To hate taking toddler round peoples houses

[Jenny245]

It’s my idea of hell. My friend who has a baby doesn’t get it. She says oh bring him along! I say I don’t want to because he’ll destroy your house. She laughs it off. But it’s not enjoyable for me, I’m up and down every 2 seconds because he’s into everything. I don’t want to spend my time saying no repeatedly, I’d rather meet outside and let burn off energy.
What’s put me off also going around is the gathering is at 4pm. Would you take a toddler somewhere at 4pm even if their bedtime was at 6pm and had nursery the next day?

I wouldnt put myself in a position where I couldn't go out after about 3pm because of a toddlers bed time.

No I wouldn't bother tbh

4 pm is a good time I’d have thought - between nap and bedtime.

But if you have a toddler who needs a lot of supervision, no it’s not fun. You can’t socialise with your friends when you’re ‘ on duty’ - but why not go just for an hour and take a favourite toy or activity with you?

I often read about toddlers going to sleep quite early and think I must be doing something wrong😅 my 1&2 year old go to bed around 8:30/9!

Anyway OP I just wouldn’t go. Sounds like a hassle and there’s nothing worse than being all stressed out watching the little one when you’re wanting to relax/socialise. I rather just stay at home

Absolutely no way. 4pm onwards is grizzle time for my children and they need to be watched like hawks at all times. These things are no fun for them and behaviour can be awful. It's just draining. I hate it when I feel bounced into attending events that I know aren't suitable, and then afterwards feel judged that my toddler was excitable and noisy.

I totally agree with you. It's knackering taking a toddler to a non child proofed home. We only do it on the odd occasion ie for an event or something. My toddler is very lively but also enjoys being in his pushchair so I either invite people round to us where he can play in his own space or go out for a walk all together. I try to be home no later than 5 so I can make his dinner before we start bedtime routine. We have on occasions though taken his PJs and milk with us if we've gone to a family event or something and set off back at his bedtime so he can fall asleep in the car. We dont do it often but can do it if needed.

If I never got to see the person then yes I would but if I could see them the following week at a different time in a non stressful environment then probably not

@Sadiee0 Is that because you wouldn't have kids? Or because you have kids who fall into your lifestyle pattern?

Personally OP I'm with you. I rarely brought my toddler to friends houses. Yes, to family members homes (mum, sister etc) as I knew DD would be fine to potter and explore and make mess without me being stressed and it'd be a whole family support approach.

I'm going for the first time with 4year old DD to a friends this weekend and have arranged for DH to collect her after a couple of hours because 1.) I can't be bothered being up and down and not properly catching up with my friends (don't have young kids, older pre teens), and 2.) I want to enjoy a chat and a glass of wine!

If I'm going out I make sure I arrange with friends for a nice evening do so I can actually chill,or they come to mine around bedtime so they can say night and then we can order and relax properly!

I’m with you about not meeting in people’s houses and my DC is 4.

Im not with you about 4pm being too late.

4pm I'm getting my 17 month olds dinner ready, he eats at 4:30 and we're bath/jammies on from 6:30 so we don't make plans after 2:30 at the moment so I'd be turning down an invite at 4

No it’s perfect time for us. When Ds was smaller he would have napped after lunch so between 1-3 napping at some point. Bedtime has never been at 6pm.
My Ds is now 3, almost 4, and we often spend early afternoon after nursery having time at home to play and get stuff done, then I head out with him at 4pm to supermarket, friends over or visit friends, on his bike etc. Bedtime is around 8.30pm

Especially in summer it’s too hot early afternoon, so 4-7pm is ideal

My first ds was quiet, calm and used to just sit there and watch other children. Meeting in people's houses would've been great (COVID baby). DS2 is a hurricane. I've stopped baby courses because he just pushes around the furniture, goes for the other babies' hair or heads straight for the wires. He needs to be outside, running, climbing. He's only 14 months and is already all over the joint.

4pm is too late for me too though I would go out if it wasn't regular. I go into the garden a lot at that time.

I always had to head home with mine at about 4/4.30pm when they were toddlers. They were done with the day and getting tired and ready for bed. It was a pain in the butt in the summer but they just wanted to be in bed by 6ish.

I never had a toddler who went to bed at 6pm.

I did, however, have two who were later diagnosed with ADHD.

I didn't (and wouldn't if I had my life over again) stop taking them places because they were hard work though.

I took things with me to distract them. I was ready to step in and distract them. I was also ready to take them home (or out of the situation) when that was needed.

I was aware they were hard work but also that it would do me no good to become isolated because I wasn't prepared to put in that work. Also, that it would do them no good not to go to all sorts of places and start the whole journey of learning how to behave in different places.

Whether it is 'worth it' to you for this particular situation, we can't say. But as a rule, parenting is hard work sometimes - it comes with the territory.

@WouldYouLikeMeToSpellThatForYou I have kids I just never put them to bed until more like 7:30pm-8pm when they were little as they wouldn't have seen much of the day being in bed at 6pm. Just my opinion.

Yeah my lot got collected from nursery between 5 and half past so no way we're they in bed at 6 pm. 8pm was more like it

If you don't think it will be enjoyable, don't go. It's a short phase, in a couple of years things will be much easier.

If I wanted to see the person I would go, but probably just stay a short time. If there are lots of people the child might be distracted from trashing the house, you can always leave if it gets out of hand.

I suppose we’ve had this routine for a long time bedtime at 6:30 because I wanted the evenings to myself. I’m a SAHM so it’s full on lol DD has a morning nap , lunch, dinner at 4/5pm then be shattered come 6ish. I could try do a later nap so she’s not so grizzly. Thanks for the tip about taking something to distract her.

What time does she get up?

Do what is right for you and your child. I wouldn't go out at 4pm with my then toddler.

I had a toddler who was very full on and used to be a hyperactive nightmare from 4pm until she crashed out to sleep at 6pm. If we missed the window to get her to sleep around then she would be wired until 10pm and very difficult to settle. She's now 9yo, still struggles with self regulation ( awaiting adhd assessment) but sorts herself out with bedtime at about 9.30pm now. We were stuck for many years. 2nd child - not like that at all, much more flexible with bedtime. Apparently I was a very similar hyperactive child too.

The few times we did stay up - the feedback was always that they then understood why we did early bedtimes!

Other people won't understand and will tell you to take you child out to friends houses and put them to bed later. They will think you are precious as we see the world from our perspective. Just like I struggled to understand a friend whose child was still eating pureed food at 2yo as he spat everything else out. My child ate anything and everything given to her. Its just the way they are made!

Nah

Meet at the park instead

The odd time mine fell asleep in car at 6.30pm, he was awake at 4am..

Even with 8.30pm bed he wakes at 6-6.30am.

Most children only go to bed really early if they sleep like 12hrs+ like you read in books. I unfortunately don’t have one of those.

I wouldn’t because of the constant supervision, irs exhausting and stressful.
With my first I would have said 6pm too early and you can’t not go anywhere after 4pm but my second is no longer a toddler and really really grumpy late afternoon so that’s another reason not to go.
cant sue meet you at the park or something

I have no idea what this even means. They go to bed when they need to go to bed.

6pm bedtimes are a godsend. I'd be gutted if mine went to bed later and I didn't have evenings with my husband, just the two of us.

All this talk of naps on the thread makes no sense either at some point they drop naps but still need a lot of sleep.

OP my 2 ½ year old goes to bed bang on 6pm too. Sleeps 6-7 and nursery days start at 8:30. He has dinner at 4. I go to friends' houses who also have children and get it, your friend will understand soon enough as her baby grows. Otherwise, I also prefer to meet up to do something outdoors so he can burn off energy before going to a café.

If we are going to something out of the usual routine I make sure to run the legs off him in the morning and then we drive to visit whoever it is (a lot of our family/friends are at least a half hour drive away). He always drops off in the car so he gets a rare nap and means we can stay out longer. He eats dinner out and we get home for a bit of a later bedtime. He might be knackered when we get home but it's only now and again.

Do what works for your family.

4pm is what we called the witching hour when they were 2/3years old. No way would I go for a meet up then! I found the best time for friends was lunch. Feed kids, take for brief walk, toddler fell asleep in buggy and then we stick the kettle on and had an hour or so peace!
I had kids who were in to everything. However they were book worms even from todderlhood so a bag of books and other things to play with kept life a bit easier.