'Where was my invite?' is rude and aggressive

[Wearygirl]

I hate it when you are in a group chat online or in person and someone mentions they've been somewhere and someone else 'jokingly' says 'where was my invite'
I think its so rude and aggressive and there's no answer to it. It makes the person being asked so uncomfortable and awkward.

I have 2 different friends who use this line all the time and it drives me mad (maybe also because neither of them ever suggest or organise anything)

YANBU, I can’t imagine being that brazen 😄

'You didn't get one'. Simples :D

It makes the person being asked so uncomfortable and awkward

That's the point isn't it?

I Have a friend who does it all the time. She says it about everything-including things like family meals out etc

The irony of it is that she never keeps any plans made and cancels/bails on every arrangement.

So passive aggressive.

Just reply with a totally and utterly random emoji and then forget about her message whilst she wonders what the emoji means.

🦔

This is a new one 🦪

🦷

Reply "the word you're looking for is invitation, dahling!"

@DixonD
What even is that?
Looks like an egg on an ironing board but it would definitely work 😂

Yes, you are rights, it's abrupt and inappropriate.

Just tell them it's in the bin.

I've only ever seen this as a jokey, light hearted comment with no seriousness intended.

This is the only way I’ve seen it, as well. Same as if someone posts a photo of a meal they cooked or cake they made someone will joke “when shall I come over?? / shall I bring Tupperware??” Tone doesn’t come across well in text, perhaps they don’t realise you don’t see it as a joke.

It depends on why they were asking. Did everyone else go and they were deliberately not invited?

It's nearly always lighthearted and tongue in cheek isn't it? It's a causal way to say 'sounds like you had a good time' or 'I'm up for doing the same one day' it encourages friendship. It's similar humour to 'what time should I come round?' When someone says they are cooking something nice for dinner. It's not serious.

There was a fall out in my friendship group because of one woman doing this a few years ago. She’s immature and passive aggressive. She’d never organise anything, she often not reply to invitations and when she did go, she’d barely say two words to anyone. But she kept commenting words along the line of ‘why didn’t I get an invite?’ if people within the group made arrangements and didn’t invite her, especially if another woman she considered a close friend was invited. There were other things involved but it came to a head the last time she said ‘why wasn’t I invited?’ and most of the women in the group no longer speak with her.

I remember getting a sarky "thanks for the invite" comment once from one uncle and aunt about a trip I was going on with Mum - while we often did take trips together, there was a genuine reason they weren't invited this time. That trip was for the wedding of a couple my relatives don't know, and it was only two nights so there wouldn't have been time to do anything with them separately from the wedding. The best of it was that it came out later that they wouldn't even have been free to go anyway even if it had been possible.

"It got lost, along with your manners!"

What IS that? A mouldy ham perhaps? Those old fashioned bellows? A she wee?

Exactly this

An oyster? An avocado past its best?

testing out oyster, did accidentally stumble across this lil fella

🦦

I've only ever seen it as a joke.

The staple reply used to be - must have got lost in the post. What a shame.
Everyone would haha and move on.

Nowadays, lost in the post is likely to turn a joke in to - well why didn't you message me? 🙄

This is oddly specific but here goes. I'd say "Where was my invite?!" is a jokey remark to say it sounds like you had a good time. As PP have said, it's just like "What time shall I come for dinner?" when you've shared that you're cooking something delicious.

For some reason, "Why didn't I get an invitation?" sounds like a genuine question, plaintive and awkward. Happy to be told it isn't meant that way, because I'd hate to be the one trying to answer it 😬

I'm enjoying the parallel mystery emoji thread!

Only ever heard this in a joking fun way