To still go on holiday whilst Dad is unwell

[Dinoswearunderpants]

It's such a subjective question and I just don't know what to do, please be kind as I'm struggling loads.

We're due to fly to Orlando tomorrow for little ones 3rd birthday. However my Dad is really poorly.

He's been in/out of the hospital for the last 18 months. He's really unwell currently fighting a bad injection.

He's stable but so unwell. He could make a recovery or he could not.

He is adamant we still go on holiday. He doesn't want his grandson missing out. I've explained we could move it to another time but he even shouted at me today saying I must go.

I feel so conficted. I don't want to go against his wishes but also if the worse happened, how could I forgive myself.

I just don't know what to do. I could fly home if he has a turn but I might not make it back in time.

Or he could be getting all the rest he needs whilst we're away and I can see him when we return and perk him up with all the nice stories etc.

WWYD.

This.
And if he dies while you're away, maybe that's how he wanted it to be. Not everyone wants an audience for their final moments- many times it happens when loved ones leave

Sorry for your loss, I hope you feel you did the right thing

I would say go tbh. My df told me the same when I had a big holiday and he was ill. He died shortly after I returned but I had had an amazing holiday. It helps that was pretty certain he'd have done the same thing.

It was a better experience for me than my siblings. We had said our goodbyes before I travelled. My siblings didn't & missed out on that lovely bit of time which massively made a difference for me x

He said go so you should go. Spend some time with him before you go. You’re doing what he wants. He might pull round and imagine if you rebook and he’s poorly again?

I am so sk sorry for your loss. Yes you made the right decision. You would have hated the trip if you had done otherwise. Take care and all the best OP. RIP

Seen your update OP! So sorry for your loss

i took my long planned holiday was told I must - Mum died, will never forgive myself- over 10 years ago😥

I'm so sorry OP

You did the right thing. Big hugs x

So sorry OP xx

I'm so sorry for your loss OP

Oh sweet girl I am so sorry to hear you’ve lost your beloved Dad. I’m glad you were with him x take care

Sending you so much love 💕

I agree with this, I think. It all comes down to what you feel is more important.

My DM was EoL care 2.5 years ago; we were told she had 3 weeks to live so all Xmas holidays got cancelled. She's still here (don't get me started on that diagnosis!) but with slowly failing health and I expect 'the call' any day so I have decided that I just carry on with my life, go on holidays as normal as it could happen at anytime. I've made my peace with the fact that it is going to happen when I'm not with her.

Oh heck. I've just seen your update; I'm so so sorry for your loss. 🙁

So very sorry. Sending courage for the days to follow.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

So sorry for your loss. 💐💐💐

I'm very sorry for your loss @Dinoswearunderpants. You were right to trust your instincts.

So very sorry to read your update. You made the right decision to cancel. So sorry for you loss

Apologies, I'm sorry for your loss.

Hello OP,
We are so sorry for your loss.
Wishing you the very best,
MNHQ💐

hangingonfordearlife1 · 16/04/2024 14:29
i personally wouldn't go. i spent 5 months during lockdown with my oxygen dependent father who was declining. when airports opened he told me to go home to my husband as we had been apart for so long. i knew my dad was very sick and i probably wouldn't see him again but i live abroad and that's just the way it is. i didn't expect him however to die just two weeks after i left. i still cannot forgive myself and don't think i ever will.”

Condolences. With respect, OP is in an entirely different situation. She can’t put her own family’s life on hold for a sick parent.

Go, OP. If you were my daughter it would cause me untold unhappiness and stress knowing my grandchild was missing out because of me. The last thing I would need if I were ill.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad you had stayed.