Why do people get more anxious as they get older?

[NoisySnail]

I know this does not apply to every single individual, but in general people do seem to get more anxious as they get older. And I wondered why? Is it simply a natural thing to happen as you become aware that your body is deteriorating and that simple things such as falling over could have a serious consequence? Or are there other reasons?
Interested to hear anyone's thoughts on this.

I agree with this. I'm 54 and while I wouldn't say I was anxious exactly, I've certainly lost confidence in life in general. I now know that the world is not a nice safe place where good things happen to good people, where well made plans are sure to go well, and where tomorrow is guaranteed. Once you know that, you can't unknow it and everything takes on that little frisson of uncertainty that could quite easily spiral into anxiety.

It depends what we mean by 'older' here, but there is some evidence that empathy does decline with age on average, in a similar way to memory, e.g. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00429-021-02291-y. This sounds like an insulting and ageist generalisation at first, but I think it's actually quite helpful to know that a lot of people are genuinely less able to see things from others' perspectives in old age, and that becoming 'self-centred' and even 'selfish' isn't necessary a choice or a moral failing (just as for young children). Focusing on yourself more can make some people disinhibited, but for a lot of people it makes them a lot more anxious as their ability to engage with the world beyond them shrinks, which is also often reinforced by physical limitations (e.g. declining hearing).

I was thinking about this recently. I’m a very different person now at 34 to who I was ten years ago when I was 24.

I have become more anxious because as time has gone on, more things have happened to me. At 24 I was just beginning proper adulthood and was much more carefree. And now I’ve got an extra 10 years under my belt full of ups and downs. And the downs have all taken their toll on me collectively. So here I am at 34 much more affected by life than I was before.

Plus as time goes on I think health plays a part in it. I think my hormones are much more out of whack than they were years ago, and this sends me plunging in to a nervous wreck. Im a lot more down about my looks too, so my self esteem isn’t as high as it was.

As time goes on we have so much more to think about too. New things to think about like looking after elderly relatives or helping teenage children through their own pain. Things that 10 years ago I didn’t have to give any thought about at all.

This. Pick up a cup 10 times, and your chance of breaking it is considerable lower than if you pick it up 10000 times. Once you break it, you will be anxious about breaking cups when you pick them up.

Add all the experiences that we read about on the news, and you can't do anything without feeling anxious. Don't go to someone's house for a mushroom based meal, for example; too much anxiety.

I am sorry those on this thread who have had serious illness and/or whose husbands have died. I would think that would increase anxiety in most people because they are tough situations to deal with.

I'm not sure if it's health related or having that enforced don't-go-out-at-night time over lockdowns. I feel anxious about getting home from nights out these days.

Age brings a certain world knowledge and life experience. It's not necessarily health-related but life-experience brings some sort of trepidation about jumping in head first.

I'm already a huge ball of anxiety in my 30s. So if this is true god help me when I'm in my 70s 😂

I've certainly got more anxious since I started reading this thread.

That’s genuinely so sad to read. Has she experienced people being impatient with her or is it just what she imagines they’ll do/think?

If I saw someone not being patient with someone who could only move slowly or needed things repeated etc, I’d be disgusted and say something. I hope she stops caring and can get back out there.

For me general anxiety comes, I think, from physical anxiety. Someone up thread mentioned this.

My body is failing. I find new things everyday I cannot do which causes me anxiety. if I let it, that anxiety seeps into everything. I have to remind myself sometimes that my physical fragility isn't related to me as a person, my intellect and my inherent worth to people who love me.

It can be hard to cling on to this, sometimes

More to lose? More people to consider? 8 years ago I didn't have to worry about anyone but myself, and I lived that to the full. Now I have people to care for and other responsibilities, it's changed my capacity for risk.

The older you get the more likely bad things have happened either to you or to people you know.

Also, you can see consequences.

My kids used to bomb down steep ski runs that I would go carefully and slowly down, I know how much it hurts when you fall but young kids just seem to bounce!

The older you get, the more shit has happened to you. And the more people you feel responsible for and/or worry about. Most of whom you have no control over so can no longer protect.

I'm widowed, both our sets of parents are now dead. I'm (if age is anything to go by) next in line, and I can't bear the thought of the grief and stress that lies ahead for my daughters when I do.

There's more to worry about and less you can do about any of it, in short.

I actually think I am less anxious as I age. I don’t care what other people think of me. I happily go to places as a singleton without a care - theatre, cinema, restaurants etc.
As I age, I am less scared of dying, I am less scared of upsetting other people, less scared of making a fool of myself.
I do worry about frailties, but with age comes wisdom, and I know that worrying about what might happen is a waste of time, worry about was is, and not what might be.

There are two stages, I think. One is just around 25ish. You go from being a teenage, stupid, reckless idiot (which is all evolutionary BTW) to an adult. Then you adult.

And there's another stage where you turn from an adult, average risk assessment, into an old person. Where falls are serious, you hurt your back more, you don't heal as quickly, you don't bounce, recovery (whether from a fall or a hangover) takes forever. And you naturally get more cautious.

I'm 62 and I would say I'm about 90% less anxious than I was 40 years ago.

I think that the growing sense of your own mortality can make you more anxious, but I also think that life experiences massively influence people.

I’m less anxious at nearly 50, partly because I’m middle-aged and don’t give a shit 😂 but also because my childhood was quite fraught with parental illness/family financial problems so I half expected disasters to hit! Having experienced a more stable adulthood, however, I’ve become less anxious about life, because while I know that bad things can happen, they’re not inevitable, iyswim.

I wonder if acquired experience also contributes. I’m much more aware of how vulnerable I am if mugged/attacked. It’s taken a year for my confidence to return regarding going out and about in daylight let alone the dark. Being mugged for my garage keys at 2pm and realising no one will help and it was only because I managed to twist his cock I managed to get away from him. Years ago I would have trusted I could have punched him down. Now I would have to rely on dumb luck.

On the flip side there is stuff I used to worry w kit which I no longer care about whatsoever.

For me I feel less anxious, I do worry about the health of my elderly parents and sick sibling but overall I am more confident and at peace. However I can understand where people on this thread are coming from. I do use HRT which I think helps a lot.

It doesn't happen to everyone.

However menopause, illness and declining health can have huge impacts as can failing memory or just getting confused.

Also though getting in a rut - so life gets busy full of routines and suddenly you have to do something unusual - so DH better at travel as he doe sit much more often and when he does he frequently not got split attention with kids like I have - so I tend to find travel stressful and remember that and get anxious for next time.

Sometime it's people round you - DH gets very impatient and he and MIL can't seem to do repetition - with routes they know or skills - 6 different ways of doing something isn't same as doing something same thing 6 times so you know what you are doing. Constant variation can make it seem more complex than it often is.

Plus other people over confidence can undermine yours - I'm doing an course kids and DH have serval times now demonstrated they think they know what they are talking about but actually don't and know less than I do.

Irrational anxiety was my main peri symptom (waking up anxious but for no reason or just feeling anxious during the day and as a result not being able to get on with anything) so I think for women some of it can be hormonal. It did go away after I started on HRT.

However, largely it probably is rational and it's due to your awareness of your own creeping physical decline and that that does lead to certain vulnerabilities.

Is it that we realise more and more that the world, and pretty much everything in it, is run haphazardly by imbeciles?

I'm not. I give less shits. I'm definitely less anxious at 57 than I used to be.

I disagree. I think that my children’s generation are far more anxious than I was when I was their age . Obviously the older you get the more you worry about physical ailments but many younger people are just generally more stressed.
We are living in a rubbish world and SM really doesn’t help !