AIBU to expect regular updates from our nursery

[ElbiTut]

Our DS recently started a nursery. Tbh we really liked the vibe, cleanliness, the fact it is simple not too many bells and whistles, they said they are using this app to give updates during the day about what is going on with the baby - like if he had lunch, nappy changed, went out in the garden, had his nap. This was said is the norm.

It has been a few weeks not a single post was published on the app, I ask every day about his day when I pick him up. They tell me all the updates and are very kind and caring.
However during the day - nothing. Even if I write the message on the app asking for an update explicitly - maybe someone answers towards end of day. But mostly not.
Whatever you ask they keep smiling and saying - oh yes sure we will make sure to do it...
But nothing.
The shocking bit is that the published menu also doesn't match what they eat so you really do have to ask every day.
Is this common? Am I expecting too much?
Is there a way to change this without them hating on my baby then and leaving thim to cry because I was PITA.
For a reference - this is London.

TBH, I'd rather the staff were caring for / interacting with my child than were glued to a screen updating an app during the day, but I see why you're disappointed if this was something that was sold to you as a prospective parent.
The meal thing would annoy me too. The odd substitution - fine. But not all the time.

Tbh I’d rather time was spent looking after my DC than making sure an app was updated. Imagine how much time it would take to do that for each child, it would be a full time job!
They give you feedback at pick up time.

I wish my nursery had this app! They said on our show around day that they prefer paper.

But they're probably too busy to update it unfortunately, OP. But they shouldn't really offer it if they can't update it I suppose.

At mine they send him home with a day sheet of what he's done, his naps, food, bottles etc.

My nursery hardly do updates and the kids come out smiling and happh, I'd rather know they are looking after the kids. I had breakfast this morning with a friend who's son goes to a different nursery and she had 6 updates in 2 hours.. can only imagine the staff are constantly on ipads doing that for every child!

However it would annoy me if they said they would do it and don't! So I think YANBU

Is it a nursery attached to a school? They tend to be like this - whether the school is state or private. I would personally be setting my expectations with the nursery staff and manager while also shopping around to see what else is available.

Some nurseries will use the apps more than others. Do they have paper ones too? You might find they update that more often if so.

Why do you think they will 'hate on your baby'?

This is really normal in my experience. We have used two nurseries who have both said the same thing, that they do updates, and neither actually did.

In the baby room, we got an update with a photo maybe once a week. We'd get told a bit of info on collection, but not too much.

In the toddler room, we often don't even get the nappy/food/sleep info in the app, and we've never had a daily update with what they've been doing. If we get the app update, we do know what he's eaten and how much, but otherwise we don't.

I'd probably lower my expectations. Our nursery now said OFSTED had told them to deprioritise electronic updates for parents, in line with new guidelines, so they have. The one before said they just didn't have enough staff to be able to do regular updates.

They only do paper ones at ours if the app is down.

I'd be suspicious of any nursery that had time to update regularly on an app for all their children.

Also, just going to mention that, as an English teacher, there is a 'type' of person who goes into working in a nursery. All our very nice, hardworking girls who struggle to get GCSEs go off to do childcare courses. They're the 'type' of girl you absolutely do want looking after your children- they would be diligent, delightful, and engage with your kids, while doing a fabulous job. But they would find literacy tasks challenging.

Our nursery didn't have an app. One of the only in the area without one. I hated the idea of constant updates and preferred speaking with staff at the end of the day. Always a bit about how they did, what they did, nappies, how much they ate and slept, and any change of clothes. It was all written down on a sheet each day.
We are starting a different nursery for my youngest and dreading getting notifications. I don't need my kids surrounded by ppl on screens during nursery and it probably takes a while to do updates for every child in their care.
We are also in London

This depends on the area. In mine you can’t get a child-facing job at a nursery unless you have a good level of literacy (demonstrated by a pass in GCSE English, maths and other subjects).

Thank you all, I do feel better now. As I said I so get a good vibe, they are really kind. I am just wondering why would you say you do updates if not, I am sure ppl would appreciate honesty. And I agree that I am happier with them playing with the kids then handling photos and stuff...

They really don't have time to be messaging every parent about every nappy, visit to garden, nap, etc. However I would expect occasional updates on activities.

When mine started nursery in the baby room I would get 2 or 3 photos a day showing him playing. Now I might get a couple of updates a week (he goes 3 days). I know they do post things but they have to be approved by their office, which doesn't always happen.

I love seeing the pictures, but to be honest I don't really think about it now. I know he's happy there and I get a full rundown when I collect him.

Sorry? This is so very offensive.

I think it's unfair to use it as a selling point then not stick to it.

Our nursery is much the same. When dd was in the baby room we got loads of updates but I think they did this during nap time when all the babies were asleep. Or at the end of the day.

Now she's moved up a room I don't think they have the time. Some days I'll get the odd photo/meal update, other days nada.

As pp said, I would rather them focus their time on looking after the kids than being under pressure to update an app for every single nappy change. I see it as a bonus but not an expectation now.

Do find it amusing when I get updates on the days she's not even there 🙈

This whole app thing is quite new. My DC nursery introduced it the week she was leaving, 5 years ago.
We just got a brief review of any relevant info (food, nappies etc, behaviour) at the end of the day upon pick up and noone expected more.

@Itsmychristmasdress yes, you're right. Apologies. I'm aware it sounds super condescending too.

However, my personal experience has been that the really awesome, focussed girls from all of my bottom sets have gone into childcare. I probably am probably projecting therefore.

Wow. What a completely unjustified, nasty, judgemental thing to say! 😡

I can assure you that is absolutely not the case for me. My colleagues and I are all highly qualified thanks very much and most definitely do not find basic literacy tasks challenging.

I’ve said it before, here is yet another reason why so many kind, caring, qualified, experienced practitioners don’t want to stay in the profession!

I wouldn’t expect constant updates but sleep and food is kind of the least I’d expect to be honest.

What age is your DC? I believe the level of info you can expect varies by age, with fewer updates being needed as they grow older. Also that the guidance has been updated recently and it's no longer felt that detailed updates are worthwhile, and that it's better for the staff to be spending time with the children rather than updating apps or filling in paperwork.

Ours doesn't have an app. With a baby under 2, I'd want to know about nappy changes at the end of the day (just so that I can be sure everything is as it should be and I'm not missing constipation), what they slept and how much they ate. I never particularly cared what the menu is tbh, but some parents probably do organise their menus at home to avoid doubling up. Our eldest had one glorious day with fishfingers at preschool, daycare and then at home. Once they're preschool age (3+) all I want to know about is behaviour and whether they ate ok.

But mostly, if your DC is happy and you get a good vibe from the carers I wouldn't worry about the app at all.

@hockityponktas yes, you're right too. And apologies!

I also love the girls I've sent off to study childcare. They would definitely be fabulous at the job, and would work really well with the children.

We get daily photos but it’s one mass dump ie every parent gets every photo. Sometimes it might be 20 photos and your kid is in 1. But you know what the class has been up to. And it’s presumably less time doing it for the staff, which is good as you want interacting with the kids to be the priority. Anything like food or toileting is only mentioned if there’s a problem. It’s a school nursery class of 2-3s though so they can also communicate themselves. I wouldn’t care if it was an app or paper but I’d want a bit more info if DC was an actual baby. To a point though. DD went a daycare when we lived in the US where the app updates were constant and in real time of every food offered, their naps, diaper changes, activities and it did worry me that to do that for all the kids one staff member must have been doing nothing else.

This is probably one of the craziest comments I’ve seen on MN. You really typed that out and pressed ‘post.’ You can’t be serious

I’m a childminder - at children’s nap time after lunch I write a daily diary - includes all meals and snacks , nap times , activities and outings, what the child has enjoyed doing etc . Then at the end of the day I send with photographs. When I’m busy with the children I only use my phone to take photos . I wouldn’t have time to use an app. I also have a quick chat at drop off and pick up .
Maybe consider a childminder as we deliver the same EYFS learning as nurseries .

@ButterflyKu yeah. And it looks worse the more times I look at it too. Argh. I was definitely projecting (based on my personal knowledge of individuals who would struggle)- and I'm worried I've upset people totally unjustifiably now!

Sorry all!