Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Something seriously weird is going on. Shouldn't my boss stand up for me?

66 replies

baraahp24 · 10/04/2024 05:15

I have written about this in the past but wanted to give a summing up of the situation as it is now and see what other people think is really going on here. It's quite a saga but I'll try to be brief. Thanks in advance to those who bear with me.

I started a job last year in which I inherited a toxic (but temporary) employee A. A was truly awful off the bat, especially after I uncovered her timesheet fraud which, despite the glaring evidence, upper management ended up paying out until her contract ended after an alleged investigation I wasn't privy to indicated as such. No explanation to me as to why.

I also work with employee B who started not long before I did. B and I hit it off from the outset (or so I thought), even though we shared different views of our mutual boss C. This difference of opinion rapidly became a point of contention for her and she became increasingly combative towards him (others also but mostly him, and publicly). I kept it professional and continued on in my work. However, her contempt spread to target other employees, and even included bullying employees from other sections to the point of tears. She also became more and more secretive about her work and whereabouts, and stopped attending meetings. She effectively isolated herself from the entire team and we've all been baffled as to how it had come to this. Any time she was actually in the office the entire atmosphere changed.

Somewhere along the line A and B joined forces in an effort to topple a common enemy - C. I have become collateral damage in this as I have no choice but to try to work with B given the nature of my job. I don't want to go into detail but my team is supposed to provide a service to hers. But she has isolated herself from me, and made huge mistakes (either deliberately or incompetence) which has caused huge repercussions for our organisation - both operationally, and externally as in how we are perceived. Not to mention the toll it is taking on staff morale. This obviously shines a spotlight on me not doing a very good job, even though I have not been given a chance.

C knows all this has gone on. The entire team does. Yet, no one is stopping her from her increasingly vicious attacks on me every time I try to mitigate the risks she is creating for us, which is my job. She has been shown to be colluding with B to cause problems and accusing me of all kinds of things. She has slandered C in the most terrible ways also and I feel bad for him, but I'm also wondering at what point is someone going to step in and stop her from her attacks on me? A group of us have lodged statements about B's behaviour. Everyone knows she needs to go and I and other staff know we will need to leave if she isn't fired because it's like she WANTS to blow the place up. There is no future with her there. I keep getting told upper management is aware of everything and all our statements are being processed and investigated, yet there is no timeline on this and I am continually bearing the brunt of her attacks and feel extremely unsupported. And given employee A was shown to have committed serious fraud and got off scott free I'm seriously wondering whether anything will be done about B.

I should also mention that the only person B talks to now is C's deputy (D) who has taken over temporarily as her line manager as she refuses to work for C. However, D behaves very differently when C is not at work. Besides ordering me to sweep A's fraudulent timesheets under the rug, he also defends B who is known to be the problem here. To the point where he has become incredibly rude to me and I've had to seriously push back. So I feel like I'm being attacked by both, yet no one is standing up for me. This clearly gives her more fuel to ramp up the attacks and continue to drag my name through the mud.

AIBU to say WTAF? What is actually going on here? I have asked both my boss and hers to intervene but remain the whipping boy.

OP posts:
inabubble3 · 10/04/2024 09:56

This sounds chaotic to be honest. where re management and are people able to do their jobs? Are you able to do your job? It sounds like it stresses you out….

Not really dealt with this as such but work in a chaotic place right now (think terrible trining, support, managers, smoke and mirrors, no listening, manager who tried to befriend staff, defo feel like I’ve been thrown under the bud subtly by manager who winds other people up- presumably because I spoke up about the lack of support etc ). Ive been there for 2 years- it’s probably not as terrible as yours sounds - but I’ve just applied for a job somewhere else.

baraahp24 · 10/04/2024 09:59

HotChocolateNotCocoa · 10/04/2024 08:11

I should also mention that the only person B talks to now is C's deputy (D) who has taken over temporarily as her line manager as she refuses to work for C. However, D behaves very differently when C is not at work. Besides ordering me to sweep A's fraudulent timesheets under the rug, he also defends B who is known to be the problem here. To the point where he has become incredibly rude to me and I've had to seriously push back.

Push back on D each and every time he tries to tell you what to do or is rude. Remind him he is not your manager. If he tries to push the point, state that, unlike B, you are simply following the correct chain of command - C is your manager and you will be taking orders from only him. Reply to any dissent with “Another team member has been allowed to stop taking orders from her manager. All I am asking to do is follow the correct chain of command. I will be doing so”.

Dig your heels in. If they’re going to pander to one awkward cow, they can damn well pander to another.

I’ve said exactly that numerous times (the bit about him not being my line manager). With the timesheets D tried to steamroll me anyway, claiming he had agreed it with C. Yet, I don’t think it was the case at all. The fact even just that was swept under the carpet despite all the evidence just baffles me. Really.

OP posts:
Beautiful3 · 10/04/2024 10:04

I'd log it all and report to hr. Asking them to have a chat with her.

Notsureaboutittoday · 10/04/2024 10:04

What kind of industry is this? Is it a large organisation? Is there a union or whistleblowing process? At this point I'd gather all my evidence of personal attacks and time sheet fraud etc and go to the police. They all sound weird.

Waffleson · 10/04/2024 10:05

Just leave. This isn't your fault and you can't solve it. Some managers are crap, sone organisations are toxic, you have to do the best thing for you and move on.

Notsureaboutittoday · 10/04/2024 10:05

baraahp24 · 10/04/2024 09:59

I’ve said exactly that numerous times (the bit about him not being my line manager). With the timesheets D tried to steamroll me anyway, claiming he had agreed it with C. Yet, I don’t think it was the case at all. The fact even just that was swept under the carpet despite all the evidence just baffles me. Really.

Do you get sick pay? Go off sick.

CagneyAndLazy · 10/04/2024 10:20

Notsureaboutittoday · 10/04/2024 10:05

Do you get sick pay? Go off sick.

What an MN response.

"Go off sick"

🙄

OP, definitely speak with HR. If you really think there is something underhand going on with collusion between various factions, including managers, to steer outcomes for themselves at the expense of the organisation then speaking up is no bad thing.

Depending upon the business/organisation you may have a whistle-blowing process or even a helpline for that (I've worked at a senior level in several multinationals with various routes for this type of flag-raising).

If you're comfortable with moving on - and you should be, even though it's only 6-months, assuming you don't do that regularly - then there's nothing to lose.

Notsureaboutittoday · 10/04/2024 10:22

CagneyAndLazy · 10/04/2024 10:20

What an MN response.

"Go off sick"

🙄

OP, definitely speak with HR. If you really think there is something underhand going on with collusion between various factions, including managers, to steer outcomes for themselves at the expense of the organisation then speaking up is no bad thing.

Depending upon the business/organisation you may have a whistle-blowing process or even a helpline for that (I've worked at a senior level in several multinationals with various routes for this type of flag-raising).

If you're comfortable with moving on - and you should be, even though it's only 6-months, assuming you don't do that regularly - then there's nothing to lose.

Why shouldn't she though? She's being bullied, not listened to and it must be effecting her mental health. I'd absolutely use sick pay in this instance to take a breather, apply for other jobs and as I said in other posts go to the police with my findings (particularly the fraud aspect and the cover up) and also a solicitor/union/whistleblowing. You can't do that whilst also still at work.

Alstreena · 10/04/2024 10:24

cryinglaughing · 10/04/2024 05:32

Life's too short for this shit, get yourself out of there and pronto!!

^ this.

Polish your CV and then PUFO (pack up and f off !!)

Rosecoffeecup · 10/04/2024 10:26

baraahp24 · 10/04/2024 09:59

I’ve said exactly that numerous times (the bit about him not being my line manager). With the timesheets D tried to steamroll me anyway, claiming he had agreed it with C. Yet, I don’t think it was the case at all. The fact even just that was swept under the carpet despite all the evidence just baffles me. Really.

Sounds like they've swept the timesheet stuff under the carpet because they were worried that A had something on them, or other people were complicit. I remember your thread at the time.

I'd be looking for another role - I honestly wouldn't worry about only being there 6 months, so many people take short term contracts or move frequently these days.

This sounds like a fucking awful culture to be working in, not an ounce of integrity between them and there's no one on your side. Get out whilst you can.

UptoYou · 10/04/2024 10:31

OP I remember your previous posts too.

Big picture, there will be no miracle which changes how your workmates and boss act.
Your best course of action is to find a new job, and find a way to make your workplace bearable in the meantime. Completely disengage with the bonkers stuff as much as possible.
I was in a similar position recently - long story short ended up being managed out and have now been out of work for 6 months. In hindsight, I wish I had managed to put up with their shite until a new job came up for me - as the stress of not having an income these last few months was worse than putting up with their toxicity.

I do hope you find a new, much better job soon.

FartSock5000 · 10/04/2024 10:47

@baraahp24 the writing's on the wall and you should be looking for a new job.

In your shoes, i'd request a meeting with HR or the boss over your boss and explain what has been happening and how you feel. Bring upper management in on things so they are aware.

Either way, you'll be the baby tossed out with the bath water because you are new and its easier to get rid of you than the 3 causing the issues.

Rosecoffeecup · 10/04/2024 10:55

baraahp24 · 10/04/2024 05:30

Also, I’m no wimp and have fought many battles in my life. But surely that doesn’t mean there’s a free for all for these two (or three is you count A) to come at me all guns blazing whenever it tickles their fancy. Surely.

Just to add - knowing when to withdraw yourself from a conflict is more important than just battling through it because you think that's what you should do, or what people expect of you to do. I guarantee these fuckers are only interested in saving their own skin and you should be too. Look for a new job with your head held high, your integrity in tact and knowing that you've always done the right thing both for yourself and the organisation.

yogpot · 10/04/2024 11:22

Run. The odd short tenure is fine, I’ve had a four month one before. The role just wasn’t right (and the workplace was absolutely awful) but I’ve always just been quite open and said the role was a poor fit and that I made the choice to leave swiftly for minimum impact on the business in question. It’s never been an issue.

What you’ve described there is ridiculous and it’ll only get worse, get yourself out.

Daffidale · 10/04/2024 11:27

Make sure things are in writing and documented
if abusive messages are getting deleted from shared inbox, take screenshots or photo on your phone
Raise a bullying grievance against C
Have you actually done that?

I know 6 months feels like forever when you are on the receiving end of this. However investigations and actions take time to complete and play out. Management can’t discuss what they are doing about it with you unfortunately

With person A, it may make much more sense for an org to “buy someone off” than try to prove fraud or misconduct to fire them and risk a tribunal or legal claim. It’s much less risky to agree a settlement. It doesn’t mean they don’t agree it was happening, it was just a faster neater lower risk way to do it. The nature of that kind of buy out means you won’t know the details

baraahp24 · 10/04/2024 11:28

Thanks to all of your kind words. It’s been a very tumultuous six months so taken its toll. I think you’re all right. I saw how things went with A and her fraud. Now I’m experiencing B. And D. I keep trying to pass off the fact that they’re all related (because they are) but that’s no reason to stick around in the hope upper management will do the right thing.

OP posts:
Mirabai · 10/04/2024 11:29

The bottom line is - you’re working in a shambolic organisation with poor management.

There is no way you can come out of this well, no matter how principled you are, it’s every man for himself.

Find yourself a new job asap.

Mirabai · 10/04/2024 11:29

Xpost - good.

pikkumyy77 · 10/04/2024 11:34

You can’t stay and wait for C to butch up and rescue you. At this point you know he won’t/cant. Just report to HR and lesve.

BobbyBiscuits · 10/04/2024 11:37

Six months of pure hell. I had a stressful job with bullying but the level of BS you describe was over the course of 15 years!
They all seem awful. You are too decent and reasonable to be in the middle of these arseholes.

FeralNun · 10/04/2024 12:06

Good. I recognise in you that need to make sense of it all, because it seems so inexplicable that people can behave so badly and managers just not do their jobs, because this kind of carry on is totally alien to you and your values. And that feels shocking and bloody unfair. Traumatic even.

Don’t waste any more time or energy on it. It’s like when a complete arsehole who you’ve been unfortunate enough to fall for dumps you or treats you cruelly- you feel you must get to the bottom of WHY in order to have your equilibrium restored. But the only answer is that they are an arsehole. Same applies here!

katmarie · 10/04/2024 12:45

Bluntly, if they are all related, then you have no chance. You can submit a grievance and complain and when that gets investigated and denied, you can appeal, and when that gets investigated and denied, you can basically suck it up or leave. Because you've been there less than 2 years, you have very few protections, and so you when you did leave you wouldn't be able to take a claim of constructive dismissal to tribunal. So you might as well save yourself the stress of the battle, and just move on. Because I don't think this is one you are going to win. Unless all of the other players are forced to leave. And that seems very unlikely based on previous HR actions by the company.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 10/04/2024 13:41

This sounds toxic but it seems unlikely anything will change, I think the only solution is to start looking for a new job elsewhere.

FictionalCharacter · 10/04/2024 14:51

baraahp24 · 10/04/2024 11:28

Thanks to all of your kind words. It’s been a very tumultuous six months so taken its toll. I think you’re all right. I saw how things went with A and her fraud. Now I’m experiencing B. And D. I keep trying to pass off the fact that they’re all related (because they are) but that’s no reason to stick around in the hope upper management will do the right thing.

Absolutely right - they won't do the right thing because this whole mess is caused by poor management and corruption. Too many people in a position of authority are complicit, or at best weak.
Nothing will change there unless the troublemakers move on, and new management comes in, say "not on my watch" and do a huge shake up.
All you can do is save yourself. Only being there 6 months honestly isn't a problem. If you can show you resigned and weren't fired it's fine. Just tell interviewers that you feel you're a better fit for the role than the one you're leaving and you feel there are better development opportunities etc.

Couldyounot · 10/04/2024 14:58

cryinglaughing · 10/04/2024 05:32

Life's too short for this shit, get yourself out of there and pronto!!

This, and also: where in all this intrigue and machination does any work get done?

Swipe left for the next trending thread