Cleaner told me off

[PremiumRaa]

I usually get to work early to get ready for the day as it's easier for me after a long ish commute. The work toilets are separate large cubicles with a toilet and sink in each one so I take my make up bag into work and usually spend 15-20 mins in one before I go into the office.

This morning I got ready at work as usual and as I left the cleaner was leaning on the main door waiting for me to come out so he could go in and clean. I had left some rubbish (an empty paper bag and a napkin) on top of the bin as the bin lid wasn't working when I pressed the foot pedal.

The cleaner looked annoyed as I left and then went into the cubicle. I had only walked a few steps down the corridor before he called me back shouting "lady lady!" And then beckoned me into the toilet, gestured at the rubbish saying "this is you - these are clean toilets" and picked up the rubbish and put it on top of my handbag then picked up some paper towels from the floor and stuffed them onto the top of my bag as well whilst complaining.

I was so shocked and embarrassed I took the rubbish and walked away and put it in another bin. I felt really stressed like he's going to report me to building services or something. The toilet was clean it was just the rubbish on top of the bin and I think he was annoyed waiting outside for a while. WABU?

Or the OP is bilingual and translated them?

Or lots of people can understand English better than they can speak it. I myself can understand pretty much all of a German conversation when I am reading it and slightly less when listening to it but my spoken German leaves a lot to be desired.

English isn't his first language but he is fluent and can read English fine.

He is pleased everyone seemed to agree he was right to call her back and take her own rubbish and also the points about her using the cubicle for too long as he said that was annoying and rude as well.

I told him he shouldn't have given the rubbish back and put it on her bag - that's what he was then worrying about but after reading the replies realise he was on balance ok to do so. Hopefully she won't report as she would look bad.

Yes you are unreasonable.

There's quite a few people here expressing that your husband's response was unreasonable? Just the fact that the woman using the loo was also unreasonable doesn't mean he's absolved of responsibility.

@ClaudiaWankleman a couple but I'm going with the overwhelming majority saying he wasn't BU.

Reverse my behind.

Who leaves rubbish on the lid of a bin and tissues on the floor after occupying a cubicle for reasons other than the essentials, for 20 mins, first thing in the morning in a busy workplace?

You either use the bin or take rubbish with you.
Not surprised the cleaner called you out. Do your makeup somewhere else if it takes that long. It's a shared facility. How selfish.

Reverse, reverse?

YABVU, leaving your mess for someone to tidy, AFTER you've made them 20 min late because you are using the work toilets as a salon 🤔

I agree it doesn’t add up as a reverse.

How would the cleaner know the lady who left the rubbish had a long commute and that’s why she was applying make up in the toilet if they had never met before?
Or how many days a week she worked?
How did he know what she was doing in the toilet in the time she was in there?

How did he know the sanitary disposal bin didn’t open? It’s not his job to empty that bin.
Was it just an assumption that’s why the rubbish was left there?

Were these details just to hide the fact it’s a reverse post?

In the OP she appears concerned she’ll get into trouble for leaving the rubbish, what’s the point of the reverse if the worry was that the cleaner would get into trouble? No one would have addressed that as it wasn’t the question asked.

The OP didn’t say it was a reverse after just a few replies but kept it going then mentioned the reverse after lots of people called her out on her behaviour.

And (this admittedly is a bit of a reach) When her partner told her what happened why did he say he called out “Lady, Lady?”
Why didn’t he just say he called after her? Was he telling the story of what happened word for word? If English isn’t his first language then why would he consider that to be rude and add it to the story?

I’m admittedly sceptical to that bit because English isn’t my DP’s first language and he wouldn’t have been concerned about how he called after someone unless he was aware he’d been rude.

I’m not saying this didn’t happen - I’m pretty sure it did, but I agree she’s just trying to wriggle out of it after getting a unanimous negative response!

Yeah. That’s stretching it a bit.

reads like

am I bu
everyone. Yes.
oh well it’s a reverse them, I’m not really unreasonable.

Why is your partner timing how long a female spends in the toilet? It's none of his business how long or why she is in there.

Infact, how did he know the rubbish was hers unless he cleaned them, came out, then waited to see who the first female was to go in, then stood around timing her? He sounds a bit strange.

@Megifer he said she was the first one in there this morning. It's a quiet floor and most people don't arrive until 9am she was early.

@Megifer he isn't strange he was waiting to service the facilities and so knew how long she was in there.

😂😂😂

No it isn't.

So how does he know she has a long commute,and gets changed and does make up in the toilets for 20 minutes every morning and that she might report him to building services and that she found another bin??? 🤔

@WittiestUsernameEver
I kept the part of the story of what he did real I wanted genuine replies

Sure thing.

Took a bit of a gamble at being so certain it was her rubbish and so certain she was the first one in. He's very lucky.

But the whole back story is very very well fabricated....

So he stood outside a female toilet knowing a female, the only one in the building apparently, was in there instead of cracking on with something else? And he went in and knew the rubbish was from her and not from someone the previous day?

Yep. He's weird. And a bit stalkerish.

Op if this isn't a reverse in all seriousness it sounds like this cleaner has an unhealthy interest in your routine.

It's not a reverse he didn't have anything else to do at that time so was waiting and admittedly getting fed up as she was taking a really long time then annoyed she had left it in the state she had.

Wait, what? It’a not a reverse? I’m so confused…