Why do people get more anxious as they get older?

[NoisySnail]

I know this does not apply to every single individual, but in general people do seem to get more anxious as they get older. And I wondered why? Is it simply a natural thing to happen as you become aware that your body is deteriorating and that simple things such as falling over could have a serious consequence? Or are there other reasons?
Interested to hear anyone's thoughts on this.

And there's another stage where you turn from an adult, average risk assessment, into an old person. Where falls are serious, you hurt your back more, you don't heal as quickly, you don't bounce, recovery (whether from a fall or a hangover) takes forever. And you naturally get more cautious.

Over 30 years of knowing IL I've pretty much seen that. MIL 10 years ago was rolling down grass hills and up in ship riggings with kids- now she frightened about stepping in and out of taxis - she had some fall on walks and taken longer and longer to recover. They've travelled the word but train tickets to nearby stations caused confusion several times. They are slowing down mentally and physically and are getting more and more cautious in response to that.

You lose your nerve as you age. Speaking from experience

My mother was always on the anxious side, as was her mother - I think they both somehow saw over-the-top worrying about family members as a way of showing love.

But my mother got many times worse in the last 10-15 years of her life, as she became progressively more disabled and housebound, and I think as her world shrunk pretty much to the walls of the house, everything outside started to seem even bigger and scarier.

She would project her worries outwards to me (and the rest of the family, to a lesser extent), so I was faced with the choice of limiting my own life to keep her calm (eg never going out alone after dark!), or refusing to accept the burden of her irrational anxiety. I mostly chose the latter, or just restricted what I told her as much as possible.

I am now 56 and so far show no signs of turning into my mother or grandmother, but I am constantly alert to it.

I think you are both more aware of your body maybe not being able to do what it used to/having changed PLUS you’ve seen you/people you know/love suffer/die/go through stuff and realise how fragile life is.

I haven’t got more anxious but I am more cautious. I’m very conscious that if I broke a bone now it would take much longer to heal.

Perhaps the hormones that keep you full of optimism, confidence and bravado long enough to reproduce just start to run out.

I dunno but it's horrible

I think its because the older someone is the more likely it is that they have seen and experienced horrible things, they will probably have experienced death of a loved one, had accidents or known people who have had accidents or debilitating illnesses. When people are young it's more likely they will have a care free and it won't happen to me attitude. You older you get the move you realise that horrible things can happen to anyone hence the worry and anxiety

I'm 60 and I've gone the other way, I am fair less anxious since DH died. Watching him deal with a diagnosis of a cancer that is almost always a rapid death sentence then nursing him through his last weeks and days taught me that anxiety gets me nowhere other than in an emotional mess. Anxiety certainly didn't change the future it just made everything harder to deal with so now I am much more a "fuck it, life will be what it will be" kind of person.

This. Much more of a case of what will be. And I've lost both parents within 18 months ago, had treatment for cancer as has my brother. Been through menopause. Had a months stay in hospital after appendix burst and poisoned me But can't say I'm anxious about these things. No point in worrying about what you can't control.

I don't. The older I get the less fucks I give about everything.

This. Much more of a case of what will be.

@Samlewis96 Yes and among my friends and family, I’ve also noticed that the people who haven’t experienced many bad things tend to get more anxious and fall apart when something does happen. Whereas someone like my Auntie (77) who’s dealt with a lot of difficulties in her life, gets on with it and doesn’t worry too much.

46 and I think menopause for me but since having kids it's gradually got worse. I hate everything about cars and driving these days - I automatically work out how to get somewhere on public transport rather than using the car. Constantly worrying about the next thing to worry about.

I'm so sorry you got mugged, but amazing that you managed to fight back.

I've wondered this too. I'm nearly 50 and quite resilient but I've noticed I feel very reluctant to drive anywhere unfamiliar and will try and avoid it if possible, though I've been driving 30 years. In my 20s I had jobs that required a lot of long distance driving and I just cracked on with it. No sat nav then either.

Lockdown definitely didn't help as my world became very small and "safe". When I had to go back to the office (part time) I felt soooo nervous. It wasn't fear of covid, I was suddenly scared of the commute I'd done 5 days a week for years. This was on the train so separate to the driving issue.

I used to see older people fretting a lot over little things and I thought it was because they had too much time on their hands but now I do the same (and I definitely don't have much time to spare).

So yes it's a thing but I'm not sure how it works!

Quite the opposite with us. More laid back the older we get.

I think I'm less anxious in middle age than I've ever been. I also think I'm in my prime physically. My dad has become far more anxious as his physical health declines. He feels more vulnerable, which he is, and that's a sensible reason to feel anxious.

I think that people stop pushing at the box where they feel comfortable. For example, in my 20s, I went abroad to work, had a week between first interviews and arrival in a new country, where I had to find a home and then start work in a huge corporate job. I turned up with one small bag and got on with it.
Now I get worried about a week abroad on holiday!
I think it is because I no longer am pushed out of my comfort zone so my comfort zone is shrinking.

People saying that now they are older they give less fucks - well yes, I am like that too in that I am no longer anxious about how I might be perceived by others (especially men). I have no time for being messed about and spend far less time trying to be liked.

But I am more anxious about physical things. It's as though my mind is growing stronger as my body loses capacity. I can injure myself turning over in bed in a way that will impact on me for days, but if someone insults me I no longer spend months turning that insult over and over in my head and wondering if they were right.

So I guess there's a trade off.

I was most anxious at 25 when I had a baby. I was worried about things that could go wrong with the baby or what would happen to her if I was ill. I'm probably less anxious now.

That.

I used to be physically confident. I didn't give a thought to my body as I trusted it to be able to do what I asked of it. I had no reason not to.

But now I can't trust it. I won't go up in the loft unless someone's visiting and can monitor me. I hold on to banister rails when going down unfamiliar stairs, and feel the need to think about what I'm doing, rather than trust my brain and body to communicate instinctively.

That's something that even slightly younger people probably can't imagine. And it sucks.
So yes, I'm anxious about falls and of what recovery would like like now ,compared to even five years ago.

Also sorry for all those struggling. Personally, I am less anxious as I get older. I agree with @NoisySnail in that I worry less about the superficial stuff, however I find an increasing number of things superficial.

I also find myself worrying more about other people's health than my own, but that is probably a result of personal circumstances.

Only 43 and already we’ve had a number of health scares between us, lost too many people in our age range, I suppose it’s the whole living on borrowed time thing- you realise that if you dropped dead tomorrow people would just say ‘oh no’ but might not do the ‘she was so young’ thing they’d do with someone younger

She's experienced it. As have I when with her. She was almost knocked flying by a man pushing past her to run down the escalator to get his train. Even though he was an inconsiderate oaf, she thought it was her fault for being slow to step on. I did have something to say to him, but she was 'hush now, the man is in a rush...'

I agree with this , and I’m late 50s with numerous heath conditions . I see no point in worrying about things I cannot change and have never been a ‘what if’ type