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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Something seriously weird is going on. Shouldn't my boss stand up for me?

66 replies

baraahp24 · 10/04/2024 05:15

I have written about this in the past but wanted to give a summing up of the situation as it is now and see what other people think is really going on here. It's quite a saga but I'll try to be brief. Thanks in advance to those who bear with me.

I started a job last year in which I inherited a toxic (but temporary) employee A. A was truly awful off the bat, especially after I uncovered her timesheet fraud which, despite the glaring evidence, upper management ended up paying out until her contract ended after an alleged investigation I wasn't privy to indicated as such. No explanation to me as to why.

I also work with employee B who started not long before I did. B and I hit it off from the outset (or so I thought), even though we shared different views of our mutual boss C. This difference of opinion rapidly became a point of contention for her and she became increasingly combative towards him (others also but mostly him, and publicly). I kept it professional and continued on in my work. However, her contempt spread to target other employees, and even included bullying employees from other sections to the point of tears. She also became more and more secretive about her work and whereabouts, and stopped attending meetings. She effectively isolated herself from the entire team and we've all been baffled as to how it had come to this. Any time she was actually in the office the entire atmosphere changed.

Somewhere along the line A and B joined forces in an effort to topple a common enemy - C. I have become collateral damage in this as I have no choice but to try to work with B given the nature of my job. I don't want to go into detail but my team is supposed to provide a service to hers. But she has isolated herself from me, and made huge mistakes (either deliberately or incompetence) which has caused huge repercussions for our organisation - both operationally, and externally as in how we are perceived. Not to mention the toll it is taking on staff morale. This obviously shines a spotlight on me not doing a very good job, even though I have not been given a chance.

C knows all this has gone on. The entire team does. Yet, no one is stopping her from her increasingly vicious attacks on me every time I try to mitigate the risks she is creating for us, which is my job. She has been shown to be colluding with B to cause problems and accusing me of all kinds of things. She has slandered C in the most terrible ways also and I feel bad for him, but I'm also wondering at what point is someone going to step in and stop her from her attacks on me? A group of us have lodged statements about B's behaviour. Everyone knows she needs to go and I and other staff know we will need to leave if she isn't fired because it's like she WANTS to blow the place up. There is no future with her there. I keep getting told upper management is aware of everything and all our statements are being processed and investigated, yet there is no timeline on this and I am continually bearing the brunt of her attacks and feel extremely unsupported. And given employee A was shown to have committed serious fraud and got off scott free I'm seriously wondering whether anything will be done about B.

I should also mention that the only person B talks to now is C's deputy (D) who has taken over temporarily as her line manager as she refuses to work for C. However, D behaves very differently when C is not at work. Besides ordering me to sweep A's fraudulent timesheets under the rug, he also defends B who is known to be the problem here. To the point where he has become incredibly rude to me and I've had to seriously push back. So I feel like I'm being attacked by both, yet no one is standing up for me. This clearly gives her more fuel to ramp up the attacks and continue to drag my name through the mud.

AIBU to say WTAF? What is actually going on here? I have asked both my boss and hers to intervene but remain the whipping boy.

OP posts:
baraahp24 · 10/04/2024 05:21

Just read that back. Apologies for the poor sentence structure and typos etc.

OP posts:
Scarydinosaurs · 10/04/2024 05:24

I remember your last thread.

Something really suspicious is going on. Can you look for a new job??

baraahp24 · 10/04/2024 05:29

I will be, though I’ve only been there six months. Not a good look.

I’m really interested to hear if this has happened to anyone else. Starting to wonder whether I’m even actually being thrown under the bus by my own boss as it takes the heat off him and puts it squarely on my shoulders. Doesn’t explain how the vast majority of anyone who comes into contact with this woman swiftly finds her to be highly toxic and impossible. Or why fraud is seemingly okay. Or why D is behaving like he is.

OP posts:
baraahp24 · 10/04/2024 05:30

Also, I’m no wimp and have fought many battles in my life. But surely that doesn’t mean there’s a free for all for these two (or three is you count A) to come at me all guns blazing whenever it tickles their fancy. Surely.

OP posts:
Springchickenonion · 10/04/2024 05:32

Honestly look for a new job. It doesn't matter you where only there 6 months. Your happiness is more important. When they asked why you left at an interview just say the role didn't live up to what was promised or along those lines and you wanted a company you could grow with.

cryinglaughing · 10/04/2024 05:32

Life's too short for this shit, get yourself out of there and pronto!!

imforeverblowingbuttons · 10/04/2024 05:34

You have tried fighting your corner. It's not working. Walk with your feet. Others will likely do the same.

DaftyLass · 10/04/2024 05:34

Clearly they aren't to suddenly change now, and it is wearing on you every time you interact.
Time is too precious to waste, I'd be resigning now

shoppingshamed · 10/04/2024 05:40

I read your previous thread and posters suggested that maybe something was going on between the other staff members. I'd be looking for another job and seeing it as a lucky escape

Starlightstarbright3 · 10/04/2024 05:40

I also remember you previous thread . I would also be looking elsewhere . This sounds an awful place to work.

six months continually might not look great as a one off looks fine.

SilverBranchGoldenPears · 10/04/2024 05:45

There is no way you should still be there. 6 months is a fine length of time to leave. As above you just say you stuck it out for that long to see if it would improve but you didn’t want to fall for the sunk cost fallacy and decided to leave.
I‘ve seen all sorts of craziness in jobs including g things such as the above, but if you don’t have good managers (which you don’t) or an effective HR then you are doomed.

AzureBlue99 · 10/04/2024 06:05

Just leave. Stop pondering on the why it is like it, ponder on getting yourself out of there. Focus on that. Your six months employment can be explained away during recruitment. Start job hunting now. Change your mindset, where you are now you are a temp, you ain't staying, so keep that focus.

Happyinarcon · 10/04/2024 06:09

There’s a lot of weird bullying going on in the workplace at the moment, I have had several friends affected. It’s up to you if you want to soldier on and maybe apply for compensation down the track or just leave

SuncreamAndIceCream · 10/04/2024 06:27

Whatever is going on, as one person alone you're not going to solve it.

I would be looking for a new job. Six months is fine. Just say it was a temp contract or the job wasn't as you expected. Happens all the time.

Bearbookagainandagain · 10/04/2024 07:10

It could be as you say.

Or you started a new job, disliked A and accused them of fraud and tried to get them fired. That didn't work and B took A's side. So you started blaming B for all the errors made in your work/team and accused them of being incompetent (or more likely crazy as it comes across in your post). Now you turn your attention to D because he is not agreeing with you, I imagine he will soon be "crazy or incompetent" too.

At the end of the day wherever the issue is, you are fueling the fire.

SoupChicken · 10/04/2024 07:19

You should look for a new job, this is not the place for you.

roastedrapidly · 10/04/2024 07:36

Even though A & B are toxic and really not nice , the problem is management don't seem to have the balls to deal with it or support other staff.

That is the issue.

Even if one day A & B leave, weak and unsupportive management is going to continue to cause you other problems due to the lack of support.

They are reinforcing a toxic work environment by not dealing with this.

Please leave and go somewhere you are valued.

HotChocolateNotCocoa · 10/04/2024 08:11

I should also mention that the only person B talks to now is C's deputy (D) who has taken over temporarily as her line manager as she refuses to work for C. However, D behaves very differently when C is not at work. Besides ordering me to sweep A's fraudulent timesheets under the rug, he also defends B who is known to be the problem here. To the point where he has become incredibly rude to me and I've had to seriously push back.

Push back on D each and every time he tries to tell you what to do or is rude. Remind him he is not your manager. If he tries to push the point, state that, unlike B, you are simply following the correct chain of command - C is your manager and you will be taking orders from only him. Reply to any dissent with “Another team member has been allowed to stop taking orders from her manager. All I am asking to do is follow the correct chain of command. I will be doing so”.

Dig your heels in. If they’re going to pander to one awkward cow, they can damn well pander to another.

BombBiggleton · 10/04/2024 08:22

Obviously you should leave, and I would consider getting signed off with stress now and serve your notice in that period. It's an awful , corrupt environment.

This 'wouldn't look good on a CV ' think is a bit of a nonsense as well..leaving an unsuitable environment shows positive character traits. Employers don't really care about short stays in roles.

baraahp24 · 10/04/2024 08:26

@shoppingshamed yes, I remember the replies to a previous post. Someone had suggested my boss (C) might even be implicated somehow. I shrugged that off at the time thinking there was no way. I always thought he was a good leader. It’s not that I think he’s dodgy in the respect that he’s ripping off the system off like I suspect D is, but I’ve really hit a point now where I am starting to wonder if he isn’t intervening because he’s happy for me the be the scapegoat in this whole ridiculous affair instead of him. He’s made a point of telling me not to feel alone, and that this isn’t a B against baraahp24 situation but a B against the organisation situation, but I don’t actually feel supported at all. There has been deafening silence since her last vicious attack in which she emailed me, including all and sundry, with accusations and outright lies about my incompetence. Someone has deleted it from the share Inbox, but everyone else she CCd has seen it.

OP posts:
FeralNun · 10/04/2024 08:37

I remember your last thread too.

Look, I know it seems all encompassing because you are IN it, and work and all it’s preoccupations seem very important, but you are far too enmeshed. It’s clearly a horrible place and you’re not going to win there.

Just leave. In a few months you will look back and wonder why you stayed 6 weeks let alone 6 months.

And at the end of your career in many years time, this will be a barely remembered blip - if you choose your mindset about it.

jeaux90 · 10/04/2024 08:44

OP it's ok to move quickly a couple of times in your career.

In fact I moved 18 months ago from a job I'd only been in 9 months because of the culture. I usually work places for 4-7 years. It's ok, your new place might ask why the quick move when you interview, you can just say culturally it didn't work for you.

Honestly move on, you will be relieved!

Pluviophile1 · 10/04/2024 08:45

baraahp24 · 10/04/2024 05:30

Also, I’m no wimp and have fought many battles in my life. But surely that doesn’t mean there’s a free for all for these two (or three is you count A) to come at me all guns blazing whenever it tickles their fancy. Surely.

Some battles really aren't worth fighting if it means damaging your mental health.
Look for another job and leave this shit show in the past.

LookItsMeAgain · 10/04/2024 08:52

I agree that looking for a new job really is your only option here.
If during the interview stage with a new prospective employer they ask why you only stayed 6 months with this crowd, just say "I was finding that they weren't a good match for my talents" or something along those lines. I wouldn't accept any responsibility for the fact that it's only been 6 months.
You've tried to do your best with this shower and they are just toxic so I'd get out as soon as you can.

juniorspesh · 10/04/2024 09:39

It's not a university is it? Sounds like a few I've known.

EIther way, run.

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