What would you do about this teacher

[Samcj02]

Hi,
what would you do in this situation? My daughter has struggled through high school, they think she has adhd but we don’t really have any issues with her at home. They say it’s because she’s a girl and that I and primary school have missed the signs.
anyway today I had a phone call from the school saying she’d had a bad day with a teacher and she needed to be collected right away, this was at 2.50pm her bus gets there at 3.30pm. I explained that I’d had to pick up her younger sibling from school this morning as he’d been sick and couldn’t leave my house with him. Her dad was over an hr away working also, anyway they did allow her to stay in the office and wait for her bus.
she arrived home absolutely distraught and sobbing saying this teacher had been really horrible to her. She accidentally spilt her water on the table and the teacher accused her of throwing it on purpose.
she was struggling with the work and asked for help, the teacher refused and then put her in isolation for not finishing the work which she couldn’t because she didn’t understand. This teacher also taught her brother and tells her all of the time he misbehaved and was horrible to teach, which I don’t know what has to do with DD And feel like she doesn’t like her because of her brother 🤦‍♀️
she then shouted at her that she didn’t want to see her on Monday and tried to suspend her after being in isolation for a while and taking her to the office for myself to be called!
i am worried it’s gcse year and she’s not learning anything 🤦‍♀️

I’ve had no correspondence from the school regarding suspension so I assume she’s not been. But AIBU to think this has been blown out of proportion? And the teacher should’ve helped her? 🙈

Really? I teach in a secondary school and don't know many schools where you can't send them to isolation!

@Samcj02 I'd wait until Monday to get the other side of the story. I dealt with an abusive parent the other week who accused me of immediately sending her son to isolation and another teacher verbally abusing him in the corridor before hand. That wasn't actually the case at all...

Whether your daughter has included all the gs ts or not I’m inclined to believe you because the thing we do know is that her behaviour was supposedly so bad she needed to come home early and yet no one had the decency to explain why? That seems like a red flag in itself. They effectively wanted to kick her out early but don’t let the parents know why?

*No problem! Any advice is welcome 😊
she struggles with retaining information mainly. It’s Macbeth and I think she struggles with the context of this also.

she gets nothing to support her, no. just a “time out” card if she needs to leave the room if she gets overwhelmed.*

That is nowhere near good enough in my opinion. The time out card is great for regulating, but it has no effect on helping her do the work. Can you ask her if any of the things I suggested might help her?

Obviously the issue with the teacher needs to be resolved, but also ask in the meeting what do they plan to do to actually support her and her learning. Even if she changes teachers , she might still find she's struggling, just with less conflict. Better emotionally/mentally ,but still a waste academically.

I get that the teacher wants her to be more independent, which is a good thing for most kids, but that's useless if it comes at the point of doing the task when she has no idea what is going on (even if it's her own "fault").She needs tools/resources /adaptations at the begging of the lesson so she can follow along and actually be able to do it (even if at the most basic level) when the time comes.

There are various things I could suggest, but they depend on her needs, what the school will agree to and what's feasible in that particular environment.

You say you're talking to her at the moment. Ask her if the teacher did explain the task during the lesson. Was she listening? If she wasn't does she understand how that might frustrating for the teacher? Especially if she got warned/told off a few times. That's an adult having to support and teach 30 children. That's not hate.Does she really,really believe the teacher hates her?

Honestly, I can't explain to you the feeling of...

Kids today we are doing x.
While we read the text do y to help you do x.
During reading reminder after reminder that this is important and check after check they are listening. Reminder that we are doing x.

Right this part is important because this is an example of x. What features do you notice? Make notes. You will do x in a similar way. Write down interesting vocabulary to magpie.

Reminder,check,reminder ,check. Reminder we are doing x.

Right kids today you will be doing x. You need to do a,b,c. Let's do an example together. Get suggestions, model x.

Ok it's your go now, we are doing x. Remember to include a,b,c. Use the model work,your notes and the passage from the book in the board for support.

Kid puts his hand up: Miiiiiiiss, what are we doing today?

I’m not the sort to go in all guns blazing just want it resolved and want what’s best for my daughters education

@Samcj02 I would start with an internet search for tutors and just search for SEN tutor plus your area and see what there is. You should be able to find someone. Or, if you have a local Facebook parents group you could post anonymously asking for recommendations.

Absolutely this will be something I’m bringing up! The teacher didn’t even call me herself and of course I understand she was busy but she just asked a member of the office to call to say she’d had a bad day, which she hadn’t just a bad lesson

Thank you for this I was always under the impression- no diagnosis, no support! I’ll be in touch with SEN at school on Monday

Not the case at all. Especially since many things are quite easy and don't require any extra funding, they might require extra work on the part of staff though(like adapting work,printing out stuff,filling in a checklist, providing her with a copy of the book/planning so she can do some learning in advance , vocab printed ,prompts etc.).

They can't say she has a need or suspect she has a need and do nothing. Especially when assessment/diagnosis can take at least 2 years now.

She said she was listening but she said she doesn’t understand Macbeth at all which is what they’re studying. I genuinely think she has trouble retaining information. She dropped history because she couldn’t remember the dates. She studied and revised so hard for he P.E mock exam
but got a low 4, she was devastated as she’d worked so hard but she said her mid goes blank. She does get extra exam time But I agree things need to be out into place for her! Thank you!

and I completely understand about listening. Slightly different context but I work in early years! It’s frustrating when I know they insert but chose to ignore or follow the simplest of instructions 😅

Thank you so much for this I’ll be putting it forward to the school. She just has a time out card as mentioned above.

Amazing! Thank you! I think this is a great idea for her and I take it most tutors come to the house? So she’ll be in the comfort of her own home too

Why would the teacher go so over the top if all she did was spill her water? Maybe attitude, backchat or messing around? Having worked with teenagers for 15 years I know how they tend to 'forget' these little details when retelling a story!

@Samcj02 tutors can be online, in your home or at a centre, depends on what you prefer. One to one in a familiar environment might help, especially if it's with someone who understands about adhd/low self esteem/anxiety etc issues around education.

that was the start of it. She got out in isolation for not completing her work. I’ll call school on Monday! I’ve spoken to dd and told her to be honest with me as I’ll find out Monday anyway 🤦‍♀️😂

Fantastic! Thank you so much 😊

She said she was listening but she said she doesn’t understand Macbeth at all which is what they’re studying. I genuinely think she has trouble retaining information.

Last thing I promise.

You mention she likes doodling. I would suggest trying a white board, white piece of paper where she can doodle what she's listening to (a bit like a story board) with vocab/notes around it. She does it anyway, might as well use it productively, even if she retains one or two pieces of information.Alongside a task list (at the beginning of the lesson so she has an idea of what information is actually useful/essential)- basically short bullet points of what she needs to do(or if it's on the board that slide printed out) so she can match whatever info she has with what she has to do. Then she has to try. It doesn't matter if it's not enough writing, or good enough or even if it's all wrong. She needs to try and put down on paper the information she recorded. Then she can ask the teacher to check/offer feedback. But she has to try.

This would be one way that can be implemented quite quickly, costs very little and is the least work for the teacher.

Feel free to PM if you and more ideas/support so I don't completely take over your thread. Sorry.

This. And teachers don’t have the authority to suspend pupils either…

Haven't RTFT, but IME as a teacher, pupils often trot out "the teacher doesn't help me" at home when in actual fact the child's behaviour/ attitude has been problematic. Added to that, it's not uncommon for students to the blame a teacher for issuing sanctions. So they'll never say, "I got three warnings so I got a detention" but "Mr X gave me a detention (for no reason)", as though the pupil played no role in this. I wouldn't be surprised if your DD had seen the teacher in question talking to another staff member (who does have the authority to internally exclude), and describe this as "the class teacher was trying to suspend me".

I would ask to have a conversation with the school and ask them what happened. Don't go in all guns blazing, it is very likely that their story will be quite different from your daughter's. That is not to say that theirs is right and hers is not, but please keep an open mind.

Thank you so much! I’ll definitely PM you! It’s hard as you say the school say they think she has adhd but nothings in place to support her learning. It’s very difficult and I know she find’s school very challenging. They want to send her to college to study PE one day a week but unsure if that’s the right thing to do!

She is a senior member of staff! I hadn’t realised she’s recently become one of 4 deputy heads

Thank you! I will do!

And sorry yes she does genuinely believe a few of the teachers hate her! Her deputy head has called me numerous times about this. She has a good relationship with a few teachers. One a male teacher who like her loves PE and has a bulldog like her! The other is the assistant SENCo

How did she come to be in a position where water could be accidently spilt across her table? that doesn't sound very likely. Water bottles dont spill

Did you post on the wrong thread? Your reply doesn't make much sense in the context of this thread. Also, unions are there to support teachers, no idea why you think anyone could go to a union to complain about a teacher? Also, mentions of Operations department are nonsensical given this is a teaching/ pastoral issue.

This is simply untrue. Good teachers do not do these things, but not all teachers are good. Dome are horrible bullies, just like some people in every profession are. Some most certainly refuse to help. And some definitely bully the children they teach.

she drinks out of plastic disposable bottle from the supermarket not tap water in a bottle. It’s in a sport shape sort of bottle where you press the lid up and down