Disabled nappy changes

[Helplessandheartbroke]

Hello lovely mumsnetters!

I'm looking for some assistance please. My amazing ds is 4 and is SEN. He's non verbal and is currently still in nappies. I'm finding it harder and harden to change his nappy in public place. Ie themeparks, restaurants, the zoo etc. This is due to the size of the changing facilities being made for babies. I appreciate most 4 year olds are out of nappies however, a lot aren't. I'm not even sure how to go about this but I want to campaign to bring awareness to this issue that I and many mums are facing. Before I email my local mp and the British toilet association, I just wanted some advice from my fellow mumsnetters.

Is this problem as big as I think? Aibu to raise this issue? Thanks

It is a problem for a subsection of disabled people. Changing Places toilets are becoming more common, but there still isn’t anywhere near enough.

It’s a big problem for families. I used to take a large thin roll up mat with me to change DD on. Luckily she wasn’t very tall and she toilet trained well before high school.
Have you looked at https://www.changing-places.org/ ?

Thanks both. I've just emailed changing places for some advice :)

My disabled child is out of nappies now but he was in them untill he. was around nine ,as others have said there are not enough changing places.

Once again MN posters have shown me something I'm ignorant of. I've never considered this issue!

This must be so difficult.
to all coping with this.

as a sen parent we 100% need more disabled changing places!

I see more Changing Places now I look for them (disable nephew). But probably only in about 5% of the places I go to the loo in. It's bloody depressing.

My son uses a toilet now so I'm trying to remember how big an issue this was but I can't remember. I think potentially we tended to go out as much as possible in the afternoon so he'd already been and I could change wet ones while he was stood up. So I think probably that means that facilities were completely inadequate.

It's definitely an issue for many disabled people - I think emailing Changing Places for support is a good idea. Btw, there are various apps and websites that show you access information that you might find useful as your DS grows, including bathroom info. e.g. Euan's Guide, Sociability, and AccessAble

There isn't a single changing places facility within this town (about 7000 people). In the neighbouring city of c. 200k people, there is one (in a leisure centre, well outside the city centre). It's a disgrace. One of our local councillors was lobbying the council for one but it doesn't seem to have progressed.

It's an issue for children but must be an even bigger issue for adults.

I need to use a disable loo and I have only encountered 2 with the adult sized changing table. I think one of the problems is of the room it takes up. The loo has to be really spacious to accommodate the large table, plus carer and wheelchair. One was in a shopping centre and the other was in Henley by the river.

It's a huge issue for us my daughter is 8 will never be toilet trained to the extent that Nappies won't be needed due to her condition. Alot of the time we manage to do it stood up and I just hope the disabled toilet is clean as she's immunocompromised and touches everything, I usually end up covered in poop. There have been times I've put clothing down on the floor or shower curtains and had to just act like that's totally OK and normal so she doesn't feel any shame or worry. I can't tell you how many times I've silent cried on the way out when she can't see or how anxious I feel when she says she needs changing, often having to resort to parking in an isolated spot in a car park and laying her in the boot of my car rather than risk the facilities that are so called disability friendly. Unless you live this life you literally cannot imagine the fear.

My advice would be look up Laura Moore and don't bother campaigning. She tried, she was bullied so badly by the Daily Mail comment section and factions of social media that she left for good. It broke her spirit.

Don't take on this fight. Adapt your days out and if necessary, change in the car. That's what everyone I know does.

It’s definitely an issue and definitely raise it! There’s nowhere enough Changing Places!
Guessing the 43% of posters who’ve voted you’re being unreasonable have never tried to changing an older child’s pad on an often dirty toilet floor !!!!

My 12 year old DS wears nappies, but he is able to stand to be changed.

It's horrible squatting down on the floor of the disabled toilets to change him though. He's in the pull- up style nappy so I have to remove his shoes, AFOs, pants and trousers every time which can be tricky when the disabled toilets aren't big enough or the floor is grim. The changing places toilets are so much better but are few and far between.

Is "everyone you know" trying to change an adult?

Is your child able to stand OP? My son has Autism and learning disability, non verbal, also still in pads at 9. Most special schools will teach those who are able, to stand for changes, even for bms. Otherwise changing places as previously suggested but also some disabled and parent/child and baby change toilets may have a bench. When my DS was younger we sometimes had a change mat in the car for changes in the boot but really only ok when they’re little or you can screen / provide some privacy.

Agree with this - some are horrible with wet dirty floors. We usually take a carrier bag to stand on - then it can just be chucked away.

What county are you in OP? Posters might have venues to recommend.

@Sprinkles211 I am so sorry that this is your reality. Despite frequent contact with younger children and teens with disabilities I am quite ashamed that I had no idea that this was such an issue . Anyone looking after a disabled individual should have all the support they can possibly have . You are doing a tremendous job .

This must be so, so difficult for those affected. Why on earth is anyone voting YABU?

Even when the floor of disabled toilets is clean and dry there are the times it is out of order, being used (fully or partially) as a store room, isn’t big enough to lay DS down (teen DS1 wears slips but we can’t change standing)…

@Soonenough thank you it's just one of the many things that are unfortunately a reality. We booked a holiday to disney world florida £11,500 and the only place we could change her if she needed to lay down was the first aid room!!! There is ONE per park at the entrance. This is marketed as the most magical and disability friendly place on earth. We cancelled in the end refusing to spend that much money (inheritance) when they don't even consider a safe place to change with dignity a priority even at that price and with the volumes of people with complex/severe special needs that visit. (This was 2020 I have no idea if they've now got one I'd bloody hope so)

I change my Autistic DD standing up, but I appreciate that’s not for everyone. Stupidly, I’ve only recently twigged that I’m not being a bad person if I use an accessible toilet. The extra space is very useful when there’s 2 people and a large backpack. Makes it even easier when I can bring the pushchair in there too.

How would yoy change a teenager or an adult in a car?my Disabled teen is out of nappies now fortunately ,but many of his contemporaries in his special school are still in nappies/Pull ups ,some children /adults will never get out of continence products .