I have 2dc with ex (early teens). The kids live with me and have 2 nights a fortnight with ex.
I have recently started therapy and I'm learning that he was bullying/coercive control during our relationship. I have been diagnosed with ptsd.
My dc wouldn't be bothered if they didn't go to their dads but I have always made sure they see him.
I didn't go to court for contact, I just wanted to leave the relationship when my youngest was 2.
My daughter wanted a naval piercing for her birthday a couple of months ago. I allowed it and she didn't want to tell her dad. He found out about it and since then, he has stopped any maintenance payments and refuses to pick the children up now. He states that it is always my wau and I assume he is now teaching me a lesson.
I am completely unsure whether this is acceptable or if this is another way of getting to me, or if I have been unreasonable in not making my daughter ask her dad if she can have a piercing on her own body.
I am in the middle of therapy and although I had an idea that the relationship was emotionally abusive, I was always made to feel that everything was my fault so now I'm unsure