Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in not wanting this woman to sit next to us

38 replies

notalone · 30/03/2008 10:50

Very minor gripe but took DS to the cinema yesterday and we arrived about 5 mins before the film was about to start. The cinema was pretty empty and the whole front left section was free (about 8 rows of seats) so we sat at the back of this section. Just as the film starts a woman and her DD arrive and out of the whole empty section, sit in the seats next to us. The way this cinema works is you get asked where you want to sit, so why wouldn't you want to enjoy spreading out and having a whole row to yourself rather than choosing to sit right next to someone else in an otherwise empty section.

This also happenned on holiday last year. DP, DS and I went to Wales and found a lovely deserted section of beach to sit on, and another family proceeded to sit about 10 feet away from us on a beach that was otherwise empty for miles.

Sorry, I know this is very minor but was a tad annoying at the time.

OP posts:
captainmummy · 30/03/2008 10:52

It is annoying - your 'personal space' expands and contracts according to the vailable space, so if you have an entire cinema, that is your personal space. If someone else comes in and ssits anywhere nearer than halfway, it's in your space and therefore YANBU.

captainmummy · 30/03/2008 10:54

Everytime I see your name Notalone I get the David Bowie song going through my head, but I don't know which song it is! Drives me mad!

Original poster
notalone · 30/03/2008 10:57

Lol captainmummy! It was annoying also because Ds loves to chunter away during films so I thought we would be able to sit and chat away about the film eating copious maltesers, and instead I had to keep shushing him. Oh and the womans mobile kept going off.

OP posts:
cornsilk · 30/03/2008 10:59

I think of the Michael Jackson song when I see 'not alone'!
Very annoying, why would someone do that?

AbbeyA · 30/03/2008 10:59

I think that I would have got up and moved seats.

poodlepusher · 30/03/2008 11:57

This is a very English response. I found that in Germany, if I went into a cinema that was empty and took a seat, the next person would come in and sit next to me - and so on til the row was filled up.

Its just about cultural expectations. I find it really interesting, actually.

Not sure if YABU, but understand your reaction.

getmeouttahere · 30/03/2008 12:03

Oh yes, the British have a very strong herding instinct don't they. Safety in numbers and all that.

OverMyDeadBody · 30/03/2008 12:06

YANBU. I'd be completely the same, especially about the beach thing, I cannot understand this English obsession with sitting close to other people oin beaches.

I agree with captainmummy too, your personaly space expands according to the space around you, so if I'm on a bus with empty seats on it, I don not expect someone to sit next to me. That is only allowed once all the empty seats are taken!

Mrspanic · 30/03/2008 12:07

really annoying ! WHY do they do this ? Have had the same on a huge Cornish beach - almost empty - then large family with frisbees, cricket bats etc turn up and sit ten feet away. We get up and move when this happens. have also found it in carparks - once arrived at large shopping centre quite early and parked nowhere anybody. old gimmer in knackered honda parked right next to me, damaging my door because he was so close he couldn't open his properly. Gave him an earful. "Can't you see I'm a pensioner ?" was his reply. "What's that got to do with your rubbish parking ?" was mine.

warthog · 30/03/2008 12:09

i HATE this!!! i would have got up and moved somewhere else. what a cheek.

Original poster
notalone · 30/03/2008 14:10

Thank god for that. Thought I might get a barrage of responses asking who I think I am lol. I know the lady was within her rights to sit there, after all we hadn't paid for those seats, but it just seemed a bit strange and very irritating. There we were all bunched up in one row with a sea of empty rows in front. Madness!

Don't get me started on the beach thing. I had to hold off a rant last time!

OP posts:
Mumcentreplus · 30/03/2008 14:33

lmao...I would have got a bit annoyed too...but I wouldn't have stopped my DC from munchin away and talking ..if she didn't like it she could move!..I think men do it to lone women to imtimidate them ...a guy did it to me once on an empty bus!...he came and sat right next to me!...I just got up and gave him 'the look' and moved to another seat cheeky git!

princessosyth · 30/03/2008 14:36

I agree with you. I hate this in restaurants too.

JetPeanut · 30/03/2008 14:47

When me and my brother were small my mum took u to the cinema and a man came and sat right next to her and halfway through the film started touching her leg. She got up and took us (confused) kids home.

The moral is: it's weird when a woman invades your personal space like this, but even weirder when a man does it. Listen to your instincts, get up and move. (I think mumcentreplus did the sensible thing by moving on the bus).

rookiemater · 30/03/2008 14:49

That would annoy me too, but then I get irrationally annoyed if someone sits beside me on the plane, and I have got PMT (see any other threads by me) so just about everything is annoying today.

rookiemater · 30/03/2008 14:51

Oh Mumcentreplus, remember that awful story about the guy who got killed on the bus because he was trying to defend his girlfriend from the deranged person who was throwing chips at her, he then got stabbed by him. Everyone else had left the top deck of the bus because of his odd behavious except this poor couple. I remember this now if someone is too close for comfort and slink off out of their radius. Not of course that this mum and her dd were likely to do this of course, but anyway...

ivykaty44 · 30/03/2008 14:52

We pulled onto an empty peice of wasteland overlooking a beautiful bay - the sea was crashing in white waves and the wind was up. The view though was beautiful. Then another motoerhome came in and parked....right in front of us completly blocking the view!

We started up and moved away to regain the veiw - leaving them also with a clear view.

Thankfully we had't put the kettle on and so were able to move, popped kettle on and sat and watched.

Never underestimate the shear tunnel bubble some people live in!!

Surfermum · 30/03/2008 15:05

Maybe given your username you're putting out vibes that are attracting people to be near you. Maybe you should be "oiyougetoutofmyspace" instead .

Chequers · 30/03/2008 16:11

Message withdrawn

donnie · 30/03/2008 16:12

captainmummy - the song you keep humming is 'rock n roll suicide' I believe!

BearMama · 30/03/2008 18:14

No YANBU, I have a VERY strong sense of personal space and would hate this.
Plus my Mum was a cinema usherette when I was growing up so I was even more possessive of the area round "my" seat

TheHedgeWitch · 30/03/2008 20:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

captainmummy · 30/03/2008 20:15

donnie - yup that's it! Funnily enough It came on my ipod this afternoon and I thought aha, that's the one. I must go and post on Mumsnet!

wiggleit · 30/03/2008 20:21

Hi Notalone.. no YANBU! I'm exactly the same. And i think i probably would have got up and moved to sit somewhere else. Am very funny about my personal space! Enter at your own risk!! heehee!!x

LaComtesse · 30/03/2008 20:23

I'd be more annoyed if they'd sat in front of me. A man once travelled through most of the cinema seating (the cinema was virtually empty) in order to plank himself in the seat directly in front of my dd - then aged 3. I had to swop seats with her since he'd managed to block the screen for her. I do get random people on buses doing this though. I do wonder why .

Swipe left for the next trending thread