To leave my son alone in the car?

[anxiousmumy]

This morning I took my daughter to school and had to bring my 10 year old son, who is ill with a sickness bug but mostly OK in himself now but following 48 hour rule, as I have no childcare. Normally DH is working from home so I could leave him but not today so this was a new situation for me.

I made the split second decision to leave him in the car per his wishes (belted in the back. Parked up in car park) doors locked, as it was hammering down with rain. He was out of sight for maybe around 3 minutes as I ran my daughter to the gates and back. When I got back to the car I saw a woman sat in a car opposite looking a bit judgmental and now worried it could constitute as neglect and be reported. didn't think there was any specific law /age and I have never left them before, I wouldn't do it with my DD who is 7.

I'm wondering if I've done the wrong thing and what the general consensus is here?

At 10?!!! Absolutely fine. Hope he’s better soon.

A ten year old?
I'd say that's fine.
I thought you were going to say a toddler.

He's 10 with the height of a 12 year old, so the woman probably thought he was older than 10 too. She gave me the dirtiest look, unless it's just my anxiety lying to me.

Totally fine. You were acting in his best interests - you couldn’t leave him at home alone and it would have been very unpleasant for a sick child to hurry out of the car, in the rain, to drop a sibling off at the gate. Frankly, I’d happily leave a 10 year old alone in the car for a few minutes (assuming they’re happy) just to pop into a shop, etc.

I would have left him at home at 10 unless I was likely to be more than an hour or he was still unwell.
Leaving him in the car is perfectly fine.

Totally fine.

He's 10, not 2

no idea why you mentioned strapped in, in the back? At ten it's irrelevant.

I agree with others...would definately leave a 10 year old in car under these circumstances. I might even have been inclined to leave them at home if I wasn't going to be long!

10 months no 10 years old absolutely. It is fine as long as they have something to sick up into.

We had some Mums in agreement that if a child was sick they could drop the healthy child off next to my car/their car and the parent would take in both sets of children. But parking was a nightmare so lots of us parked a 5 minute walk away which is why we had this arrangement.

A 10 year old ? Of course it’s fine !
Also how can you tell if someone’s looking a bit judgmental, particularly in the rain, in a car ? Maybe she was having a bad day, or planning what’s for dinner tonight, I think you’re overthinking this a bit !

Why didn't you leave him at home if he's ill instead of dragging him out?

Your anxiety is lying to you.

Calm down and think rationally here.

10 is fine.
People can be bad at judging the age of children though. I was reported for leaving a "small child" in the car at the supermarket. It was my 10yo who had just finished rugby training so was coveted in mud... thought it was better not to bring her in!

It’s fine at that age. As long as they’re old enough to know how to unlock the car from the inside in an emergency.

He 10. I would have left him at home if it was a quick trip. Totally fine to leave him in the car

Was it the school carpark? I don't know many primaries/schools that allow parents to park in a car park for drop off.
Or was it a public carpark and were supposed to pay?

Or was she just wondering why a seemingly healthy child wasn't going to school (obviously for good reason but maybe that didn't occur to her)

Or maybe she was thinking about something completely different and hadn't even thought about you.

At 10, I'd have left him at home.

It’s your anxiety. You should have left him at home.

I'd have just left my 10 year old at home. No question I'd leave him in the car for that amount of time.

You have absolutely no idea what that woman was thinking.

This is your anxiety talking to you.

Why not home alone? Unless OP was going to be gone for a significant amount of time?

At 10 and no longer actively ill I would have probably left him at home unless a long trip. Sitting in the car is fine

I think it's completely fine. He's 10.

It sounds like you were gone for just a few minutes.

Personally I think a few minutes in the car in a school car park would be fine for a 7yo too.

Either your anxiety lying to you or woman is nasty just cow, either way you did nothing wrong. I'd have left my 10 year old home alone in that situation, but understand why you'd taken him with you. They all grow up at different rates so maybe he's not ready for that yet. It's clear that you made your decisions based on what you believe is best for your children. You're doing a great job.

Totally fine at 10 and if he wasn’t actively puking and was happy to be left, I’d have left him at home for a little while too.

Thank you everyone for confirming I'm being silly.

As for the car park, it isn't really a car park, it's a huge area of pavement that is used as a makeshift car park for school runs. So no bay lines but fits about 12 cars on. Mentioned as I felt this was safer than parking at the side of the road where a car could clip ours more easily (which again is probably anxiety talking).

I wouldn't feel brave enough to leave him at home yet, I know he's in year 5 so secondary school is approaching.. I was playing out alone at this age too.