Do most 12 year olds go to bed after 10pm?

[Eastereggmadness]

Am I totally out of touch? Dd just had a huge row with me as wants to be downstairs still at 9.30pm. normally she is meant to be in her room reading/listening to music by 8.45 - lights off 9.30. Apparently all her friends are up well past 10pm. Am I being unreasonable - what time do your 12 year olds go up to bed and what time are lights off.
(For context she is up at 7.15 for school each day).

My 12 year old’s wifi goes off at 9.15, lights off 9.45. He thinks it’s v unfair!

Depends on the time they need to be up in the morning really

Mine goes to bed somewhere between 8.30 and 9.30 usually (she’d be reading for a while if it was at the earlier end though). Lights off about 9.30 and she listens to music or audiobooks to fall asleep.
She’s allowed her tablet and netflix til 11 on a Saturday.

It sounds reasonable to me, I would definitely have a wifi cut off time. Sadly his friends parents probably are not doing that so it alienates him socially that way. Its better in the long term.

DS is year 8 (he is 13 in June) is in bed no later than 10pm. He will not sleep much earlier than 10pm.

*her friends sorry

Surely it depends on the child and how tired they are in the morning. DD2 is almost 15 and bedtime is 9.30 for her. DD1 at the same age was 10.00

My DD has just turned 12.

She has to be up for school at 6.45. She goes to bed at 8.30 and lights off at 9pm. She is autistic and seems to need more sleep than other friends.

I would say most her age aren't going to bed til nearer 9.30 and lights off more like 10-10.15 Just on a bit of a survey of friends' mums. But most aren't up til maybe 7-7.30. This was when they were 11/start of Y7.

But just to say my DD stays up later in the holidays!

DS 12 has only just gone to bed now 😫 he is on school
holidays this week though but I’d say he’s rarely asleep before 10.45 nowadays. He’s always gone to bed late for his age though and never ever went to sleep at 7pm.
biologically don’t teenagers become night owls?

Lights off at 9 for mine, although I don't police it if she stays up later sometimes.

He’s year 8 though

I wouldn't turn the lights out, I would give them a book to read for a bit.

my 13 yr old DS is in bed by 930 and his alarm goes off at 645
up till 10ish on a non school day

I should have mentioned DD is a bad sleeper so takes ages to go to sleep (on melatonin for this). So she feels she is lying in bed for ages before sleeping - 30-60 mins most nights. Not sure if pushing bedtime back will help as in theory more tired /sleep quicker. Or will still takes ages to go to sleep so even later/ worse nights sleep!

I would say the night owl stage properly hit my DS around 14. Although he was never an early to bed/early riser either!

I aim to take phone and laptop by nine. In bed by ten. Doesn't always pan out quite like that, but usually.

I also know one of her friends who really struggles with sleep due to autism and so she may be up really late but not through her or particularly her mum's choice!

10pm has been a bench mark for us from 12 since they do clubs and only get back around 9pm or later.

Back in the dark ages when I was that age I managed my own bed time as did my friends. But generally speaking it was 10 or 10:30 usually.

I’d be less worried about her ‘bedtime’ and focus more on tools to help her sleep. I don’t know the answer for her in particular but do you have anything to lose by working with her on a solution?

DS 13, nearly 14 bedtime is 9.30pm on a school day and he wakes up at 6am. I know a lot of his friends stay up later than he does but as I remind him, I’m not responsible for those children only him and what other people’s children do is none of my business. If he has any less sleep he’s an absolutely nightmare to wake up and get himself organised in the mornings.

9pm here cos she is horrible when she doesn't have enough sleep

That seems very late to me. My 16 yr old goes to bed at 1030 on school night, up at 7 20.
The “all my friends are” line…. yeah right.

Thanks for the replies. I'm a bit confused when people say bedtime do they mean in bed lights out to sleep. Or on their way up to get ready for bed? 🤣 Mine take ages to get ready for bed/faff around so you'd be adding an hour at least onto that 🤣