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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my son alone in the car?

89 replies

anxiousmumy · 11/04/2024 09:58

This morning I took my daughter to school and had to bring my 10 year old son, who is ill with a sickness bug but mostly OK in himself now but following 48 hour rule, as I have no childcare. Normally DH is working from home so I could leave him but not today so this was a new situation for me.

I made the split second decision to leave him in the car per his wishes (belted in the back. Parked up in car park) doors locked, as it was hammering down with rain. He was out of sight for maybe around 3 minutes as I ran my daughter to the gates and back. When I got back to the car I saw a woman sat in a car opposite looking a bit judgmental and now worried it could constitute as neglect and be reported. didn't think there was any specific law /age and I have never left them before, I wouldn't do it with my DD who is 7.

I'm wondering if I've done the wrong thing and what the general consensus is here?

OP posts:
JMSA · 11/04/2024 12:58

Of course it's fine.

JMSA · 11/04/2024 12:59

MamaGarl85 · 11/04/2024 10:03

I agree with others...would definately leave a 10 year old in car under these circumstances. I might even have been inclined to leave them at home if I wasn't going to be long!

Same.

FlyingPizzaMonkey · 11/04/2024 12:59

At 10 I would have left him at home. I also have a year 5 child.

Olika · 11/04/2024 13:02

At 10 I was walking home alone from school and spending few hours by myself so for me leaving him in the car is ok.

CurlewKate · 11/04/2024 14:44

Absolutely fine-don't worry! I reckon people we think have judgemental faces usually just have faces!

BoohooWoohoo · 11/04/2024 15:04

I would have left him at home unless your school run is super long. It’s “meaner” if you had made him leave the car and potentially infect others.

Purpleturtle45 · 11/04/2024 17:09

Wouldn't even think twice about leaving my 10 year old in the car for a few minutes, absolutely fine!

calligraphee · 11/04/2024 17:11

I saw a woman sat in a car opposite looking a bit judgmental She was quite likely to be thinking about something else entirely!

gould · 11/04/2024 17:16

I was expecting you to say that he was three years old

FlyingPizzaMonkey · 11/04/2024 17:29

Are you getting any help with your anxiety? Next year I expect he’ll want to start walking home by himself, they usually do in year 6.

I doubt she was judging you at all.

NK5f4e6c9X110f7eac49e · 12/04/2024 10:41

Absolutely fine!!

A funny story from a few years ago. I worked in a primary school and on bring your parent to school day. The parent had 2 children.

She spent the first 45 mins in her daughter’s class and then headed to her sons (aged 8).The teacher seemed surprised and said oh “John” isn’t in today! Parent was in panic mode as she’d brought him that morning. (She’d had an absence text but hadn’t checked phone as she was in school) Turns out he was sitting in the car and hadn’t got out!!

IndysMamaRex · 12/04/2024 10:46

He’s 10 & you were gone minutes I wouldn’t worry at all. The person can judge all they want but you’ve done nothing wrong

Sjh15 · 12/04/2024 10:47

Usually yes I’d say fine
however I had a situation yesterday where I got locked outside of my car, my son got locked in, with my phone also in the car.

so now I’m not sure!

Pineapples198 · 12/04/2024 10:53

He’s 10 - no issue whatsoever. Some 10 year olds walk home from school alone or spend the day alone while parents are at work. I err on the side of caution but regularly go out for up to an hour eg grocery shopping leaving my 9 and 11 year olds at home

SoThisisMe · 12/04/2024 10:56

He's 10, leave the poor kid at home in the warm fgs.

TrustyRusty68 · 12/04/2024 11:00

He’s 10 not 2 - pretty sure it was ok to leave him for a few minutes! He’ll be walking himself to school in a year’s time at secondary!! Ignore judgemental people - their opinion doesn’t matter to you! Hope he’s better soon :-)

ranoutofquinoaandprosecco · 12/04/2024 11:02

Absolutely fine, you were doing the best you could under the circumstances. Flowers

gonegrl · 12/04/2024 11:03

I remember my mum doing an entire food shop leaving me and my brother with our gameboys in the car park (from about 7 and 10 years old). That was 20 years ago I guess but I wouldn't think twice about it now either.

Branwells77 · 12/04/2024 11:03

Absolutely fine I don’t see the problem personally I would rather you keep him in the car and not risk potentially spreading the bug I mean that in the nicest possible way OP let people give you dirty looks nothing to do with them he’s old enough to be left alone in a secure place it’s not like you left the doors open and the engine running, honestly some people are so perfect it’s hard to fit in 😂 hope your son is feeling much better xx

PensionedCruiser · 12/04/2024 11:04

AnxiousRabbit · 11/04/2024 10:02

I would have left him at home at 10 unless I was likely to be more than an hour or he was still unwell.
Leaving him in the car is perfectly fine.

Yes, absolutely. Poor boy probably would have been happier left in bed.

Emmz1510 · 12/04/2024 11:27

Not an issue. Ignore the old busybody!

TheNurdnugget · 12/04/2024 11:41

Ah don't dwell on it. She's a nobody, isn't part of your life so just put it out of your head and move on.

Russiandollsaresofullofthemselves · 12/04/2024 12:05

It’s absolutely fine. I had the same situation recently and I left my 10 year old home alone while I walked my other daughter to school as I was away less than 30mins. She didn’t even leave her bed.

Dis626 · 12/04/2024 12:06

At 10 I left my DS alone in the car several times. He was even spending time at home alone at that age.

AlwaysNonStop · 12/04/2024 12:23

You have done absolutely nothing wrong ❤️

You will always get judgement from others and shockingly other mums are the absolute worst. If you weren’t being judged for leaving him in the car you would’ve been judged for dragging a sick kid out in the rain or judged for taking him into school grounds and “risking” other kids.

At 10 he is absolutely fine to be left in the car for short periods of time. If I was running into a shop for a couple of things or nipping into the chemist etc I would ask my oldest if they wanted to come or stay in the car and 9/10 times they’d stay in the car and I’d take my youngest with me (much to their dismay).