To have zero issues with other school gate mums?

[Oohooh]

It feels like every other person on here is convinced the school gate mums have it in for them.

I’ve made 2 ‘friends’ since DD started reception in September - mostly play dates but now and then we have a meal out or a few glasses of wine at each other’s houses in the evening.

Other than that I say hello and most seem perfectly pleasant, even if they’re not my ‘friend’ type (and I’m probably not theirs). I know there are other friendship groups among the mums but it doesn’t bother me at all, nor do I think they talk about me behind my back.

AIBU to think posters on here can be very unfair about school gate mums in general?

I agree op. Too many women treat it like it’s some sort of validation of their whole self identity. It’s not. It’s just a set of logistics. And if you end up chatting to Jasmine’s mum or Toby’s childminder for the 10 mins you’re waiting then that’s a bonus. People are weird and cliquey in every walk of life, the school run is no different. You just have to not take it so seriously.

I read that the mums who don’t know about the clique ARE the clique. 😂😉 I’ve done the school run for 20 years in 5 schools and I would say each experience has been pretty much the same. The same ‘characters’ even in each setting. Something like an office where you have certain people repeated even in different offices.

There’s always a clipboard queen (in my first school I was her 😂🥴) There’s always a drama queen who latches onto a new victim bi annually. There’s always a couple of properly glamorous mamas. I think people are just people. Sometimes I think the school run can become the straw that broke the camels back for some people who have a lot on or a lot of stress in their everyday lives. That can lead to fallings out i find.

I have 2 DD and both have been different.
For the oldest, the parents in the playground were awful. But it was fed by a few which caused issues for many.
My youngest DD was 2 years below and the same issues weren't present.
There were very few parents with 2 children across those 2 years luckily.
It's also made a big difference in friendship groups.
They also moved to a bigger junior school and the same prevailed in both instances.
I think it's luck of the draw and only takes one or 2 people to turn it sour.

I just don’t care enough for any issues to exist. School parents get a nod or maybe a smile of our kids are friends that’s about it. I have a couple of their numbers from previous party invites so will occasionally arrange play dates in half terms but don’t get involved in anything beyond that.

If it’s any consolation I find this is really common. ♥️

I agree with you. People do not start a new job expecting to be best friends with everyone by the end of the week. Any friendship has to happen organically and not forced. Not sure why there is an assumption that friendships with other school parents will be any different.

Also agree that those who think there is a problem ARE the problem. When my ds2 started in reception there was another mum who was intimidated by those of us who already had school mum friends, yes because we had older children 🙄 but she was the one who has caused issues in WhatsApp groups and with individuals several times in the last 18 months.

People are not "bitchy" or "cliquey" because they want to talk to their friends. Some people click, others don't, that's life.

@FlowersInAFlowerBed no they don’t send them out to the car but i walk up to the gate…say hello and my child walks towards me…and we leave. Job done. No one “hangs around”

I wasn't expecting to make friends. I also wasn't expecting threats of violence and attempts at getting my kid kicked out of school.

our school isn't like that you have to come inside the playground and wait for your children's class to come out and then the teacher sends your child over to you, the classes can take a while to come out sometimes so there is a lot of hanging around especially those with more than one child to collect.