AIBU that the other children are not my responsibility

[Youngandbeautifuliwish]

I am aware I may get flamed.
DD has complex medical needs and SEN but is academically able.
we have thankfully a very good EHCP which is fully funded by the LA rather than the budget going to the school and so the LA Employ her 1–1 directly and she follows DD so when DD is in school she is in school
when DD is at home she is at home etc
we are very thankful and it does mean that all DD 1-1 interventions are done and she is dedicated solely to DD.
recently this years school teacher is clearly not happy with the system and keeps raising complaints / changing the routine and being a bit huffy about things and saying things like “ she is not the only child with sen in the class “ aiming at the amount of intervention her 1-1 gives her compared to what the others get. Now she is very complex which is why.
I understand the frustration but we fought hard and along time to get all the support in place it wasn’t something that happened over night.
previous years have been fine and the school are very understanding in terms of management but this year has unraveled a bit and is causing EBSA and school refusal.
I guess usually they can stretch the 1-1 as they please and she is overwhelmed maybe in the class so would like extra help
but I don’t believe this should come from my DD package and however much I wish I could improve sen provision I am not going to allow it to effect my daughter ?

You fought your battle, the other parents need to fight theirs. If the TA is at home when your daughter is and that's permitted by your EHCP then surely that's the end of it. Are they genuinely suggesting someone they don't pay for goes to the school when your daughter can't, thus depriving her of any education and support she can get at home on those days?

@murasaki no its more when they are at school and doing her 1-1 interventions.

Your daughter's 1-1 is rightfully hers, you fought to get it and I'm sorry but the other parents who have sen children in the class need to fight for their own. Why should your daughter lose out and be negatively affected, those other children are not your responsibility

Must preface this by saying I know nothing about any of this – SEN provision, schools – however I think this teacher’s behaviour is unacceptable and you would be well justified in complaining. The provision your daughter has been granted is none of this teacher’s concern, and it sounds as though their behaviour is actually deleterious to your DD’s needs and ability to learn. Not helpful to your daughter or any of the other students.

I wouldn’t be at all impressed with the teacher’s attitude. She has no business aiming her complaints and huffing in your direction. If she needs support with the rest of the class she needs to speak to the HT. If she thinks other pupils need more support in school she should speak to their parents. None of it is your problem or your business.

God. SN parenting is a never ending battle, isn't it? I feel tired just reading that. Cheek of them.

I would minimise the energy drain of the situation by politely putting my objection in writing and indicating my willingness to take a complaint to the LA/tribunal. Hopefully they'll back off fast. It could even be that not all staff properly understand the EHCP funding situation.

If it's just this one teacher, why not ask for a one to one (😂) chat with her and let her express her frustration. You can then counteract with common sense - ie this support worker is there for your daughter only and is not a class helper. Hopefully job done.

Could you offer to help the other parents with their applications for support? You were very successful and they might appreciate you helping them get the same level of support. This way you are helping them but not at the detriment of your daughter?

She and other parents may think the school is paying, which may partly explain it. The school need to be reminded she is strictly there for your kid. Sorry you need to fight this when you've already had to fight so hard.

But I do also sympathis with the teacher a bit, she clearly needs support with the class, but not from your TA.

This is the problem the school is wonderful and everything up until now has ran smoothly then this year hit and it’s all just gone a bit south.
the change in routines for example when 1-1 tries to take her for her usual intervention it will then end up in teacher saying no etc and then we raise the issues it’s often s she isn’t the only one with sen responses.

This

If the interventions are in the plan, and tbh even if they aren't explicitly, surely the teacher can't stop it?

I have 100 percent learned more about the local authority and ehcp plans over the years than anything else.
I will always advice parents and always willing to read over draft EHCPs to make sure wording isn’t to wishy washy.

It's not the OPs responsibility to help other parents apply for one to one's, all information is available online and the school SENCO can help. It's a lovely idea but I'm sure the OP is a busy parent and it's not possible for her to go around working out which mum's have SEN children and who does or doesn't have a statement, let alone then try and help them all

Or don't
I imagine OP has enough on her plate and doesn't especially want to act as an unpaid assistant for other parents

Yes we did think this.
I also think it’s a little hard to understand DD her medical needs are not common.

Raise with the teacher directly, if no change then raise with the head or head of year. It doesn't matter what she thinks, she doesn't get a vote. If she's stopping her interventions I'd be asking for an explanation every time.

It doesn't matter what the other parents think. The echp is a legally binding document. Period.

Oh I fully agree. I was just wondering if the situation is being misread.

But the teacher should know, so no excuses there.

Haha yes I do try when it comes to friends childrens but I can’t solve the ongoing issue in the whole local area.
tbf the school for a mainstream local is pretty good overall and has been great for the sen children I know not all of them but for a good few and they are the senco is fab. Just seem to have an ongoing issue this year and it’s really taking its toll
I have requested a meeting.

They should never be taking away from your DD's provision, that's for her not the other DC. Occasionally my DS's 1:1 will also help other children but only where this also benefits DS (eg. If it's group work, my DS might need help with the social side, but would be grouped with DC who would also benefit from having an adult close by)

Yes ! We have always actually promoted others joining in a small group for interventions because it actually benefits them and her.

Hello, teacher here. The teacher may have been 'allocated the ta' without being told how she is funded, and may therefore assume she is available to support all students. She may have been fobbed off with a wishy washy statement by senior leadership, implying she has a class ta (when she clearly doesn't) because they don't have the budget to fund other support and are hoping to get away with using your daughters ta to help. Or she may have been told, and not listened or not understood the implications. This is not a common way of having tas in school, so she may not have come across it before. None of this is to excuse the situation as your daughter absolutely should be getting the support you have fought for and she is legally entitled to. I think I would first make sure that the teacher understands (you shouldn't have to, but I would start here). Arrange a meeting with her, go through exactly what the entitlement is, and at the end thank her for her time, and say that you will send her an email, saying thank you for the mweting on x date, and confirming everything you have said to her (including a copy of the ehcp if possible). That way you have a paper trail. If there is an issue with lack of understanding or information being passed on, this will fix it. Then, if there is still a problem, go to the head and ask for a meeting - they can't say speak to the teacher, as you will have evidence you already have. Do the same thing with them. If there are still problems, go to the governors. Hopefully, you won't need to do all this. Good luck. Your daughter is absolutely entitled to her ehcp allocation, and the failures in the education system are not her fault, and shouldn't impact on her . Much as I have sympathy for the shit teachers are dealing with currently, this should NOT be passed on tonyou and your daughter.

My friend had the exact same problem as you, so you are not alone.

My friend fought long and hard to get funding from the LA for a 1-1 support worker for her son, at school.
Same thing happened, and the teacher started to use the support worker as an unofficial TA for other children.

My friend really had to put her foot down and complain, as it was affecting her son.

Listening to my friend, this is my advice.
Do not feel guilty.
Yes, there are problems with support in schools and yes, teachers need more support. But that isn't your fight.

You are your daughters advocate and you have clearly fought long and hard for this funding.
Unfortunately, as you are now seeing, you also need to keep fighting to keep it and make sure others dont take advantage of it.

My friend said to me that she understands the frustration that other children dont get the same support and she is more than happy to help other parents to get the funding for their children.
But, she will not be sharing hers sons funding.

Are you fucking kidding me?

This teacher is incredibly fortunate that I'm not the SEN parent because i would have gone nuclear by now.

If she needs help she should ask the Head for it.
If she wants to advocate for the other SEN kids she can do that within the correct processes.

But she is 100% completely out of order to challenge, disrupt, or make any comment on your child's 1-2-1 which you've fought so bloody hard for.

I'd be having a word with teacher and spelling this out in no uncertain terms but I'd also put in writing the issue to the SEN and be clear that this one teacher his having a negative effect on what has previously worked so well.

I've been through this and I sympathise.