Disabled nappy changes

[Helplessandheartbroke]

Hello lovely mumsnetters!

I'm looking for some assistance please. My amazing ds is 4 and is SEN. He's non verbal and is currently still in nappies. I'm finding it harder and harden to change his nappy in public place. Ie themeparks, restaurants, the zoo etc. This is due to the size of the changing facilities being made for babies. I appreciate most 4 year olds are out of nappies however, a lot aren't. I'm not even sure how to go about this but I want to campaign to bring awareness to this issue that I and many mums are facing. Before I email my local mp and the British toilet association, I just wanted some advice from my fellow mumsnetters.

Is this problem as big as I think? Aibu to raise this issue? Thanks

It is an issue and is life limiting for those who need changing places facilities.

Before DC I worked for a city museum with a changing places. In the city, there was us, the football ground and the large leisure centre with changing places. That was all, the football ground was on the edge of the city, the leisure centre was at the other side, we were in the middle. The amount of visitors we got who required changing places was surprising to anyone not familiar with the issue. Our museum was visited by people needing changing facilities purely because of it having a changing places. I was lucky enough to chat to some people who needed changing places and one of my projects was to increase inclusion and how to make our museum more accessible for visitors.

Changing places are much more inclusive of disabilities than disabled toilets. Disabled toilets generally do not have hoists, changing benches, adequate space for someone to transfer safely from a chair or mobility aid, adequate space to have help from 1 or more carers. Some only have small sanitary bins designed for period sanitary items rather than continence items. There are many people who require changing places for a variety of reasons.

Unfortunately changing places are expensive to install and require quite a large footprint. Many councils are cash strapped now. The square footage required makes it difficult to convert existing toilet facilities to changing places. Equipment is expensive and in some very sad cases is open to abuse, misuse and purposeful damage by some in society.

As a parent of a high centile toddler, we were always struggling with the weight limits and my DD is very tall so didn't fit on the baby changing tables long. We ended up using mats on floors (grim), changing on knees, stand up changes, car boot changes, pushchair laid back changes.

Alot of shopping centres have started putting a changing bench in like a double one but they put them in the baby change then don't have a lock on the door which when you have a child age 3+ I think allowing them privacy when being changed is important. I've had people huffing and puffing at me because my partner stopped someone coming in whilst I changed my daughter even after he had explained why I was looked at like shit on her shoe when we came out.

It isn’t possible for all, but it is sometimes possible to change teens in the car. We do when it is the best option. It isn’t easy and isn’t the most dignified, but when the only other alternative is the men’s toilets or women’s toilets or not changing at all it is the best option available. We have a large car and put the seats down.

Yes, my 7YO is still in nappies. Access to being able to change him is one of the most complicated parts of any day out planning. About to hit a new issue as he reaches an age where he really shouldn't be in the women's with me any longer! Once they hit 4/5 anyone who thinks keeping them in nappies is the lazy option has clearly never had to manage it

That's the other issue that @Sprinkles211 has highlighted. Quite a few shopping centers have lumped changing benches in with the baby change rather than a proper changing places. So they have a baby change room with 6 or 7 stations plus a changing bench at one side of the room. It's effectively a communal baby change, the bench isn't screened off, it's next to the other baby changing stations. Not so much of a problem for someone under the age of 3, but is humiliating for an older child, teenager or adult who needs to use the changing bench. Our local shopping centre also has a much larger toilet with all the handles (no hoist though), but it's lumped in with the baby change room so used almost exclusively by mum's with prams rather than as a separate facility.

How does he fare if you sit him on the toilet whilst taking his nappy on and off? I find it's easier as I don't have to deal with tiny changing tables or risk touching the floor with their socks.

Wow thanks so much for all the replies and I'm so sorry there's so many of us struggling with this. Thank you for some of the suggestions they're really helpful. I've changed him in the boot a few times but he's very tall for his age so I don't think it's an option for much longer. He can stand its just in the case of soiled nappies its more of an issue. I'm in Manchester for the poster who asked. Sending solidarity ladies x

@TigerRag adult teenagers, 18+, severely disabled with double incontinence ranging from able to stand to no mobility at all, yes.

This is something that Rishi Sunak seems to genuinely care about - he talked about it a lot before he was even a minister, and is part of the reason that there are the (low!) number of changing places that we have today.

I’m very, very much not a Tory and most of what he’s done is crap. But he’s on the right side here.

Not a reason for me to vote for him, but I really hope that he’ll use what time he has left to do more here.

@x2boys A lot of parents and carers I know drive their adult child's adapted van. Plenty of space in those.

When I worked with SEN teens we would change their nappies standing up.

Not sure if this helps, but there is a company called RevoLootion: https://www.revolootion.org.uk/ who have mobile disabled units with adult changing tables and hoists etc that businesses/events can hire.

I appreciate it's not ideal because you'd have to really plan ahead, but if there's somewhere you specifically wanted to take your DC, often if you contact that event (sports event/circus/whatever) and ask if they can arrange a unit so that you could visit on x date, many companies would oblige. Presumably it also looks good for the business because it shows they're being inclusive, and most companies have budgets for such things.

Obviously this doesn't help if you just want to go the the park, but it might broaden other options for you.

I'm sorry this is your reality, not having this issue it hasn't been obvious to me how much of a problem this is. I can only think of 2 changing facilities I've seen which can accommodate older children and adults. One is at our local leisure centre, the other is at grand central in Birmingham. More does definitely need to be done.

This has blown my mind. Who the hell would be AGAINST this?!
OP like PPs on this thread, this is an issue I’m fortunate enough not to have and have never considered. It must be so difficult for you. 💐

My son is 5 in nappies and I change him standing up I find his legs very heavy to hold if he is lying and he wouldn't lie still. At least standing he can watch his videos and it's easier to change him especially when he makes a mess (sorry tmi)

Ds6 is still in nappies he stands up to be changed if he as done a wee but needs to lay down if he's done a poo.
I've not been anywhere that has a changing table big enough for him.
We do have a foldable one but even then don't want to put it on half the toilet floors has their filthy.

We have a mobility car but it's just a normal car , Ds, is out of nappies now ,but if he wssent i wouldn't have been able to change him in there

If your ever in Bolton there is a local charity shop called Breaking barriers in the market hall they have a changing area specifically for disabled children .

@x2boys thank you! That's good to know. I do visit Bolton on occasion mainly the middle brook but the centre too

I have more chance of winning the lottery than I do of doing a standing change on my child. He is never going to be able to stand. Luckily our new Motability van will have a hoist and a changing bench in it but we were very lucky to get a grants officer who future proofed the vehicle he will get.

Our local swimming pool is putting a Changing Place in the changing rooms but they won't be including any method of getting a person who is unable to sit unsupported into the water so although I will be able to change him I won't actually be able to get him into the water.

A lot of the larger train stations, a fair few motorway service stations amd even some supermarkets have changing places toilets. They aren't always signposted as such- changing room seems to be one of the more frequent ones I have seen.

On a good day I can manage just about to park my chair outside a standard disabled toilet and walk the few steps to the toilet. On a bad day I need to be hoisted onto the toilet. A CP toilet can make the difference between having a nice day out with my kids or stressing about toilets.

It's shit.isnt it it sorry for the pun my son is severely autistic and Was in nappies until he was 9/10 he's non verbal so at 14 we still have accidents but I can largely. Contain these at home,it's ridiculous at this day and age disabled adults and children are still fighting for their basic rights there should be changing places in every public places

I am in awe of all you parents. OP I think it's a great thing you're doing to change the situation. Thank you also for teaching me something I was ignorant about. I really hope there is progress made with public facilities soon!

I'm sorry but for some of us that is simply not possible.

I rely on CP toilets for the hoist.

I'm 36 and doubly incontinent. The situation is shit. But better than it used to be.

Yes, I'm in the same boat with sen 4 year old!