To have zero issues with other school gate mums?

[Oohooh]

It feels like every other person on here is convinced the school gate mums have it in for them.

I’ve made 2 ‘friends’ since DD started reception in September - mostly play dates but now and then we have a meal out or a few glasses of wine at each other’s houses in the evening.

Other than that I say hello and most seem perfectly pleasant, even if they’re not my ‘friend’ type (and I’m probably not theirs). I know there are other friendship groups among the mums but it doesn’t bother me at all, nor do I think they talk about me behind my back.

AIBU to think posters on here can be very unfair about school gate mums in general?

I'm with you. There always seems to be so much drama! I smile at people, have a quick chat with the ones I know but am generally in and out within a couple of minutes. I don't really know how people have time to wage wars on that time.

YANBU. I also think that the ones that have a problem are the problem! I've never experienced anything negative, I used to make small talk and be friendly and had no issues.

I don't speak to anyone at my kids school but I don't have any issues with anyone either I just keep to myself!

I agree, there are always posters saying school Mums are in cliques when in reality it's just Mums who may know each other who choose to spend a few minutes chatting.

three different children at many different schools. Only seen angst once (very young mum at a party of much older mums at private school and she was very drunk).
otherwise I made lots of friends and found people equally happy to help each other out.

I always enjoyed the yard at pick up. Met lots of lovely people.
Still friends with some now.

This! My 3 closest friends and I all have children at the same village school, it's lovely to see my mates at pick up or drop off, so of course we chat at the gates. I always smile or say hello to parents of other children in my DCs classes if I recognise them though.

I don't have any issues, I speak to them in passing, our kids meet and greet and everyone is pleasant, you get a few who forget manners I just ignore and avoid them. For instance recently one barged passed me to grab her kid first, basically qué jumped and looked at me like I was the problem. I would understand if she was in a rush, but she has done this for 2 years.

I only really have issues with the mum's terrible parking... Which is a none stop problem at my kids schools. And the few dad's who speed when leaving a spot and almost kill a toddler because they don't LOOK BEFORE they reverse. Sure you can't see the kid but the adult is big enough to see.

This thread do far gives me hope.

DC 1 - had no issues whatsoever with any of the parents.

DC2 - it’s been hell. A particular parent set themselves out to be the know it all and has deliberately ousted random parents and teachers and started vicious rumours, and taught the child to do the same.

Agree. I haven’t made friends with any. But everyone smiles and is pleasant and are nice to chat to at parties. I’ve not come across any bitchy cliques or anything like that.

I always got on fine with mums at my children’s school, but some were definitely not that pleasant and did gossip about others. With those mums I just kept it to hi and bye as much as possible. I don’t get involved with drama which sims of them definitely loved.

Most mums (and dads) were nice and we’d do play dates with the kids and occasional nights out with some of them. I wouldn’t call them friends but they were nice enough and they were/are the parents of my children’s friends so we made the effort.

I’d have said exactly the same as you a few months ago. Until one batshit mum I had become friendly with started some batshittery. Now I avoid them all! Cba with the drama. A smile and polite “oh I know” when someone mentions the weather is all I’m investing.

Never had any problems (my kids are now 16 and 18). I did keep myself to myself though - happy to say hi and have a casual chat but I wasn't looking to make best mates. I didn't gossip or get involved in any taking sides situations.
There were a few parents VERY involved in each others lives (joint holidays, regular dinners etc) and I know there were a few dramas with them falling out and making friends and falling out again. Watched from afar and was glad it wasn't me!

The problems come when there are friendship issues with the kids and people don't have the skills to navigate the situation- like 4/5/6 years from where you are now. I've had two school mum friends stop talking to me because one child got in trouble for hitting my child, even though it was a spur of the moment thing and I didn't feel it was a big deal, and another who has mental health issues and essentially had a drunken rant at me at a mutual friend's party because she didn't like my child's friendship with hers.you can only control your reaction to being in a small community and unfortunately not everyone has the life skills to step back and just get on for the sake of it. It's upsetting that it's happened but I don't think I'm the problem, and these things do happen in small
communities.

Some of my best friends are the mums I met from the school playground.

Never had any issues
.Don't believe in cliques. If people didn't speak to me I assumed they were busy, stressed or had their own problems. Nit that they hated me.

I know a few school parents and say hi to them, but more concentrated on getting my easily distracted DC through the gates.

The only thing I would like if more had some awareness of their surroundings and didn’t stop in the middle of pavements and gates to have a conversation or block the pavement entirely making it hard for the flow of traffic.

My DC1 started reception last year and I was dreading the pick ups etc due to the horror stories on here.
But I agree with you, there's no drama, everyone talks or atleast says hello/smiles.
I'm closer to two of them, other groups formed but everyone is polite.

I find the whole school run mums or school run fashion or dressing for the school run rhetoric a bit weird. It's just people going to a place to pick up kids. Like anything in life you like some people, don't like others. And why would I dress for that walk to pick up kids any differently to how I might dress to walk the same distance to the shop.

I honestly think it is mostly an MN trope. Like never answering the door. Or never eating alone in a cafe lest the waiter looks at you pityingly.

I've never experienced it either.

My friend (who is friendly to everyone and would hate to offend anyone) had a bit of an awkward one where a mum kept latching on to her and trying to be her new best friend, in an intense way.

I know someone else who said this.

Then their next child started school and they suddenly saw what it was all about.

I’m with you, I didn’t wish to be friends though and was more than happy to chat and be sociable when the occasion warranted or if we were all waiting. But I think some folks are lonely and want to be friends and object if folks don’t reach out to them and are friends with others.

My Dads are 18 and 20. I have a fantastic group of friends, ex PTA and primary school gate Mums.
The school gate thing is a massive sexist trope, lots of women together so they must be bitchy and awful.
Misogyny is what it is!

DDs, not Dads! Bloody Autocorrect!