AIBU to expect regular updates from our nursery

[ElbiTut]

Our DS recently started a nursery. Tbh we really liked the vibe, cleanliness, the fact it is simple not too many bells and whistles, they said they are using this app to give updates during the day about what is going on with the baby - like if he had lunch, nappy changed, went out in the garden, had his nap. This was said is the norm.

It has been a few weeks not a single post was published on the app, I ask every day about his day when I pick him up. They tell me all the updates and are very kind and caring.
However during the day - nothing. Even if I write the message on the app asking for an update explicitly - maybe someone answers towards end of day. But mostly not.
Whatever you ask they keep smiling and saying - oh yes sure we will make sure to do it...
But nothing.
The shocking bit is that the published menu also doesn't match what they eat so you really do have to ask every day.
Is this common? Am I expecting too much?
Is there a way to change this without them hating on my baby then and leaving thim to cry because I was PITA.
For a reference - this is London.

It comes down to trust I suppose @jannier and that’s true whatever the preferred format is.

What a vile comment. It does beg the question though, did the ‘girls who struggle’ fail GCSEs because they had you as a teacher?

This comment is disgusting and incredibly uninformed.
Whilst yes, we do have girls who fit your description. In my experience as a childcare worker, the vast majority of the people I worked with went into this job because they have a passion for early years and the children they teach and look after, not because they struggled to get GCSEs (to be qualified to level three now in early years you need to have GCSE level maths). At my last nursery, 40% of the staff were educated at degree level. Not including two qualified teachers (including myself).
It’s this stereotype that reduces early years educators to ‘babysitters’.
In my experience, the girls you describe don’t last very long in nurseries at all because they find out it’s a much harder job than they realise. As an English teacher, you might see them go off to college to study this, I see the actual staff in nurseries and we have wildly different experiences.

Its not all parents. But my god are the ones who have unreasonable expectations loud.
Im a teacher and hand on heart, OFSTED and parents are the worst part of our job.
Again, not all parents. But far more than you’d think.

@Rycbar I am a teacher myself and I am not doubting that there are difficult parents. I’m just disputing that childcare settings started using apps as a form of communication because of demanding parents. For my part I don’t really care whether the information is whatsapped or written or in the form of an app - whatever works for the nursery - but I do think some minimal information on food and sleep (if applicable) and toileting / nappies is reasonable.

There are apprentices in nurseries who by definition are unqualified....doesn't mean they can't write and to do an apprenticeship they do have to pass tests. The issue most people have is the apprentice being left to care without supervision.

But they do tell her…it’s just at the end of the day. I think apps were introduced as when you get time to fill them in it greatly reduces the length of time it takes to do hand over at the end of the day. Unfortunately, a whole new set of problems came with it - parents ringing up 10 minutes after lunchtime because meals hadn’t been uploaded (because more likely than not the staff are putting the children down for a sleep!). You would think this is a minority but it’s really not.

It's really not "just childcare".

Stupid nursery worker (with a masters degree) checking in...
I prefer to spend with the children rather than sit on the iPad to update the app, but I will do a detailed handover in person at the end of the day and try to upload photos when all the children have gone home.

I actually reported that comment on MN on the grounds that while I don’t think it was the intention I do think the comment had the potential to cause a great deal of offence and upset. But I do think it’s a little disingenuous to pretend it’s the first time anyone has made a disparaging comment about nurseries and the women who work in them on here.

@Rycbar i can believe it unfortunately!

If they say it was going to happen then yes it's a bit rubbish that it doesn't .
When mine was in daycare I said I'm going to assume all is well unless I heard from them. I did not want to be distracted by this or that updates - I needed to work and frankly it was a welcome relief someone else was caring fir him. And I don't care what he's eating as long as it's not all junk.

I think it is. The EYFS objectives set by the government are absolute pish. Not the fault of the nurseries, just rubbish targets.

As I said. The socialisation aspect is the benefit IMO.

Everything they learnt at nursery (or with us) they re did at school anyway. And both ours could write, knew their basic tables (if not all) and read by the time they started reception. That didn't come from nursery, that was 100% parental and family involvement.

I wouldn’t want all these updates.
A brief rundown at handover would be fine with me. The occasional photo would be nice but wouldn’t be the end of the world if I never got one. And as long as the food was healthy that’s all I’d need to know.
you won’t get photos and daily app notifications when they start school nursery.

Regarding the menu... It's usually up to the chefs, if they don't tell us in advance they're changing the menu then we can't tell the parents until after lunch. It only really happens if something's missing from a delivery.

you won’t get photos and daily app notifications when they start school nursery

Not all children will start school nursery.

By the time they start school they can generally communicate fairly clearly. My baby will start nursery when she’s 11 months old, she isn’t going to be able to tell me she didn’t like her tea so didn’t eat it and is hungry!

I work in an SEN school where we have a similar parent app. The expectation from senior leadership team is that staff fill out the app with parent updates across the day and I am sure they tell parents about this on admission. But the reality is that filling out the apps during the day when the kids are in school isn’t possible, when we’re working with the kids we’re hands on and there isn’t time to sit down and start putting updates on the app for every child, management don’t really get this because they’re rarely actually working with the students which is why they think we should be using it.

As long as you are getting a thorough handover at pick up then I wouldn’t worry about the app being updated during the day, what difference does it actually make if you find out what he’s eaten for lunch at 1pm or at pick up? Be happy the staff are interacting with the kids and not filling in paperwork!

My baby will start nursery when she’s 11 months old, she isn’t going to be able to tell me she didn’t like her tea so didn’t eat it and is hungry!

absolutely - but why can’t the staff member tell you that at pick up? You don’t need an app to pass on info.

Personally op I don't think you're being unreasonable. At the end of the day this nursery has used this app and their use of it as one of the ways to entice you as a customer and now they aren't delivering on it.

Our nursery do updates at 4 points during the day, usually after meals they will update things like nappies, naps and exactly what my son has eaten. They also upload a drop of photos in the morning and again in the afternoon. I've never had the impression that they aren't looking after ds, they seem extremely on the ball and all the staff are brilliant at their jobs. In so many jobs people need to log their time/ communications with clients etc. I don't think it's asking anything unreasonable especially since its a part of the service they have said they provided but don't deliver on.

Because the nursery use the app, @AmusedMaker - as I’ve said above I don’t really care how they tell me but given they are the ones who decided to communicate via the app it’s reasonable enough to expect it to be used.

It is also useful having it written down to access it you need to later for whatever reason.

There was life before the internet & everyone had apps on their phones.
Back in the day when people actually spoke to each other.

Rainyspringflowers - fair enough then.
( and my last post wasn’t for you - just me thinking out loud 😄 )

Just echoing what many have said here. We get updates on collection about food, nappy changes, general how they've been. All kids seem happy and confident with their key workers which is all I need. We do get occasional "doing activity' updates and pictures but not a lot, and I get it, I was anxious at first about the few and far between updates but honestly as time has gone on I know DD is being cared for by amazing staff and that ticks all the right boxes. I had to collect her early today as they said she had a temp and when I got there all the kids were dead happy playing and causing chaos.

Mine started nursery at 5 months. The ratio of staff to kids means hopefully you'll be able to speak to your DD's particular helper every day to see how she is 😍

Jesus well give yourself a little pat on the back for being such a good parent and teaching your children all these things.

I hope when your children were at nursery you managed to keep your opinions to yourself and not the demoralise the practitioners even more they already are.

I can assure you that socialisation is absolutely not the only thing that children get from nursery.
(most) nurseries work really hard to ensure that the children have access to a wide and varied curriculum with learning opportunities that they would not get elsewhere.

Practitioners work incredibly hard for very little money and to hear how little some parents think of us and don’t appreciate what we do is really sad.

My children's nursery school uses an app. This is their main form of communication to save time during hangovers, the nursery is the best in the area. Staff ratios are high and my children have their own key workers who tend to their personal care.

The app gives below info and what staff member did what.

• check in time and by which parent
• time if nappy changes and if wet or soiled
• snacks eaten and how much of it
• activities
• photos
• nap time
• who picked them up and what time.

You can message any queries and they can message you but like normal texts so in real time and instant. It's absolutely fantastic.