If you told your DH you thought you were depressed because of your unhappy marriage, how would you expect them to respond?

[Cantshakeit10]

I appreciate everyone is different, but I don’t know if I’m overreacting.

my DH and I have been having some issues since Oct/Nov time. we have 2 children and I just feel as though we have very different approaches to things. I don’t feel like we have any meaningful conversations anymore without him either trying to shut me down of being sarcastic. I also feel like he can be selfish and quite ‘tunnel vision’ in that he doesn’t really see the mental load I carry. BUT, he does A LOT around the house, is always tidying up after the kids and always wants to be around for family time etc.

I just feel like we have no affection. Everything feels forced and, quite frankly, I feel like I would be better off on my own right now.

I told him last night I think I’m depressed as I don’t know if I want to continue this marriage. Instead of just saying, “talk to me”, he seemed to just talk at me about how he thinks I’m feeling and what he thinks will resolve it.

i just feel so upset that he’s responded like that. But maybe I’m just being too sensitive.

The in love while parenting app is a great start. It’s free and based on psychology

Before doing couple therapy I think it would be helpful to talk out how you feel with someone. It doesn’t need to be a therapist. A good friend, your brother/sister or mum/dad. Someone who will listen.

Having two young children is tough and I imagine your life has changed beyond recognition while his has barely changed at all. For me, what helped was having something for myself. I never stopped working and I’ve loved that I’ve had something that’s mine only. Looking back it’s what kept me mentally strong. It doesn’t have to be work, it can be anything that is yours. Volunteering, research, writing a book, flower arranging and exercise coach/instructor are all valid things you can take on so you have something for yourself.