with lots of space but we're in a small 2 bed with one bathroom, small lounge and a small-ish kitchen/diner. Having more than me and DH in the house feels so claustrophobic.

NursieBirder · 17/04/2024 21:18

YANBU. Just don’t do it.

MenoBabe · 17/04/2024 21:18

Only like it with about 2 of my very closest friends. Hate it with everyone else.

Original poster
yellowr0se · 17/04/2024 21:19

blackrosemage · 17/04/2024 21:18

100% agree. It's the worst. I also intensely dislike staying at other peoples houses

Omg me too! HATE it!!!!

OP posts:
greengreyblue · 17/04/2024 21:19

Haven’t done it for ages. I’m ok with overnight, up , breakfast and off they go. Wouldn’t do more than that. I rarely stay at other people’s houses either. I did at Christmas and we were up and left after breakfast and clearing up. I hate putting on others.

bows101 · 17/04/2024 21:19

With you OP.
I also abhor being the overnight guest; think
Christmas with family who live too far to travel back at the end of the day so HAVE to stay. I count down every minute 😩

Original poster
yellowr0se · 17/04/2024 21:19

Grasshopper75 · 17/04/2024 21:18

Same. I feel like it would be easier if I had a massive house with lots of space but we're in a small 2 bed with one bathroom, small lounge and a small-ish kitchen/diner. Having more than me and DH in the house feels so claustrophobic.

Claustrophobic is the word!!

So glad to hear I'm not alone here !!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
yellowr0se · 17/04/2024 21:20

Springtime43 · 17/04/2024 21:18

I hate it too. Why can’t people stay in a Premier Inn?

EXACTLY!! better for everyone !!

OP posts:
LizardOfOz · 17/04/2024 21:20

I feel the same way, you've said everything that makes it so hard!

Though you forgot the whole "is it ok if I have a shower? Or will I have one later? I can have a cold shower, I don't mind. Is it ok if I have a cold shower later?" Aaaaaaaggggghhhhh I've told you 100 times have a shower whenever you want, we don't care, the water's always hot and of course you don't have to have a bloody cold shower

ItsFuckingBoringFeedingEveryoneUntilYouDie · 17/04/2024 21:21

Do you all feel the same about staying with others?

I love having guests. But I only invite people I like. Not family!

Original poster
yellowr0se · 17/04/2024 21:21

LizardOfOz · 17/04/2024 21:20

I feel the same way, you've said everything that makes it so hard!

Though you forgot the whole "is it ok if I have a shower? Or will I have one later? I can have a cold shower, I don't mind. Is it ok if I have a cold shower later?" Aaaaaaaggggghhhhh I've told you 100 times have a shower whenever you want, we don't care, the water's always hot and of course you don't have to have a bloody cold shower

Hahaha this make me LOL. Yes all those awkward conversations where everyone's just trying to be too polite but it's just bloody annoying 😂😂

OP posts:
SabreIsMyFave · 17/04/2024 21:22

Does anyone over the age of 30 really enjoy having people stay? I LOATHE it. When we have family or friends visiting the area, we get Travelodge rooms for them. (We pay.) Can't have them staying with us. I would go loco. (DH feels the same.)

It's bad enough when they come round and are stuck here for 8 hours, and we have to continually talk to them, and smile, and entertain them. I feel like I've done four 12-hours shifts on an assembly line in a factory when they leave. Exhausting. 😴

blackrosemage · 17/04/2024 21:22

ItsFuckingBoringFeedingEveryoneUntilYouDie · 17/04/2024 21:21

Do you all feel the same about staying with others?

I love having guests. But I only invite people I like. Not family!

Yep. Hate it. I always decline wherever possible but Christmas is an issue 😭

Springtime43 · 17/04/2024 21:22

I’m in the awkward situation where SIL, who lives miles from us, has accepted a work contract in our city. When she started, she gave us 48hrs notice that she was coming to stay for 4 days. It caused a huge row between DH and I, but by the time she left he was shattered and she now stays in hotels when she’s in our area. It scares me that this could change …

coxesorangepippin · 17/04/2024 21:22

Couldn't agree more

You have to clean beforehand, clean afterwards and pretend your house is a full board hotel whilst guests are there

Exhausting

Original poster
yellowr0se · 17/04/2024 21:23

SabreIsMyFave · 17/04/2024 21:22

Does anyone over the age of 30 really enjoy having people stay? I LOATHE it. When we have family or friends visiting the area, we get Travelodge rooms for them. (We pay.) Can't have them staying with us. I would go loco. (DH feels the same.)

It's bad enough when they come round and are stuck here for 8 hours, and we have to continually talk to them, and smile, and entertain them. I feel like I've done four 12-hours shifts on an assembly line in a factory when they leave. Exhausting. 😴

Edited

Being polite/ small talking/ fake laughing at unfunny jokes is exhausting

OP posts:
SabreIsMyFave · 17/04/2024 21:24

yellowr0se · 17/04/2024 21:23

Being polite/ small talking/ fake laughing at unfunny jokes is exhausting

Show quote history

Definitely. It wears me out; physically and mentally. I dread it.

Original poster
yellowr0se · 17/04/2024 21:25

Springtime43 · 17/04/2024 21:22

I’m in the awkward situation where SIL, who lives miles from us, has accepted a work contract in our city. When she started, she gave us 48hrs notice that she was coming to stay for 4 days. It caused a huge row between DH and I, but by the time she left he was shattered and she now stays in hotels when she’s in our area. It scares me that this could change …

I think sometimes we have to just put our foot down - it's so easy to get pressured into having people to stay and it's actually just too much!!

OP posts:
Nannyogg134 · 17/04/2024 21:27

Agreed, and I always forget how much I hate it until I end up hosting someone again. We have a (very lovely) relative who comes and stays for a few days, a couple of times a year and I'm always happy to see them....and very relieved when they go home!

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