AIBU that the other children are not my responsibility

[Youngandbeautifuliwish]

I am aware I may get flamed.
DD has complex medical needs and SEN but is academically able.
we have thankfully a very good EHCP which is fully funded by the LA rather than the budget going to the school and so the LA Employ her 1–1 directly and she follows DD so when DD is in school she is in school
when DD is at home she is at home etc
we are very thankful and it does mean that all DD 1-1 interventions are done and she is dedicated solely to DD.
recently this years school teacher is clearly not happy with the system and keeps raising complaints / changing the routine and being a bit huffy about things and saying things like “ she is not the only child with sen in the class “ aiming at the amount of intervention her 1-1 gives her compared to what the others get. Now she is very complex which is why.
I understand the frustration but we fought hard and along time to get all the support in place it wasn’t something that happened over night.
previous years have been fine and the school are very understanding in terms of management but this year has unraveled a bit and is causing EBSA and school refusal.
I guess usually they can stretch the 1-1 as they please and she is overwhelmed maybe in the class so would like extra help
but I don’t believe this should come from my DD package and however much I wish I could improve sen provision I am not going to allow it to effect my daughter ?

Or don't
I imagine OP has enough on her plate and doesn't especially want to act as an unpaid assistant for other parents

Quite. I almost had to lie down in a darkened room for a year after our SEN tribunal battle. I even took an easy secondment for a while. I was so frazzled.

YANBU at all. I'd spell out very politely one more time in writing to the teacher that the 1-1 is funded for your DD only, and as such isn't available to help other DC unless it benefits your DD. And then if that doesn't work, speak to the head.

We've had the same problem in the past. My dd had a 1:1 fully funded through the LA. All went well in the first tear but then the next year the teacher couldn't seem to grasp that this person was solely employed for my daughter and not by school. But thankfully my dd wonderful 1:1 put the teacher straight. Could your child's support 1:1 talk to her teacher?. I'm glad to see you've got a meeting in place to try and get the issues resolved.

This is very much out of order by the teacher. She shouldn’t be saying no. Big discussion with teacher and HT needed.

This a hundred percent

Did they do a settle in time? My DD has 3 different 1:1 tutors at home via the school (independently hired by the school through an agency), they're brilliant! Each teacher and DD were given a few weeks to see how they felt about working together and they all settled in and have stayed for 1.5 school years so far. They'd never complain about that as they have loads of 1:1 children in various states of being able to complete lessons or even attend ... they're all very helpful, as were the other ones provided by the LEA.
Perhaps ask if your DD can have a different teacher as this one clearly isn't cut out for 1:1

I would set out clearly in writing why this is all inappropriate and unacceptable. Email (for clear paper trail) either to the teacher alone or both the teacher and HT. Could also request a follow up in person with both of them there. Then there can be no confusion and if there is any further pushback from teacher it can be set out openly and transparently with all parties present.

If they aren't following the legal document echp, then you report it higher up.
They can get into a lot of trouble for not following it.

We had the same thing when my eldest was in primary, he had a 1:1 full time but in the end had all of 6 hours 1:1 a week as she was being used for the other kids.
I sent him to a SEN school after that, never had a issue since and he's flourished. Is this not a option?

In these circumstances I would suggest writing a standard complaint email and sending it in literally every time the TA is pulled away from your DD.

As you say, there are circumstances where 1:1 is not appropriate - eh facilitating a small group so your DD can work in groups. However this is for your DD's benefit not the rest of the group.

It's possible the teacher is not aware of the funding situation/does not understand the legal situation.

So I would draft something like this:

Hi,
I'm emailing just to let you know that I understand that today (DD's TA's name) was not permitted to take DD out for her 1:1 intervention. As I am sure you are aware DD has an EHCP which is a legally binding document of the support she will be given. If this support is refused again I will need to look at making an official complaint and discussing this with the appropriate authorities.

I would be grateful if you could ensure your legal obligations are met as I would prefer not to go down the official complaints route.

Thank you

I'd raise it with your daughter's 1:1, and say "I know this is a bit awkward but the teacher has made a couple of comments which make me think she might not understand that you've been allocated to my daughter, and not just a general TA for the class?" And see what she/he makes of it.

If there is no other TA in the classroom maybe the school Just thought they could use your child's 1:1 and not pay another TA for the rest of the children, which is unfair on your daughter, her 1:1 and all other SEN children in that class who might benefit from a more general TA.

Well this is the issue
previously when she had a 1-1 32.5 hours ehcp there was many issues in the TA being a whole TA rather than her 1-1 and it all broke down which is why this nee system was put in place after a lot of fights and a breakdown in education the LA took over funding and put the current arrangement in place.
it has worked well for the last 2 school years - she blossomed, she loved school
again and really caught up. Now this year I spent most of my nights dealing with s child who is adamant she has a belly ache and going to throw up all night.

No, ultimately you can only be responsible for your DD.

My DD has SEN and I got her in by appeal to a school that will meet her needs. It was really difficult. I sometimes feel guilty that she got into that school while friends with SEN are struggling at the local school. It's also a church school and I assume church funding is why they have so much support for SEN. I don't even believe in church schools or grammars. All schools should be good. But ultimately I had to do what was best for my DD.

Go up to the school and request they clarify the ‘misunderstanding’ with the teacher

Then if it continues complain.

Unfortunately the problems had by other children are ones we have to end up sounding very uncaring of as a parent as we have to advocate for our children.

Getting a fully funded 1-1 is incredibly hard - you’re absolutely right to insist to the school that they are used appropriately for your DD

Sounds like a bad teacher.

I'd recommend when you raise it with school to do so in writing then if you get comments like that in writing forward to the LA who are funding via your EHCPCO. School are legally bound to facilitate/provide what's in the EHCP if the TA is being shared out they are not following the EHCP and your child is showing signs this is having a negative effect. Absolutely mention this when you write to school.

I would 100% send a similar email to the head teacher and teacher.

Make it very clear legal action will be taken if it continues.

That’s awful OP!

Go straight to the head and chair of governors and make a formal complaint. If this is 121 funding intended specifically for your DD, the school is acting unlawfully in preventing your DD from accessing her entitlement (not to mention putting the 121 TA in a very awkward position). There is no way the teacher won’t know that her TA is specially for her, that’s impossible.

When you make your complaint, copy in the LEA SEND team as well. This is truly disgusting and doing your child a massive disservice (as evidenced by their behaviour).

I’d request a meeting with the teacher and SENCO together and share the agenda for this in advance so that all of the issues are covered. I suspect the SENCO will have something to say about your DD not being allowed to have (medical?) interventions as required! SENCO will also have to reinforce the message that the TA is solely for your child to the teacher if this is a 3 way meeting.

I think you should be writing a formal letter to the teacher, maybe also the head, reminding them of the words of the EHCP and where the funding comes from. It isn't the teacher's prerogative to be redirecting the TA's time and the comments need to stop.

I'd be raising merry hell at this ignorant teacher making your daughter refuse school. Imo you're being way too reasonable and need to get your fighting gloves on again (appreciate how fucking draining that must be).

Take it up with the head

If the teacher wants a TA for the whole class they will have to ask for one. If they can't hack it they'll have to leave the role to someone who can

Am i understanding this right? She is attempting to steal resources from a child with complex needs in order to make her job easier?

This email is spot on.

If the SENCO is supportive, I would add a line requesting a meeting with the SENCO and class teacher to ensure that everyone involved in your daughter’s care is aware of the terms of her EHCP.

It might be worth doing a little investigating too - classes in primary schools tend to have a TA attached to each class in my experience. Has this class teacher perhaps not been allocated a TA this year on account of your daughter’s one to one being in the room? Schools are rightly or wrongly having to cut financial corners everywhere and I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the case. It would perhaps explain the teacher’s attitude (not that I’m justifying it!!) If that’s the case, then this would be something to take to the headteacher and chair of governors, who would have been the ones to make that decision.

That's how I understand it to

The teacher is obviously struggling to help all the children with sen in the class. She/ he should just do the best they can and stop trying to keep everyone happy. Unfortunately if she’s the only adult available for the rest of the children then lots of them will have to survive without any help. He/ She is only one person.
Tbh as a child gets older it can be beneficial for the child not to be shadowed 24/7 at school. Some independence should be encouraged in an age appropriate way.
All you can do is speak to the teacher and say what you’ve said here.