Need help with daughters weight

[DarcyHargrove]

My daughter is overweight, weirdly just round her middle, with skinny arms and legs!

She’s always hungry! And so so lazy. She will not do any exercise. She hates going for walks, refuses to ride her bike, will not to any sports etc. Our diets are healthy but she just eats so much. She’s only 10 but already over 5 stone.

Any advice??

My dd was a bit overweight at 10, then had a massive growth spurt over the year and is now 5ft 1 and very slim. Encourage a healthy diet, normal portions and try and move more as a family, so it doesn't seem like scheduled exercise.

This is my daughter too! She's 7 shortly and has proper curves but we know when she needs a poo or she's eaten too much because she bloated. Once she's been to the toilet her belly goes flat but she still has a big round bum and the beginnings of breasts. She has also naturally weaned herself off dairy and I wonder if that used to make her bloat too. We do lots of exercise to combat getting overweight as I feel with her shape it would be very easy to put on weight. Obviously this is all without her knowing- she's just doing lots of activities she enjoys and we never comment negatively about our bodies or food etc.

If her diet is healthy just try increasing the veg on her plate and decreasing everything else on plate so she has at last a 1/3 plate veg. If she wants snacks stick to fruit and veg sticks.

Mine have free access to fuit and veg sticks but biscuits etc or limited to one portion day after dinner. Pudding if they want once is fruit and yogurt

I know it’s not the done thing to search the op but the level of negativity made me hope it was a troll. Unfortunately I think the op needs get some help outside of mn as an advance search really suggests the op is on the road to causing her daughter emotional issues.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5035302-to-ask-if-you-ever-went-through-a-patch-of-not-liking-your-child-very-much?reply=134008545

Oh wow - agreed @SpeedyDrama !

Right so I can’t post for support or help on this website. Thanks.

Of only every child carrying too much weight on their stomachs was exactly the same as yours, the UK wouldn't have such a big problem with childhood obesity...

I'd suggest an exercise you can both do together?

A family martial arts class? Ninja Warrior? Sunday Park run?

Kids need to be doing exercise/active as part of their daily routine. If she refuses then put some consequences in place.

First post nailed it!

I think that's a bit harsh. If you actually read her posts on that thread she doesn't sound bad. Leave the OP alone she's trying to help her daughter find interests, be clean, tidy and not overweight without outwardly shaming her or telling her off. I could have done with some of that at her age.

I'm convinced that portion size is causing weight issues for many kids. It's shocking how many toddlers are served near adult-sized portions of food and drink, then given seconds or thirds when they ask for it. I also notice that in DH's family they immediately ask of someone wants seconds when the plate is nearly empty so the reflexive answer is yes. I had to tell DH to stop asking before DD has even finished her food so she can actually decide if she's full.

It's absolutely possible for kids or adults for that matter, to learn to be satiated on less. In some cultures like Japan, meals come in default tiny portions and people get accustomed to feeling 60-80% full after a meal. Eating speed is also a factor so slowing down the entire meal or waiting at least 5-10mins for seconds helps them consume less calories without any dramatic changes.

I would say start with 30% smaller portions. Also reduce the sizes of seconds or thirds dramatically. Reduce the proportion of carbs to veg/protein. One heaped tablespoon of rice or 1-2 medium potatoes is more than enough to give the "carby" feel to a meal, instead of piling half the plate full of carbs. Carbs are also softer and quicker to eat so it's easy to unknowingly consume a huge amount of calories in a short time. Replacing that with chewier food like steak or veg helps lengthen the meal.

If she doesn't have a health issue, it's your fault she is like this and you need to watch how you talk about her. You were supposed to walk a lot as a family and have sports as a normal part of life, you let her down and you're taking your laziness, your failings as a parent which is evident in your poor child's appearance as the child's fault. You are blaming your child to avoid blame on YOUR bad and lazy parenting. I feel so sorry for your girl. You're so mean to her after causing her to be like this.

What is her diet like? 5 stone doesn't seem too heavy?

Before secondary school her diet is pretty much in your control. Don't say anything, decrease portions increase vegetables and just make her walk places with you.

No, of course you can but your tone about your daughter on several threads suggests you see her as a problem and it’s causing you to dislike her. Until you recognise there is an issue with yourself in how you’re seeing your daughter, there isn’t much advice people here can give that can help the situation. You’re trying to fix your daughter without fixing your perspective.

I am fully aware that im the issue and that im a shitty mum. I can’t give her back though can I.

without outwardly shaming her or telling her off.

The op holds the opinion that her daughter is unhealthy, fat, lazy, dirty and has a thread on how she doesn’t like her very much and always telling her off. It’s quite evident that the negative view of her daughter is already spilling out and will cause issues if the op doesn’t manage what sounds like a pretty typical girl on the verge of puberty in a more delicate and understanding way.

You’re the twat mate not me.

Some ideas we have tried: swapped to smaller plate/bowl (for everyone). No seconds. Snacking is only fruit or veg (available any time).
Enrol in non-sport activity (brownies, choir, art class, music, drama). Walk to the park/shop/round the block before or after school one day (same day each week so it is routine). Kitchen disco night. Cosmic yoga or kids Zumba on YouTube (do it together). Geocache.

Just leave her alone. She's 10.

In another year or so, she'll be at secondary school, and everything may change by then. Puberty will hit, and she'll be into her looke and make up.

Bit of a tangent but have you considered coeliac? Laziness could be due to low iron levels from poor absorption, overeating could be her body craving vitamins.

Weight centred in the torso can be a sign of Cushings disease.

I find it hard to believe that a child has absolutely zero interest in doing any form of physical activity. I get that a lot of children aren't keen on walking because they see it as boring, but there are so many other ways to get exercise, surely there must be something she enjoys?

What DOES she enjoy doing? And what does she do?

Hi op, I used to find when mine wanted to eat more than I thought they needed, I would give them a sensible sized portion. When they then asked for more I would make sure they’d had a drink & tell them to wait 20 minutes. If they were actually hungry they would get more to eat after 20 minutes, but the majority of the time it was just habit of asking for more. I think it’s something to do with it taking the brain a little while to know that you’re actually full.