To leave my son alone in the car?

[anxiousmumy]

This morning I took my daughter to school and had to bring my 10 year old son, who is ill with a sickness bug but mostly OK in himself now but following 48 hour rule, as I have no childcare. Normally DH is working from home so I could leave him but not today so this was a new situation for me.

I made the split second decision to leave him in the car per his wishes (belted in the back. Parked up in car park) doors locked, as it was hammering down with rain. He was out of sight for maybe around 3 minutes as I ran my daughter to the gates and back. When I got back to the car I saw a woman sat in a car opposite looking a bit judgmental and now worried it could constitute as neglect and be reported. didn't think there was any specific law /age and I have never left them before, I wouldn't do it with my DD who is 7.

I'm wondering if I've done the wrong thing and what the general consensus is here?

At 1 I'd have left him in the house do yes he will also be ok in the car.

Absolutely fine at 10, to be honest at that age I’d have probably left him home alone.

Honestly OP I think your anxiety is a little out of control. It might be worth you having a look at ways to get it under control so you can be more rational in your thinking. It’s exhausting worrying about every little thing.

I'd have left him at home!

Seriously?!?! A 10 year old?! Um yes that's fine. We frequently left DSD in the car aged 10 with the dogs if we were nipping into a shop or running errands.

"belted in the back"???

You do sound a bit overly anxious OP. The car wasn't even moving and he's 10, not 2 😐I would say the other woman wasn't thinking anything bad at all. I often catch myself staring blankly at stuff whilst I'm sat in my car waiting for someone!

I would have left him at home too.

This would have been a great introduction to being left alone to be honest. I get you have anxiety but he's 10 you really need to start giving him some independence. I highly doubt anyone was judging you leaving him in the car.

Jeez 10 is fine! That woman was probably having a bad day nothing to do with you.

My kids were walking to school on their own at that age

So when are you going to start leaving him alone? I have a ten year old, she gets left for short times when needed and knows how to contact me or another family member

I was seriously over cautious with ours when they were young. I’d say 10 in those circumstances is fine.

This is gonna sound so patronising and I apologise for that but I think you need to take a deep breath

I'd have left him at home. Better to have a bowl and access to the toilet than drag him out in the car.

I doubt the woman was giving you a dirty look - you felt guilty and interpreted it that way

I think this is fine with a sensible 10 year old. I wouldn't have left him at home or dragged him through the rain either.

I do think you might be over thinking, you've no idea what was going through the other woman's head, maybe she was grimacing at the fact she was going to have to brave the rain like you just did and was dreading it. Maybe she was lost in her thoughts. I wouldn't give it another second I don't think you did anything wrong.

Definitely leave at home next time ! Also your anxiety sounds like a problem for you. Maybe speak to GP.

At ten that’s perfectly fine !! I would have done the same.

10yr old - absolutely fine! And I say that as someone who is overly cautious myself.

I would have left him at home at that age tucked up in bed.

She probably gave you a dirty look because you were in 'her' parking spot and she was waiting for you to shift.

I think you're overthinking, and the woman in the other car wasn't thinking anything like what you thought. Sometimes when I'm sitting in the car I finding myself staring when I'm just thinking, but it's always an accident lol.

Another one saying that at 10 I would have left them at home.

I doubt the woman was thinking anything at all about you, but if she was it was more likely "why has a sick older child been unnecessarily dragged out when they could have been left safe and warm at home" than "it's inappropriate to leave a 10 year old alone for a few minutes in the car".

Please don't let your anxiety disadvantage your children by stopping them from doing age appropriate things.

We’ve started leaving our year 5 child home alone when this sort of thing happens. Not for long but it’s to build up independence.

10 is fine, when I had a similar dilemma mine stayed in the car the first time and at home the next day when I was reasonably sure he wasn't going to actually be sick. Saying that our school lets you use the staff car park and will bring them out to the office in this situation if you ask.

meganorks · Today 11:42
I'd have left him at home. Better to have a bowl and access to the toilet than drag him out in the car.”

Eh?
have I misunderstood? It’s a child, not a dog, yes?

The bowl and toilet was in reference to the child being sick..